I organised a meetup in Birmingham last year to go and see a film - the one with Signourney Weaver playing an Autistic person - 'Snow Cake'
It was showing at an arts cinema in B'ham called the mac (Midlands Arts Centre), which is a really nice place - not too busy, nice restaurent/cafe and bar - perfect for an AV meet in my opinion, as everything was there in the one place, no need to trek all over the place and cause additional stress
5 people from AV attended on the day; 3 to see the film and we had to meet up with 2 others all the way back at B'ham station as that suited them better
I met up first with a person called Philip at B'ham station (Philip the Great on AV)
I recognised him from some of the photos of previous AV meets
I said Hi to him and he said 'Oh, I didn't think it was you as you looked too old to be posting on AV'
How's that for an opening gambit! lol
I realised that he was displaying a typical AS lack of tact and so continued to give him the time of day but I was
VERY offended in all honesty - that totally crushed me!
I am always complimented on the very fact that I DON'T look my actual age (41) so this was totally new to me and therefore a real blind-sider
I had also recently split with my bf and was feeling somewhat emotionally fragile
I had HOPED that the meet would be an opportunity to get out of myself more and feel better.....
What am I meant to do?? - take it in good spirit but how can you carry on interacting in a totally natural way when a person has said somthing like that to you!?
Andrew turned up next - friendly bloke, touch of the 'Head Boy' about him tho, like he's
really in charge, despite it being my f-ing meet and me already being pissd off about the Philip the Not So Great comment!
Taking into account as well that stations/anywhere in public really really stress me out so the longer we're hanging around there, the more my stress is going to build up
We waited around for Tom whose train/coach was late and this involved going out into B'ham to find somewhere to get a drink/something to eat while we waited for Tom to arrive
I would have been happy to sit at a cafe within the station but oh no, Philip wants to go out of station - see a theme developing here?
Then when we found somewhere there was further dithering about and we had to come out of there as Philip wanted somewhere to eat his sandwiches outside
Philip's main interaction with me appears to be a bemused/amused expression and taking the piss out of my Midlands accent, so that I get the distinct impression I'm not there as an equal person, just a figure of fun or something
Something akin to patting a small furry animal on the head and then going 'Anyway, so you were saying Andrew' etc
My tolerance was waning rapidly....
And Andrew seemed to be getting p-ed off with me getting p-ed off...
Which p-ed me off even more!
We finally met up with Tom at the station and got a taxi to the mac
(with hardly any time to spare I might add!)
We met my friend Lee there , as arranged
Now I could have just have got a lift with Lee to this place and saved myself all the hassle of faffing about with the other
2....
In fact, I'd initially arranged to just meet up with another Aspie friend and just us two go and see the film!
But in my infinite wisdom I'd decided to open it up to others on the AV board
My Aspie friend then decided he didnt want to come as he wasn't that comfortable in groups
I felt guilty about changing the arrangement and wished I'd stuck to the original arrangement to be quite honest
as he was good company
Lee didnt stay after the film and when i asked him after what he'd thought of my Aspie bretheren (as I thought he might possibly have AS himself) he said 'They were like a cross between University Challenge and Monty Python' (a reference to Andrew and Philip I might add as Tom had trouble gettign a word in edgeways with these two witterign on about their f-ing statistics!
I had to lol at Lee's assessment, but it made me think he prob doesn't have AS as he evidently didnt feel he had much in common with them. I felt somewhat protective of them at this comment also tho - God knows why!
I also could have just gone home with Lee at this point but no, the masochist in me decided to soldier on....
Anyway, after Lee left, we had a drink in the bar there (and I mean A drink!)
I had alcohol, the other 3 had non-alcoholic drinks - I paid for the round
We never had another round.....
Apparently people were 'saving themselves' for the pub when we met up with the other 2 later
My meet evidently wasn't 'the main event' for them....
So we sit in the bar for a while and Andrew and Philip spend a fair amount of the time discussing stats regarding local councils, postal districts and crime rate statistics
I try to join in but it's pretty evident they arent that interested in my contributions
We did all converse with each other but there was a strong feeling coming off these 2 that they were finding each others' far better company than my own
The other member there was Tom, who is always good company imo
I was getting decidedly pissed off that we werent drinking and no one else had even offered to buy another round
After an hour or so of this, we had to catch a f-ing bus all the way back into B'ham to meet Mike (another good friend of mine, good bloke, won't have a word said against him) and David1978 - a close friend of Andrew and Mike
And, get this - they have come in the f-ing car!
So would it have killed them to get in said f-ing car and drive to meet US at the mac, as the whole plan initially intended???
When we'd done more of the f-ing incompetent dithering that was becoming a distinct feature of the day, we eventually located them at the station
In fact, the meet should have been called Birmingham New Street Station meet as we spent most of out f-ing time at the place!
David doesn't greet me in a friendly way, he says hello warily, with a f-ing 'what have we got here?!' type hostile frown on his face and said frown is to be seen on his face whenever I glance at him - like im evidently not what he expected
Nice, tolerant attitude he had going on there...
I might add, that with ALL the ASers Ive ever met, ALL have been extremely tolerant and nice. There's been the distinct lack of threat coming off them that I seem to feel when mixing with non-autistic people.
This David is definitely a different flava of Aser tho......make of that what you will
...Oh yes, and he's self-diagnosed
So my ego and nerves are taking a fair old shredding...
I'll do next part later - there's more!
