make someone laugh

[Peter]

In some instances, it seems the Asperger male (or female for that matter), is really no different from the neurotypical after all. The interest in porn is a perfect example. But the Asperger’s interest is not just about getting to rate the boobs of the day. The Asperger will use porn for academic purposes or to obsess with a particular body part that may be a special interest. If there were more doctorate programs in pornography, we’d have more Kinseys than we’d know what to do with. As the Asperger studies porn, he chooses to major in a particular area and ask such deep questions as,”How could a woman have such ripped abs?” if he is into muscular/bodybuilder/he-she like ladies. Some Aspies mistakenly think they can learn about relationships from porn, but soon realize there is nothing further from the truth. How on earth can they get to know each other? There’s never any talking going on in these things.

An HBO movie might incite statements from the neurotypical such as, “No way, man! No one has a penis that big,” or “How would you make a sex toy that big anyway?” This is where the Asperger, armed with all the information he has obtained from studying “101 Factos about sex toys”, comes in to rescue the undereducated and horny neurotypical. “The sex toys are made from molds of an actual penis. There is a clay mix you add water to and stir. It is similar to making dental casts. You can even order them online and mix them in your own kitchen with a regular bowl and spoon.”

At this point in the conversation, the neurotypical men mentally note: Dude, never eat at this guy’s house again!

“Once the mix is complete,” the Asperger continues, “you place the erect penis in the clay, allow it to cool, remove your penis, pour liquid into the mold, and ta da! You have created a dildo.”

The neurotypical men are having an extreme WTF moment now, probably due to both the Asperger’s explanation and the amount of alcohol consumed. This is obviously more than they signed up for when the rented Vicky Vixen. The insecure, jealous, and paranoid neurotypical will start to wonder and be convinced that the only way the Asperger could possibly know all this information is if he is the model on which all sex toys are crafted from. To this speculation, the Asperger will decide that some rumors are best left undenied.

[punkdrew]

This incident occurred during the filming of THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE (1936).

Michael Curtiz, the director of the film (best known for CASABLANCA), was Hungarian-born and, shall we say, somewhat English-challenged. So, to set up a scene in which a number of riderless horses were supposed to stampede--symbolizing the number of soldiers lost in this famously lopsided battle--Curtiz gave the order to "bring on the empty horses." Errol Flynn and David Niven, the stars of the film, practically died laughing.
Enraged, Curtiz yelled at them, "You and your stinking English! You think I know fuck nothing! Well, let me tell you--I know fuck all!!!"

[enronh]

 

[Pyraxis]

    Fractal Wrongness:

    The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person's worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person's worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

    Debating with a person who is fractally wrong leads to infinite regress, as every refutation you make of that person's opinions will lead to a rejoinder, full of half-truths, leaps of logic, and outright lies, that requires just as much refutation to debunk as the first one. It is as impossible to convince a fractally wrong person of anything as it is to walk around the edge of the Mandelbrot set in finite time.

    If you ever get embroiled in a discussion with a fractally wrong person on the Internet — in mailing lists, newsgroups, or website forums — your best bet is to say your piece once and ignore any replies, thus saving yourself time.

[RageBeoulve]

In some instances, it seems the Asperger male (or female for that matter), is really no different from the neurotypical after all. The interest in porn is a perfect example. But the Asperger’s interest is not just about getting to rate the boobs of the day. The Asperger will use porn for academic purposes or to obsess with a particular body part that may be a special interest. If there were more doctorate programs in pornography, we’d have more Kinseys than we’d know what to do with. As the Asperger studies porn, he chooses to major in a particular area and ask such deep questions as,”How could a woman have such ripped abs?” if he is into muscular/bodybuilder/he-she like ladies. Some Aspies mistakenly think they can learn about relationships from porn, but soon realize there is nothing further from the truth. How on earth can they get to know each other? There’s never any talking going on in these things.

An HBO movie might incite statements from the neurotypical such as, “No way, man! No one has a penis that big,” or “How would you make a sex toy that big anyway?” This is where the Asperger, armed with all the information he has obtained from studying “101 Factos about sex toys”, comes in to rescue the undereducated and horny neurotypical. “The sex toys are made from molds of an actual penis. There is a clay mix you add water to and stir. It is similar to making dental casts. You can even order them online and mix them in your own kitchen with a regular bowl and spoon.”

At this point in the conversation, the neurotypical men mentally note: Dude, never eat at this guy’s house again!

“Once the mix is complete,” the Asperger continues, “you place the erect penis in the clay, allow it to cool, remove your penis, pour liquid into the mold, and ta da! You have created a dildo.”

The neurotypical men are having an extreme WTF moment now, probably due to both the Asperger’s explanation and the amount of alcohol consumed. This is obviously more than they signed up for when the rented Vicky Vixen. The insecure, jealous, and paranoid neurotypical will start to wonder and be convinced that the only way the Asperger could possibly know all this information is if he is the model on which all sex toys are crafted from. To this speculation, the Asperger will decide that some rumors are best left undenied.

Ha.. haha HAHAHA! Oh man. Thanks for that one peter. I laughed and laughed.

[duncvis]

    Fractal Wrongness:

    The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person's worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person's worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

    Debating with a person who is fractally wrong leads to infinite regress, as every refutation you make of that person's opinions will lead to a rejoinder, full of half-truths, leaps of logic, and outright lies, that requires just as much refutation to debunk as the first one. It is as impossible to convince a fractally wrong person of anything as it is to walk around the edge of the Mandelbrot set in finite time.

    If you ever get embroiled in a discussion with a fractally wrong person on the Internet — in mailing lists, newsgroups, or website forums — your best bet is to say your piece once and ignore any replies, thus saving yourself time.

quoted for aptness.  :lol:

[Pyraxis]

I thought some people might recognize it. 

[El]

I thought some people might recognize it. 

I thought it was good, but where's it from?

[RageBeoulve]

I'm lovin it.

[Peter]

    Fractal Wrongness:

    The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person's worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person's worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

    Debating with a person who is fractally wrong leads to infinite regress, as every refutation you make of that person's opinions will lead to a rejoinder, full of half-truths, leaps of logic, and outright lies, that requires just as much refutation to debunk as the first one. It is as impossible to convince a fractally wrong person of anything as it is to walk around the edge of the Mandelbrot set in finite time.

    If you ever get embroiled in a discussion with a fractally wrong person on the Internet — in mailing lists, newsgroups, or website forums — your best bet is to say your piece once and ignore any replies, thus saving yourself time.

I knew some fractally wrong Jehova's witnesses.  Whenever I debunked one piece of nonsense, it was 'vindicated' by the next layer of nonsense.  Just about every aspect of their understanding of the universe was wrong, and it made it impossible to demonstrate to them the wrongness of any one part of their mental model of reality.

[RageBeoulve]

    Fractal Wrongness:

    The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person's worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person's worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

    Debating with a person who is fractally wrong leads to infinite regress, as every refutation you make of that person's opinions will lead to a rejoinder, full of half-truths, leaps of logic, and outright lies, that requires just as much refutation to debunk as the first one. It is as impossible to convince a fractally wrong person of anything as it is to walk around the edge of the Mandelbrot set in finite time.

    If you ever get embroiled in a discussion with a fractally wrong person on the Internet — in mailing lists, newsgroups, or website forums — your best bet is to say your piece once and ignore any replies, thus saving yourself time.

I knew some fractally wrong Jehova's witnesses.  Whenever I debunked one piece of nonsense, it was 'vindicated' by the next layer of nonsense.  Just about every aspect of their understanding of the universe was wrong, and it made it impossible to demonstrate to them the wrongness of any one part of their mental model of reality.

Oh now I understand. You mean someone with blinders on.

[Natalia Evans]

This cracked me up.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4732283/4/How_Benny_Found_Out

Ben came into work very moody. He secretly wanted to rip Sam’s head off for impregnating his Sister, but refrain knowing how much it would hurt Joon if he killed Sam. Plus, he wasn’t really up for going to jail.

Once he saw Mike that was it, it was time to talk bad about Sam behind his back. “ Mike?” Ben yelled.

Mike was on break and said “ Ben, remember this is my break time.”

Ben said “ I know. I’m not trying to get you back to work, I need to talk to you.”

Ben sat down beside Mike and said “ Well, that stupid cousin of your knows how to do one thing right.”

“ What could he possibly do right? He can’t even read.” Mike said.

“ He knows how to have sex.” Ben said.

Mike replied shocked “ Ben, please back away from me. I didn’t know you were gay.”

Ben laughed and said “ No, I’m not gay. He knocked Joon up.”

“ What, he couldn’t possibly and Joon wouldn’t have sex with the housekeeper!” Mike said.

Ben said “ Well, apparently for six months she has been sleeping with Sam behind my back.”

“ Ben, you got to know she is a grown woman and saying that she has been sleeping with him behind your back makes you sound like your into incest.” Mike said.

“ Mike, your sick. I’m just trying to protect her is all and obliviously that failed because Joon is going to be a Mother.” Ben said.

“ What she’s keeping it?!” Mike said.

“ Yes.” Ben said.

“ She is really crazy.” Mike said, only to receive a dirty look from Ben.

Then Ben left and got to work.

[DirtDawg]

I went for beer and when I left, I noticed my, arguably-brighter-than-the-average-lamppost, youngish neighbor was toiling with the frozen snow that covered his car.

I returned to find he had not made any headway, but had shed his jacket.  It's not really cold, but well below freezing, after a day of rain, then snow followed by rapidly falling temperatures.

This punk had placed a special -made carpet remnant that he had cut to fit perfectly around his windshield and doors, presumably to make getting away quickly in the snow legions easier. It was frozen solidly into a crystalline rock which made it nearly impossible for him to breach the interior. He only had one small corner pried loose after half an hour. I discovered this and told him that the only way he will get that thing off was to start the car and allow it to warm up from the inside, but his (only other access) hatchback was broken and would NOT open.




Don't ever do that in Indiana. The horrible orchestra that becomes Indiana weather is NOT just one solo instrument.



He's going to be over an hour late to party with his friends.

[Pyraxis]

I thought some people might recognize it. 

I thought it was good, but where's it from?

I meant recognize people to whom it applies.

I don't know the source. I spent a few minutes trying to google it, because it's quoted in lots of places, but there were no references to an original.

[RageBeoulve]

I went for beer and when I left, I noticed my, arguably-brighter-than-the-average-lamppost, youngish neighbor was toiling with the frozen snow that covered his car.

I returned to find he had not made any headway, but had shed his jacket.  It's not really cold, but well below freezing, after a day of rain, then snow followed by rapidly falling temperatures.

This punk had placed a special -made carpet remnant that he had cut to fit perfectly around his windshield and doors, presumably to make getting away quickly in the snow legions easier. It was frozen solidly into a crystalline rock which made it nearly impossible for him to breach the interior. He only had one small corner pried loose after half an hour. I discovered this and told him that the only way he will get that thing off was to start the car and allow it to warm up from the inside, but his (only other access) hatchback was broken and would NOT open.




Don't ever do that in Indiana. The horrible orchestra that becomes Indiana weather is NOT just one solo instrument.



He's going to be over an hour late to party with his friends.

You caught my attention because you said indiana. I cannot bring myself to read your big post though. I am in an angry mood, and I am spastically doing pushups and situps, based on the adrenaline pumping through my veins at any given moment. Can you give me a summary?