We're in second grade and the teacher has a book clear full of lessons on etiquette, except that they are all presented as sarcastic, reverse advice. Here's the phone etiquette, example. I think it's very funny, but I'm not a fan of using this kind of irony as a teaching tool on a seven year old autistic child. Damage control has already started, but anyway, laugh it up.
Excerpt from "Don't Forget Your Etiquette!" by David Greenberg
Merely saying a short, "Hello"
Has such a commonplace tone,
So here's a list of stylish ways,
For you to answer the phone.
Try lifting up the mouthpiece
And giving it a slurp,
Then speak into the receviver
With a sharp explosive burp!
Answer with a juicy snort
Instead of simply speaking
Or swing the phone around your head
While mysteriously squeaking.
Daintily hoist the receiver,
Then graceful as a swan,
Drop it down the kitchen sink
And turn the disposal on.
Answer the phone with baby talk
Or an agonizing groan.
Train your dog to grab one end
And gnaw it like a bone.
Throw it like a boomerang,
Bake it in a pie,
Or do the whole thing backwards-
And answer with "Goodbye!"
