Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138417 times)

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Offline odeon

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #270 on: December 04, 2006, 05:10:13 PM »
I like the part about not bothering him with what your day's been like cos it can't be that important anyway. :laugh:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #271 on: December 04, 2006, 05:40:38 PM »

How did these fifties women put up with it?

They took it for a few years and started burning their bras and wearing boots.

Coincidentally, I latched onto a good sized book, at an antique shop, from the turn of the previous century which is basically the same theme. It includes dressing in circa 1900 feminine finery, proper dietary considerations women should make, maintaining a home, full chapters on proper lady-like behavior for various situations. I only skimmed through it, but it is such an "out of touch with reality" volume, I couldn't resist buying it. Open any chapter and you will laugh, before you finish one page.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2006, 05:53:47 PM by DirtDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #272 on: December 04, 2006, 05:48:38 PM »

How did these fifties women put up with it?

They took it for a few years and started burning their bras and wearing boots.

I thought about burning my bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.

 :laugh:

Offline odeon

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #273 on: December 04, 2006, 05:54:30 PM »
I thought about burning my bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.

 :laugh:

Put it out? You're not supposed to put it out if you burn it as a protest, ya know. :laugh:

+
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

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ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #274 on: December 04, 2006, 06:01:22 PM »

How did these fifties women put up with it?

They took it for a few years and started burning their bras and wearing boots.

I thought about burning my bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.

 :laugh:

 :LMAO:  I can imagine the glow would have been visible for miles! :eyebrows:

+

Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #275 on: December 04, 2006, 06:03:10 PM »
Shouldn't the thought count for more than a number?
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

Offline odeon

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #276 on: December 05, 2006, 02:30:41 AM »
Shouldn't the thought count for more than a number?

A letter? :P
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline McGiver

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #277 on: December 05, 2006, 07:31:12 AM »
Shouldn't the thought count for more than a number?

no, i like numbers.

actions speak louder than words.  if you click it then i will be grateful, a +1 lie, well then i am saddened.
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Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #278 on: December 05, 2006, 02:01:59 PM »
Assume that I +1ed you and somebody else -1'd you at the same time.  I didn't think you'd pay enough attention to the number to know whether or not I really did.
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #279 on: December 05, 2006, 02:06:31 PM »
Did you see the one that said not to complain or question him if he was home late for dinner or even if he stayed out all night long?

Nonsense!  How was a wife expected to have dinner waiting for him if she had no idea of when he was coming home?

If he stayed out all night long unexpectedly and she said nothing, he might get the idea that she did not even care about his well-being at all.

How did these fifties women put up with it?

They were chained to the stove and got five across the eyes if they left it.  8)

Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #280 on: December 05, 2006, 02:09:13 PM »
Did you see the one that said not to complain or question him if he was home late for dinner or even if he stayed out all night long?

Nonsense!  How was a wife expected to have dinner waiting for him if she had no idea of when he was coming home?

If he stayed out all night long unexpectedly and she said nothing, he might get the idea that she did not even care about his well-being at all.

How did these fifties women put up with it?

They were chained to the stove and got five across the eyes if they left it.  8)

I'm picturing you chained to something right now.   >:D

Litigious

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #281 on: December 05, 2006, 02:10:45 PM »
Oh, don't get me wrong. I just wish that faith to narcissistic NT bitches.  8)

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #282 on: December 05, 2006, 02:24:47 PM »
Time for a Cristmas story:

Not long ago and far away,  Santa was getting ready for his annual trip....but there were problems everywhere.  Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

The Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.  This stressed Santa even more.  When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.  More stress!

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.  Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.  When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink.  In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.  He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbel rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.  He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.  The  angel said:  "Where would you like to put this tree fat man?"

And that, boys and girls, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas Tree!

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #283 on: December 05, 2006, 02:27:07 PM »
We don't have angels on top of the Christmas trees in Sweden, we have a Christmas star. And it's a tradition not to buy the tree but to steal it, at least if you live in the countryside or a suburb. And that's not even a joke.  8)

Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #284 on: December 05, 2006, 02:47:03 PM »
Another funny story:  Pearly Gates

A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.  "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.  I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!" 

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago..."