Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138425 times)

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Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1695 on: November 09, 2007, 06:07:48 AM »
Can't anybody take a good picture of him every one I see in the news makes me want to laugh

Gods, he looks like shit now.
It's not a good job.

It looks like it was photoshopped but I got it straight from yahoo news
He is looking bad Chaney must be sucking extra blood out these days :P
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1696 on: November 09, 2007, 08:30:15 AM »
Positions of constant stress do that.

I remember seeing Lee before and
after the war. Huge difference. And
that was just four years. He went from
looking like a middle aged man (which is what
he was) to the old grandfather figure we're used
to.

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1697 on: November 09, 2007, 12:37:18 PM »

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1698 on: November 09, 2007, 09:05:04 PM »

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1699 on: November 09, 2007, 09:26:43 PM »

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1700 on: November 09, 2007, 10:20:47 PM »
A cross between Star Trek: First Contact, 300 and The Goonies...


Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1701 on: November 09, 2007, 11:12:31 PM »


« Last Edit: November 10, 2007, 12:43:10 AM by renaeden »
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Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1702 on: November 09, 2007, 11:37:55 PM »


Yes and it's even worse when you are trying to sift through the phone menus at an insurance company. That is actually important that they get it right, but they don't really give a shit!
The best way to do this, is to just start mashing numbers, and they'll think you're a retard and get you directly to a person.  The other thing to do is to start yelling at the recorded voice, I know it sounds stupid, but they actually monitor your voice for signs of aggravation.

I was paying a utility bill over the telephone using their automated system, which I do all the time.

Suddenly for no reason that I could see, it hooked me up with a real person.

This real person told me that the quickest way to get a person when dealing with an automated system is to swear at it.  The voice recognition software is programmed to immediately connect you with a real person if you say a swear word.

I did not swear, however.

 :laugh:

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1703 on: November 10, 2007, 01:13:16 AM »





Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1704 on: November 10, 2007, 09:42:33 AM »
There once was a necrophile, a fetishist, a sadist, a masochist, a zoophile and a coprophile and they were bored.
So the zoophile said: Hey guys, let's fuck a cat!
Everyone was thinking it was a little odd til' the necrophile said: And then we kill it and fuck it again!
The sadist said: But before we kill it we torture it!
The coprophile said: And then we take a dump on it!
The fetishist giggled and said: I want to make a fur of it after we're done!
Everyone was excited by this idea, but then realised the masochist hadn't said anything, so they asked what he thought about this whole idea.
The masochist answered: Meow?
LOL!!!!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1705 on: November 11, 2007, 01:13:47 AM »


And some  Universal Truths
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) the most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) the most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1706 on: November 11, 2007, 02:13:19 AM »


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Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1707 on: November 11, 2007, 06:26:02 AM »
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

What if they're carrying a rottweiler?
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1708 on: November 11, 2007, 07:16:20 AM »
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
What if they're carrying a rottweiler?
In that case respect would be because the man is able to carry a rottweiler. (not a puppy)



Aaaand that is a list I copied. I thought it was  funny.
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Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1709 on: November 11, 2007, 08:07:34 AM »
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
What if they're carrying a rottweiler?
In that case respect would be because the man is able to carry a rottweiler. (not a puppy)

How much respect would an adult great Dane get me?
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?