New drugs from doctor?

[Sophgay]

we move in a couple years i think
hopefully the house will be bigger
my stepdad's a doctor so we should be rich but we're not lol
having my own bathroom would be better
sophie had ocd and she used to use the shower in her mom's room, because no one else used it
the germs one definitely needs to go - it just gets worse and worse, so i come up with new things i can do to stop i, but im running out of idea now

i just had about 8 or 9 hours sleep anyway
i had  dream i got lost at the library because i went a different way than usual because i was rushing

it really sucks though because it will screw me up when im olde if it carries on
i had to take my ocd into account when i was choosing which units to do at university
i wanted to do the russian and soviet one last year, but didn't becuase i was already in that morning and would have been in from 9-4 or something, and so i would have probably needed the toilet and don't like public toilets. and now sophie has gone, i want to do that unit even more

plus how can i get a job while i'm like this/?
it's have to be somewhere clean and for only few hours
and that's just my ocd, my AS and SAD brings up a shitload of other problems for jobs too
but im already a burden on my family, my mum does about as much for me as she does for my brothers, and im nearly 20

and if i ever live on my own, i wouldnt be able to clean a bathroom
but i cant afford a fucking slave

[Sophgay]

and they are going to disneyland in a week or so
my mum doesnt trust me at home on my own because id leave the door open at night (no i wouldn't - i never go out), or the oven on (no i wouldn;t, i dont even know how to work the oven), or i wouldnt eat all week (i would eat crisps and stuf at least) and things like that. so im going to stay at my nanas

its only 5 minuts away and i used to live there when i was younger (my mum didnt have enough money so i lived with her and my grandparents), but this will disrupt my whole routine
she knows that but she thinks its best that i go
my nana has ocd i think lol, so the bathroom is clean and stuff, but still
and i dont have enough long-sleeved clothes atm which is another problem
its easy to hide my left arm here, and just put aomething else on when i go downstairs, its going to be a lot harder there

[SovaNu]

can you go shopping for clothes or ask your mom to? to get you more shirts with long sleeves. you could ask for a couple of hoodies or something that has guaranteedly long sleeves, so you won't have to ask for long sleeves.

also wash all your long sleeved ones and take them all with.

sounds like your mom has a little OCD too cuz she's paranoid about how you'll cope alone.

i can't go to school either like this, cuz i can't use the toilet. not to mention the other problems. could you take online courses? mom enrolled me in some online college. i'll have to take a course there to get credentials so i can work independently when mom can no longer take care of me. i dunno how i could make it on my own but she needs hope for the future lol.

as for bathroom cleaning i have trouble with that too, i clean before i'm gonna take a shower so i won't feel that icky. it's still hard.

i don't really clean all of it, only the places i touch like the seat of the toilet and the floor where i walk and the sink.

[Sophgay]

I should buy some clothes online
If I can find my debit card I could do that
I think my mum has my card
If I went out to buy clothes with her, she woukldn't let me get the stuff I want, she'd drag me in girls shops and get me buying shit I'd hate

When I finish uni I might do an online course
I like being able to go to uni still though because I can go to the library and the museum
That's the only time I actually go out

I can only think of a few things I have tht have long sleeves
The one I'm wearing now, my black shirt, my stripy shirt and another shirt I don't know the colour of
ACtually I forgot about my hoodies, I have a lot of them
I'll put them in the washing later

[Sophgay]

i don't really clean all of it, only the places i touch like the seat of the toilet and the floor where i walk and the sink.

I put towels on the floor so I on't have to touch it

So my mum has loads of towels and clothes to clean all the time though
I use about 4 or 5 towels each time, so that's a lot added up

[SovaNu]

i don't really clean all of it, only the places i touch like the seat of the toilet and the floor where i walk and the sink.

I put towels on the floor so I on't have to touch it

So my mum has loads of towels and clothes to clean all the time though
I use about 4 or 5 towels each time, so that's a lot added up

maybe you could get a mop or one of those things with disposable paper or cloth towels wrapped around the mop thing, to clean the floor.

[SovaNu]

or you could maybe get some antibacterial spray and get some paper towels. i spray the floor and then wipe it with paper and then i wash my hands and that's it. i often do it before the shower. esp. to clean the floor near the toilet.

[Sophgay]

i'm probably too much of a coward
i spend as little time as possible in the bathroom
toilet, shower, brush teeth etc and go lol

[SovaNu]

would it make a difference if it was your own bathroom?

[Sophgay]

i'd probably still want someone else to clean it

I want a shower in a different room to the toilet

it's fucking annoying

it means my hair is wet nearly alll the time
which will suck when i have to go back to uni as i'll have to dry it somehow

[El]

JLPMSElle has awesome ideas. Especially with sleep. Have to try some of those things myself. I also get tired mid-afternoon but I am now trying to stay up all day so then I sleep better at night. I find that the more tired I am when I go to bed at night, the less I dream. I have vivid bad dreams so I don't like to dream anymore.

I don't know much about OCD but I think you can be given practical things to do everyday by a counselor or something so you can distract yourself from doing OCD things. And not all counseling is the same.

It's good you went out with your brother, that kind of thing is small but it can help.

This didn't occur to me 'till just now- if you actually did a little exercise at that time, it might also perk you up a bit (even just a couple miinutes of jumprope).

And yes- the B in CBT means that it's not just talk therapy; it's cognitive behavioral therapy.  (No, it's really not programming you, but yes, it's in part behavioral.)  Talk therapy without any action/homework/anything like that helps some with soem problems, but as far as OCD goes, talk therapy alone prolly won't do a hell of a lot, from what I understand.  Also, I have to wonder if if Soph reduced her OCD, it would give her a sense of mastery that might make the depression a little less severe- feeling helpless to an illness is certainly depressing.

Not to go all flo on you guys, lol.  I'm not anti-med so much as pro-try-non-med-stuff-too-if-you-can.

[Sophgay]

Yeah the OCD makes things a million times harder for me to get rid of the depression
I've been doing a lot to get less depressed, but the OCD always fucks it up, no matter how hard I try

My mum says I need to exercise more
There's a hereditary thing I'm going to get
Like osteoarthritis or something
So my bones will be fucked up if I live long

[Christopher McCandless]

and they are going to disneyland in a week or so
my mum doesnt trust me at home on my own because id leave the door open at night (no i wouldn't - i never go out), or the oven on (no i wouldn;t, i dont even know how to work the oven), or i wouldnt eat all week (i would eat crisps and stuf at least) and things like that. so im going to stay at my nanas

its only 5 minuts away and i used to live there when i was younger (my mum didnt have enough money so i lived with her and my grandparents), but this will disrupt my whole routine
she knows that but she thinks its best that i go
my nana has ocd i think lol, so the bathroom is clean and stuff, but still
and i dont have enough long-sleeved clothes atm which is another problem
its easy to hide my left arm here, and just put aomething else on when i go downstairs, its going to be a lot harder there

Maybe you should put your foot down here. Your mum can always get your nanna to visit you and check up on you....

[Sophgay]

I tried
She won't let me 

[Alex179]

You are going to have to make some sort of changes if you want to live on your own for an extended period of time.   The not being able to clean a bathroom thing isn't good.  You just need to take meds and do something like CBT as mentioned before.   Then you can work on doing stuff like cleaning a bathroom in case you ever have to live alone.   If you are afraid of making appointments with a doctor, have a family member or friend make the appointment for you.