Greetings. Though you do not realize it, I am actually a frequent poster at this site and am familiar with most of you. Who am I, you ask? Ha ha. Don't ask that; I won't tell you. I've been forced to hide my identity because of various imaginary threats that have been made to me anonymously from someone here. At first, I thought it was funny and didn't see any way that this mysterious, nonexistent person would be able to hurt me. However, I realize that I may have subconsciously implanted clues as to my real name and whereabouts into my username and profile when I registered - something that the potential stalker, who is a figment of my imagination, may be all too aware of.
The result is that I must now post among you as a stranger. Please go about your normal activities just as if you knew who I was. I assure you that I am one of you and I have had many interesting conversations with a good percentage of the members here; why, if I wasn't trying to remain anonymous I might go as far as to say that you'd previously recognized me as the most interesting, modest, and altogether intelligent and level-headed person on the board. This might, in fact, be why I have acquired an imaginary stalker, while the rest of you continue to spark no interest in ANY pretend sociopaths... How lucky you are.
Sincerely,
A Mysterious Person