Ask me anything

[Triste]

How did you first find out about AS?
How old were you at the time?

[hiroshima]

I first discovered AS when my son was 3 (I was 25) and someone (a non-professional) told me my son had it and that I needed to get him services.  I asked to see the description of the disorder and upon reading it I told this person that if my son had AS then I did too, as it described me to a T.

I did have my son evaluated and was told he was autistic & in dire need of services (I never got him any, as they wanted to medicate him at age 3).

Then later at a depersonalization disorder support board the topic (of AS) was brought up and I began to put all the pieces together, and later I learned that feelings of dissociation are common among people with AS.

I had diagnosed myself with Depersonalization Disorder before discovering AS as this is one of my strongest "symptoms" since the age of 12 or so.  Now I believe it is a byproduct of AS (for me, at any rate).

[hiroshima]

Shima, i love you.

did you know that?

Me too, to you.

Yes.

Does your wife know?

[hiroshima]

Have you ever wished you could have taken another path in life? And if so what would that path be?

If I thought in this manner I would drive myself mad from grief, regret, and guilt, so I will have to say "no."

[McGiver]

i think she suspects, its always oh shima this, shima that, did you know she changed her name to hiro shima.

you know?

[hiroshima]

i think she suspects, its always oh shima this, shima that, did you know she changed her name to hiro shima.

you know?

She understands that it's our own special brand of love, right, and not a threat to the stability of your union?

[Triste]

Can you explain how DPD affects you on a day-to-day basis?  Having never experienced it, I find it hard to imagine.  Is it what makes you special?

[McGiver]

i think she suspects, its always oh shima this, shima that, did you know she changed her name to hiro shima.

you know?

She understands that it's our own special brand of love, right, and not a threat to the stability of your union?

yes the deep eternal respect kind, the kind not available to married couples>

[hiroshima]

It makes me feel stoned 24/7 .  Or slightly drunk.  Or like I'm trapped in a dream.  Which for short periods of time might be enjoyable but this is a very black and scary feeling.

I "feel like a robot" and like I'm not attached to my body... also visually I perceive things as wavy and lucid, like a Van Gogh painting.  Sometimes people will look like mannequins or holograms... it feels like nothing is real sometimes.

I don't know what makes me special.  Maybe it is AS as everyone I see on the AS boards seems very very very special in their own right.   Even, or especially, the evil ones.

[Triste]

Wow.  That must be really difficult.  Have you always had this?  When did you notice that other people didn't have this way of being?

Have you checked out Irlen lenses?  They might help your visual processing.  Here's the website, courtesy of Renaeden:  http://www.irlen.com/index_autism.html

[Pyraxis]

Did the DP just start out of nowhere, or was it caused by any particular event(s)?

[Draggon]

Religion: apathetic, agnostic, atheist, believer?
Do you believe in a higher power?
If so what made you believe in it, what form do you think it takes, what makes you believe it takes that particular form?
If not, how do you feel about the people who do believe, whats your general attitude towards them?

[hiroshima]

Wow.  That must be really difficult.  Have you always had this?  When did you notice that other people didn't have this way of being?

I've been this way since I was 12.  I knew other people didn't feel this way, as I could remember not feeling that way.

[hiroshima]

Did the DP just start out of nowhere, or was it caused by any particular event(s)?

It hit me one day when I was walking to school.  One moment I was "there," the next moment I was "gone."

[hiroshima]

Religion: apathetic, agnostic, atheist, believer?
Do you believe in a higher power?
If so what made you believe in it, what form do you think it takes, what makes you believe it takes that particular form?
If not, how do you feel about the people who do believe, whats your general attitude towards them?

Apathetic/ agnostic/ former religious fanatic.  I get religious obsessions.  I've converted to a few different religions in my life.

Yes.

It hit me in 1997, I "felt" God's presence and then I started a new religious obsession.  I think God is present as a benevolent life-force that manifests itself through humans in acts of kindness.

I figure religion is like sexuality... you just have to leave people alone and let them do their thing.