Poke my brains a bit...

[Lucifer]

Where is your ask thread, Lucifer?

And why haven't you been asking me questions?

Do you abhor me?....do I smell funny.....like a pair of clown shoes with Christmas crackers in them?

i haven't got an ask thread, jizz, my little blossom, so you'll have to ask me stuff by PM, or something. 

but i do rather detest the vile and putrid phenomenon which is Lynx, in all its horror.  so, i can't ask you questions, cos you smell of Lynx, and cos i don't trust myself not to end up in a pool of my own desire just cogitating upon you, let alone having your attention directed on me, and me alone.  it would All Be Too Much for me.

besides, odeon will get jealous, and there's nothing worse than a Swede with his dander up, and his Abba primed and ready to go off at any moment.  nasty...  shudder...

[Jizz]

I think you're mixing up your definitions of the word swoon there:

Swoon- –verb (used without object)
1.   to faint; lose consciousness.
2.   to enter a state of hysterical rapture or ecstasy: The teenagers swooned at the sight of the singing star.
–noun
3.   a faint or fainting fit; syncope.

I think you'll find it was the first definition your 'manly' odour was causing.

I never pretned to be clever though.

Who was it that said something along the lines of "true wisdom comes from admitting that you know nothing"?

Was something like that.

I must be a genius then because I know fuck all about everything.

[Jizz]

Where is your ask thread, Lucifer?

And why haven't you been asking me questions?

Do you abhor me?....do I smell funny.....like a pair of clown shoes with Christmas crackers in them?

i haven't got an ask thread, jizz, my little blossom, so you'll have to ask me stuff by PM, or something. 

but i do rather detest the vile and putrid phenomenon which is Lynx, in all its horror.  so, i can't ask you questions, cos you smell of Lynx, and cos i don't trust myself not to end up in a pool of my own desire just cogitating upon you, let alone having your attention directed on me, and me alone.  it would All Be Too Much for me.

besides, odeon will get jealous, and there's nothing worse than a Swede with his dander up, and his Abba primed and ready to go off at any moment.  nasty...  shudder...

OI! There's no need for such sarcasm!!!

I don;t really wear Lynx I just said it because it was a line in an Alan Partirdge episode when he was chatting with another business type guy called Dan who drove a Rover Lexus ("lexii...plural")....don't ask.

I have two Sure roll ons though, but I dunno what kind they are. Anything is better than stinking of man sweat...even Lynx is better, whether it's for neds/chavs or not.

Would you prefer I smelled of wet digestive biscuits?

[Lucifer]

i'd prefer you to smell of just your own sweet you-ness, my dove.  oh, and i like Thin Lizzy too - do i get cred points or something for that?

[Jizz]

I just gave you a YAY.....what is your favourite song...and I want album title too...none of this "oh that song about the boys coming back home to town" vague nonsense.

I want a certain "FUCK YEAH FATS FROM THE RENEGADE ALBUM IS UTTER CLASS...SIMILAR TO DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT FROM THE BAD ATTITUDE* ALBUM BUT STILL EXCELLENT!""



*What a fucking twat for typing that wrong!

[Lucifer]

more than happy to oblige:

FUCK YEAH FATS FROMT HE RENEGADE ALBUM IS UTTER CLASS...SIMILAR TO DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT FROM THE BAD ATTITUDE ALBUM BUT STILL EXCELLENT!

how's that?  i aim to please.   

[Jizz]

I detect just a touch of sarcasm....I feel my mouse hover over the ghey option.

I joke of course!

[Lucifer]

oh, but i'd be gay for you, jizz my lamb.

and if you can work out all the convoluted double meanings in that statement, then i can see why HG thinks you're great... 

[Jizz]

I don't do puzzles.

Best be straight down the line with me then I can understand you easier

So what exactly did you mean then? Did you mean that you want to dress me as a schoolgirl and have some sort of evil twisted sex game with me?

That sounds like the kind of thing you'd see on Euro Trash?! lol.

[Lucifer]

and here, ladies and gentlemen, we have the uncensored version of Jizz's deepest and most treasured fantasies, whatever he says about bottles and hats.

Jizz, how i admire you for daring to make public your innermost depravities.  truly, you must have a picture of Dorian Jizz in your attic, you bloom-faced youth.

and gods, you look good with pigtails and freckles.



 

[Jizz]

Hehe, I actually don't like pigtals...ask Andriea.

I grilled her one night because she likes them. Pony tails all the damn way BEBBEH!!!

And in all honesty, you haven't even scraped the surface of the inner working of my brains!!!!

Nice try though lol

[Lucifer]

wasn't yer brain i was busy scraping the inner workings of, while i distracted you with thoughts of freckles, "babbeh"... 

yee and, indeed, haw!

[duncvis]

I just gave you a YAY.....what is your favourite song...and I want album title too...none of this "oh that song about the boys coming back home to town" vague nonsense.

I want a certain "FUCK YEAH FATS FROM THE RENEGADE ALBUM IS UTTER CLASS...SIMILAR TO DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT FROM THE BAD ATTITUDE ALBUM BUT STILL EXCELLENT!""

you mean Bad Reputation, surely?

good album. I used to have it on vinyl ages ago, but I lost it.

[Jizz]

I'm thinking about Deep Purple....you know when I typed that I thought "this is wrong!" lol

I am fucking ashamed, honestly lol.

AARGH I AM ASHAMED ASHAMED ASHAMED

iI'm going to edit my post so YOU look like you're lying and not me!

I'm thinking of the damn Deep Purple song! AAARGH, I always do that.

Right now I have Orion by Metallica on!


I fucking hate making mistakes when it comes to music...especially when it's something I fucking adore!

That's it Duncvis, how dare you make a pure tit of me on the net...where do you live, I'm coming round for a fucking punch up! lol

ARRRGH BASTARDS EVERYONE IS A BASTARD INCLUDING ME...AND EVEN MY MUM!

Luci, use some cake to poke my brains and you'll get some non aggressive stuff from me....dont use Battenburg though because it's too sweet and gives me toothache these days.

I honestly am ashamed of myself about getting that fucking Thin Lizzy thing wrong..................one of me favourite damn bands!!!

I DESERVE LOTS OF GHEYS FOR THAT ONE! lol

[Lucifer]

oh, but i really like Deep Purple.  i even have a glenn hughes' solo album.