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Author Topic: How to not get a date  (Read 1180 times)

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Offline Mr Smith

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How to not get a date
« on: October 13, 2007, 07:18:51 AM »
Post your anti dating ads here.
Here's mine

I am 22 years old, but have the mind of a 12 year old. I have terrible mood swings, abysmal self esteem and shit genes. I am intollerant of people, and I cannot spell. I have hardly any hobbies or friends so I just whore the internet. I cannot concerntrate on anything whether I like it or not. My room is a mess and my organisational skills are appalling.

I have a bad anger problem which will probably result in a person getting punched in the face one day. I don't get along with internet people very well, and I like to eat sweet foods.
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The_P

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2007, 07:44:28 AM »
Quote from: fatty mcblob on October 13, 2007, 07:18:51 AM
Post your anti dating ads here.
Here's mine

I am 22 years old, but have the mind of a 12 year old. I have terrible mood swings, abysmal self esteem and shit genes. I am intollerant of people, and I cannot spell. I have hardly any hobbies or friends so I just whore the internet. I cannot concerntrate on anything whether I like it or not. My room is a mess and my organisational skills are appalling.

I have a bad anger problem which will probably result in a person getting punched in the face one day. I don't get along with internet people very well, and I like to eat sweet foods.

Was that an actual ad or just a joke?
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Offline Christopher McCandless

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2007, 07:45:49 AM »
Cal's OK Cupid profile was better...
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Offline Calandale

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2007, 07:49:37 AM »
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Offline El

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2007, 11:20:03 AM »
WF, 21, career-bound, keeps in shape, will make you laugh, will make you cry, kills after mating.

Seeking:  SM or SF with low pain tolerance, hemophiliacs.
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Quote from: odeon on April 30, 2010, 01:35:57 AM
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
Quote from: Lit on November 02, 2013, 10:24:49 AM
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
Quote from: ProfessorFarnsworth on September 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
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Offline Randy

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2007, 11:43:06 AM »
Ok, someone needs some personal devolpement, ie Calandale.  You relax first then you call, its that simple, well it is for me.  Is that what happens with you?

Concentrate on brining people up, and people will like you.  I am guess the opposite is true, but I could be wrong.  That would scare many away, only those who are truly strong with a heart of gold will approach. 
I would!  That is normal!  Sometimes its them and not you.
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Biggest bullshitter on the web, the person who is says that is a jealous wanker who needs some personal devolpement.

Spread your legs woman!

Offline jman

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2007, 01:02:50 PM »
Quote
I am 22 years old, but have the mind of a 12 year old.

but you're still sexy...


Quote
I have terrible mood swings, abysmal self esteem and shit genes.

but you're still sexy, so your genes aren't all bad...

Quote
I am intollerant of people, and I cannot spell.

and you're still sexy..

Quote
I have hardly any hobbies or friends so I just whore the internet.

Whats wrong with that? What authrority says you need friends and hobbies, did I mention you're sexy?


Quote
I cannot concerntrate on anything whether I like it or not. My room is a mess and my organisational skills are appalling.

Same here and yet you're still sexy




Quote
I have a bad anger problem which will probably result in a person getting punched in the face one day.

Kinky..

I have a thing for S &M


Quote
I don't get along with internet people very well,

What are "internet people"?

Quote
I like to eat sweet foods.

Who doesn't?


Based on this post and the fact that you are physically attractive (read sexy) you are the classic defintion of a high maintenance chick, but I think alot of aspie chicks are.  oh........  and you're sexy :P *clears throat*
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Offline jman

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2007, 01:07:03 PM »
Quote from: PMS Elle on October 13, 2007, 11:20:03 AM
WF, 21, career-bound, keeps in shape, will make you laugh, will make you cry, kills after mating.

Seeking:  SM or SF with low pain tolerance, hemophiliacs.


awesome! where and how do I sign up?
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Offline Alex179

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2007, 03:00:36 PM »
haha jman

Yes Fatty is very hot, so she can use that to counter her self perceived negatives.   Some guys don't mind violence, shows some passion.

PMS has a pretty good one as well.  My pain tolerance isn't very low, but I bleed pretty good (its not that thin of blood though) lolz.

I think I have read Cal's OkCupid profile before, but yet again it is lol worthy.

Mine goes:  I am a single white male who is 28 years old and in good shape.   I hate people, but love blunt force trauma and death metal.  I smoke copius amounts of weed and play video games obsessively.   I am a lazy bastard who does just enough to get by at school and work .  When I finish school I intend on working hard enough to earn decent pay to the point when I can someday retire and rot away like most old retired folk around here tend to do.   I am looking for a single female who doesn't mind insanity or revels in it.
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:P   Internets are super serious.

Offline Mr Smith

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2007, 03:25:25 PM »
Quote from: calandale on October 13, 2007, 07:49:37 AM
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=calandale1

enjoy.  :laugh:

lol @ the similar users bit. This thread is lighthearted by the way, It isn't a real ad.

And my god jman.. give it a fucking rest already. It's not flattering, and it's not funny. Also you know nothing about my genes.
« Last Edit: October 13, 2007, 03:30:55 PM by fatty mcblob »
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Scrapheap

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2007, 03:28:05 PM »
Quote from: fatty mcblob on October 13, 2007, 07:18:51 AM
Post your anti dating ads here.
Here's mine

I am 22 years old, but have the mind of a 12 year old. I have terrible mood swings, abysmal self esteem and shit genes. I am intollerant of people, and I cannot spell. I have hardly any hobbies or friends so I just whore the internet. I cannot concerntrate on anything whether I like it or not. My room is a mess and my organisational skills are appalling.

I have a bad anger problem which will probably result in a person getting punched in the face one day. I don't get along with internet people very well, and I like to eat sweet foods.

Will you marry me??  ;) :P :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :-* :-* :-*
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Offline Calandale

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2007, 08:28:33 PM »
Quote from: PMS Elle on October 13, 2007, 11:20:03 AM
WF, 21, career-bound, keeps in shape, will make you laugh, will make you cry, kills after mating.

Seeking:  SM or SF with low pain tolerance, hemophiliacs.


Hmmm....
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Offline Calandale

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #12 on: October 13, 2007, 08:31:32 PM »
Quote from: AllDayGlowRandy on October 13, 2007, 11:43:06 AM
Ok, someone needs some personal devolpement, ie Calandale.  You relax first then you call, its that simple, well it is for me.  Is that what happens with you?

Call whom? Hell, I don't know what keeps me from
being able to approach someone - but it's not too
different from what makes me drive those away
who approach me. Wondering if I'm too damned
chicken to even WANT to be with someone again.
Sounds like so much damned work, just to get where
I was before.

Quote
Concentrate on brining people up, and people will like you.  I am guess the opposite is true, but I could be wrong.  That would scare many away, only those who are truly strong with a heart of gold will approach. 
I would!  That is normal!  Sometimes its them and not you.

Oh, they approach. And I'm snide and nasty.
At least enough of the time. Or, I just stare into
space, and talk away from them.
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Offline Calandale

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #13 on: October 13, 2007, 08:36:02 PM »
Quote from: fatty mcblob on October 13, 2007, 03:25:25 PM
Quote from: calandale on October 13, 2007, 07:49:37 AM
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=calandale1

enjoy.  :laugh:

lol @ the similar users bit. This thread is lighthearted by the way, It isn't a real ad.


Thing is, I wanted to be honest on the quizzes. They'd come out so
WRONG in most people's eyes anyhow, that I figured I ought to just
be honest. Plus, I was getting people IMing me, and it was flipping
me out. HOW can anyone want to contact someone else on what
little that could be up there? So, I put all that up, in order to scare
the normals away. STILL got a response though, someone wanted
to know what asperger's was - from what she posted, I think she was
into enemas.  :o
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Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2007, 09:38:30 PM »
Quote from: PMS Elle on October 13, 2007, 11:20:03 AM
WF, 21, career-bound, keeps in shape, will make you laugh, will make you cry, kills after mating.

okay, pretty close to my age, meh, probably, I've lost the ability so I'll be holding you to your word, don't want to live anyways
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You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

politics and evil
all one and the same
satan hides behind
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