No, I'm just presenting a factoid of life. YOU CAN BE YOURSELF. BUT, when your doing what you need to survive, even thrive, then you learn to use facades, BUT, when you can, you drop the facade and be yourself.
everybody has personae - what you call facades - for different parts of their life: job person, parent person, friend person, etc. we all behave differently with different people and in different situations. so it's not so much a matter of being fake as developing a particular persona. yes, it can feel as though it's fake, but as ozy says (and i agree with all of his post), it's about learning to behave in certain ways, which is exactly what i did.
Ack, I must be completely not saying what I thought I was saying.
I've got no problem with facades, personae, whatever. I have no moral problem with learning to behave in ways that are effective. That's what I've already done.
But what's effective has changed. I'm not having the effect I wanted. I know how I need to change, I think - it's just something I'm scared to do. And I can't find a middle ground between too scared to function smoothly and not changing at all.
This is starting to sound ridiculous even to me. But I don't know how else to explain.
Sounds like you'v reached a "crossroads" in your life and don't know which way to go. Yes, thats a cliche, but, the best descriptive cliche I have.
Anywho, Have you ever made a list of the things you wanted to do with your life, job, etc? That was advice given to me by a job counselor long ago. Hell, I was even told to write down everything I wanted to own, etc. Sometimes its the act of putting things down in black and white that gives you some idea on which way to go and get back to doing what will be effective for you in the long run.
If I was sitting across from you irl, I would be able to frame my own thoughts better and make more sense than I am now. FWIW, I'v been in the same situation and basically, I forced myself to make a few blind leaps of faith out of my comfort zone. Not saying that would work for everybody, but desperation was one of my prime motivators to do so. I just felt that there had to be something better than what I was doing.
