Post what you're thinking right now.

[Lucifer]

A bit transparent, don't you think?

and that answered my question, did it? 

(you want me to be more obscure, so you can go all spazzy and not get it?  )

[odeon]

/flaps arms

[Lucifer]

/flaps arms

[odeon]

Let's do the filth instead, then.

[Lucifer]

Let's do the filth instead, then.

while you're flapping your arms?  you could take my eye out!   

[odeon]

/stops flapping

[Lucifer]

/stops flapping

/leaps...

[odeon]

(...)

[Lucifer]

(...)

(... ..... ......................................... .......)

[purposefulinsanity]

Pyraxis has a new job, but she is mute.

I am? From here, it feels like I've been posting about the fricking job everywhere, and I figured people must be sick of hearing about it by now.

For me, having more people post makes me also more likely to post - likely because there's a larger sample of material to find commonalities with. So if people were to post less about themselves, it would be a less interesting community and I wouldn't be able to find as many things to talk about myself.

That's kind of a reciprocal way of saying what I was getting at.

I have tried to open up a bit and trust, but it has mostly been a waste of time, because no one else tries to trust.

Oh, well.

 I never used to have a problem with trusting people enough on here to open up, but since the place has grown so much (or perhaps just changed) it feels less like talking about my personal shit at a house party and more like talking about it in the middle of a busy high school cafeteria where all kinds of people could overhear me.   Maybe I just need to get back my 'who gives a fuck' attitude when it comes to idea of others taking glee from my stresses/problems
     Its also worth bearing in mind that trusting people enough to open up also requires some kind of response from other people when you do- otherwise you just stop because you assume you were right in thinking no-one was interested.

[purposefulinsanity]

BTW- that post (and my previous one on this thread) were me attempting to open up a little, even if it was just about how I feel about this place, as a starting point.

As for what I've been doing lately- I've been trying to be positive and get my life back on track, because it feels like its been buried under shit for so long.   I'm trying to feel good about the little things in life, instead of constantly feeling inadequate.  For a lot of people the things I consider small achievements now are probably laughably pitiful, but having spent so long almost paralysed with worry and fear of making the wrong decision I feel they're worth a small amount of pride:
1) Almost everyone on our xmas list got at least one hand made gift- I worked my ass off getting them finished and the finished products were rather nice imo, and as a result of that by the time xmas rolled around we weren't actually coppering up to buy bread.

2) I haven't smoked for almost 5 weeks now- not a long time I know, but I've used smoking as a coping mechanism to help deal with the stress in my life for so long that it was hard to take that leap forward and throw away something I felt helped me get through the day.

3) I've started to really enjoy my 'job' again- yeah I know right now I'm 'just a mum', but that can be a damn hard job, that requires plenty of organisation skills.   Now I'm trying not to be my own worst enemy I actually feel like I do a reasonable job of it again. 

4) Finally I'm getting to the stage where I don't feel completely inadequate to help my kids through the issues they're going to face in life.  My eldest AS son starts secondary school in September and my youngest AS son starts full time primary school in September- sure I'm still worried about how they'll both cope, but I no-longer feel that I completely lack the skills to help them.

Like I said, not a great deal and nothing all that interesting- but it feels good to be digging my way out of the shit again.

[Callaway]

BTW- that post (and my previous one on this thread) were me attempting to open up a little, even if it was just about how I feel about this place, as a starting point.

As for what I've been doing lately- I've been trying to be positive and get my life back on track, because it feels like its been buried under shit for so long.   I'm trying to feel good about the little things in life, instead of constantly feeling inadequate.  For a lot of people the things I consider small achievements now are probably laughably pitiful, but having spent so long almost paralysed with worry and fear of making the wrong decision I feel they're worth a small amount of pride:
1) Almost everyone on our xmas list got at least one hand made gift- I worked my ass off getting them finished and the finished products were rather nice imo, and as a result of that by the time xmas rolled around we weren't actually coppering up to buy bread.

2) I haven't smoked for almost 5 weeks now- not a long time I know, but I've used smoking as a coping mechanism to help deal with the stress in my life for so long that it was hard to take that leap forward and throw away something I felt helped me get through the day.

3) I've started to really enjoy my 'job' again- yeah I know right now I'm 'just a mum', but that can be a damn hard job, that requires plenty of organisation skills.   Now I'm trying not to be my own worst enemy I actually feel like I do a reasonable job of it again. 

4) Finally I'm getting to the stage where I don't feel completely inadequate to help my kids through the issues they're going to face in life.  My eldest AS son starts secondary school in September and my youngest AS son starts full time primary school in September- sure I'm still worried about how they'll both cope, but I no-longer feel that I completely lack the skills to help them.

Like I said, not a great deal and nothing all that interesting- but it feels good to be digging my way out of the shit again.

I think that being "just a mum" is a very worthwhile and important job and I don't think that anybody should ever be allowed to talk down to you for doing it, especially since you do it so well.  You are an amazing mother.  Who could possibly be better at helping their children cope with their issues than parents who have faced many of the same issues themselves?

What kinds of gifts did you make for people for Christmas?  My daughter attends a special school for autistic children and she had more teachers on her gift list than she had children.  She and I made them bath salts that were multiple colors and we layered them in glass jars like sand art.  Then we made padded cloth bags for them with the cloth she chose.  She helped me sew a few of the bags, but there were so many that I sewed most of them myself.  We also made similar bags to hold her classmates' gifts, which were purchased.  These were transparent plastic replicas of the human body with its organs that can be put together and a similar replica of a frog's body.  She thought her classmates would enjoy scientific toys and this is what she chose.  We bought these replicas for her too, so she would not feel left out when she gave them to her classmates.

Congratulations on quitting smoking.  I think that five weeks is great.

[purposefulinsanity]

Thanks Callaway  - most of the gifts I made were knitted or crocheted- I was working on them almost any time I sat down for about 3 months.  They were mainly small items like scarves, hats, socks and fingerless gloves, but I made Dunc a jumper in secret (don't ask me how I pulled that one off lol) and I embroidered a pyjama case for my niece.  The bath salts sound really nice- I've made them before but they took so long to dry out once I'd added the oils and colour- how did you do them?

I know a lot of people think that hand-made gifts are for people who are cheap (although that attitude seems to be less common in the US), but since we don't have a lot of money I feel that its nicer to put some time and effort into making a nicer gift than we could afford to buy. I'm lucky that everyone I've given things to seems to have appreciated them, I've heard some horror stories on other websites about comments handmade gifts have gotten.

[Soph]

I think hand-made gifts are better.
It's easy to just go and buy some randoms hit from a shop, iI put more effort into hand-made stuff, and I appreciate it when I receive hand-made gifts.
The thing I regret most about the stuff me and Starbuline didn't get round to sending each other, is the pictures we were talking about.

[purposefulinsanity]

I think hand-made gifts are better.
It's easy to just go and buy some randoms hit from a shop, iI put more effort into hand-made stuff, and I appreciate it when I receive hand-made gifts.

I always hated buying presents for a lot of family members because I always seemed to end up just buying something that would 'do', rather than something I thought they'd really like.  When I make stuff I spend a lot more time planning what everyone would like as well as the time spent actually making the presents.

The thing I regret most about the stuff me and Starbuline didn't get round to sending each other, is the pictures we were talking about.

But the stuff you did get round to sending each other are still special.