Post what you're thinking right now.

[DirtDawg]

That must be one powerful, illegal radio!

Damn thing is coming through my computer speaker system. I have had CB radio interfere with my home theater receiver, but Never through my computer, before.

FUCK!

Can you tune in with your fillings too?

I don't think it was quite that powerful, but it surprised the hell out of me.

[Tesla]

[Soph]

I  think I should go to bed
I want to scrobble 9 more songs on last.fm though
Also, I have been being annoying lately
Sorry about that
I had a really messed up week
Going to stop being annoying now though, I think it will get better soon 
And I miss my cat, Flo
She is downstairs
She should come upstairs
I am thirsty too and sleepy
I think I've pissed someone off as well
I took all my tablets and vitamins before though
But my mum told me to eat the orange in the fridge and I didn't
I should have done
I wish I could not but it's late now and I should really be in bed
I mean I am in bed, but I should be sleeping
I'm not though; I'm sat here listening to Metric
This song is pretty
I want to eat it
Like the strawberry shampoo in the bathroom
The cherry one was even nicer though
This sing has finished now
Another Metric song has started
I will listen to Emily Haines after this and a couple Rammstein songs
Then I will go to sleep
But I will finish my drink off first
I hope it is still cold
It is fizzy apple juice in a green bottle
I nearly knocked it over before
Which is bad as I knocked one over last night
And I couldn't be arsed cleaning it up
I'm not really that lazy to be honest
It just takes too much effort
I blame it on my OCD
Everything takes ten times longer than it should with that
And my mum says I can go to the war museum next week
That's the Imperial War Museum North in Manchester
They have a Russian T-34 tank there
I think it was a T-34 anyway
I wanted to take my friend there to see the Soviet stuff one day
She would have liked the Russian things there
I'm going to buy some cool stuff from the shop there
I like museum shops
When I went there last summer I bought a compass and a squidgy tank keyring
I also got some postcards and other things
Then I went to Asda afterwards
That was back when I was seeing the counselor about my SAD
That day was the only day I left the house over the summer except to see doctors and stuff
I'm meant tob e going to London sometime this year though so that's another time I can go out
I think I will go to that Mental Health thing as well
I googled it and it didn't sound bad
I don't think they will lock me up or do anything bad to me as long as I am careful about what I say   
I am not going to the hospital anyway
There's nothing they could do to be at the hospital that would fix me
I am listening to Rammstein now
Let me see you stripped
This song is awesome
Starbuline bought Sehnsucht first for this and Du Hast
Then she got the two I told her were my favourite ones
I am going to listen to them today I think
I mean tomorrow, but technically today
I don't know if I should go to bed or not
I feel sleepy but I'm tired all the time now
So if I go to sleep now, I won't want to get up when I wake up
And I'll end up staying in bed till it's dark again
Whereas I could stay up all night, get up, get a shower and brush my teeth
Then get a pizza for breakfast and go back to bed
I don't think my mum would be as pissed off with me then
Also I should tell her about the letter
I will tell her I'm not doing anything if they try and make me do anything bad though
I don't think they will though
They will probably just ask me stuff
And I will lie
No I won't

[Soph]

I don't think I made any typos in that post
I'm not going to read through and check though
But that's good if I didn't
If I did, then I will get over my failure

[Soph]

Well now I am listening to Radiohead
Radiohead are so depressing
I don't know whether that makes me feel better or worse
Usually depressing music helps me feel better
But shit, Radiohead are depressing
Radiohead made me cry yesterday because the song reminded me of someone
I think it's confusing
I thinke verything is confusing though
I'm not sure if I'm really fucked in the head anymore or if everyone is just as fucked as I am but just ddoesn't show it
And I don't know which is worse
At least if other people aren't as fucked as I am then there's hope for me
If everyone's fucked then there's no hope at all
This song reminds me of when I first started college and no one sat with me so I sat in empty classrooms at break lol
Then I found some fake "friends" and went to Wigan with them twice
I think my mum thought they were a bad influence
They probably were

[Soph]

Also this week they started a new series of a programme that was first on at the end of October/early November
I never really watched any tv back then, but it was on all day to drown out background noise
So now everything from then reminds me of October/November 07
But then everything else reminds me of that too
I think when bad things happen, people should just lock themselves in a room
And not listen to anything or watch anything or talk about anything or do anything
because then you won't have the pain of associating it with that for the rest of your life
But then if you do nothing, maybe you'll never get better
So you're fucked if you do and you're fucked if you don't
I think that's sad
Also maybe it is also a good thing in a way
I think it's nice that I have songs that will always remind me of someone
Even if it is painful I think that's a good thing
Not that you neeed songs to remind you of them, but I think maybe it will help in the end
If it was the other way round, I would want to know my friend had a song she could lsiten to to make her feel better
Especially if you feel lonely

[Soph]

Also I don't know where everybody is but if it's because it's Friday and people are out then that's encouraging
there may be hope for me yet
I am listening to the Vines
I have unnamed to thank for this song
It is special
I wish I could tell someone
I want some more pills from the doctor
I want something for anxiety, OCD and to make me feel better
I dunno if just one would do all that
I could start taking the Prozac again actually, now I'm not at uni
Although there are still stairs in my house, I only go up and down them a couple times a day
I have to go to the kitchen and stuff after all
And I will be hopefully going out soon
But maybe I am being too optimistic again
yes I am too optimistic
People think I'm not becuase I'm whiny and emo
But I'm actually not, I have been optimistic about a lot of things, and I've learned that it's a waste of fucking time

[Soph]

Yes I have vouchers my dad sent me for Xmas
I will ask my mum to take me to the Trafford Centre and I will buy a couple games or CDs
I don't think my dad knows I'm fucked in the head
He hasn't seen me since I was about 12 though so maybe that's why
I kind of feel bad I don't see my dad anymore
But then he could have tried harder when I was younger instead of not really caring
And he has a new family now
He has a son and a daughter
He also has a dog and a wife

[Soph]

I hate the fucking Trafford Centre
Someone told me Al-Quaeda were going to bomb it once, but they never did
It's always full of noisy Scousers and people who walk directly at you and expect you to move instead of them
I don't hate people from Liverpool
I can't stanf the accent though, it's excruciating
Also I've only been to Liverpool once, to watch a A View From The Bridge
It had an Italian with blonde hair n it and I think everyone thought he was Swedish becuase of that
I went to italy when I was 7
We went to Pompeii and Herculaneum
That was when I was obsessed with Romans and Tudors
I cried on the plane on the way home because I missed my cat
My cat was called Henry
He was named after Henry VIII
I also had a stuffed gorilla named after Henry VIII
I still have him; he's sat on the chair at the end of my bed
I used to put underwear on him and make my mum bring him to meet me at school at the end of the day
I think she was embarrassed by him because she carried him in a plastic bag

[Soph]

Well by now i should be able to give Starbuline her 100th karma and go to bed
I will stop being whiny
Is anyone even reading this except me?
I didn't think so
Goodnight everybody 

[zaftig]

Is anyone even reading this except me?

I am.

[Soph]

 

Are you bored now?

[zaftig]

Are you bored now?

Kinda, woke up at 1 and can't sleep

[renaeden]

I read the posts. Does Prozac make you fall down stairs?  You could take a different kind of medication.
Your dad reminds me of my dad. I stopped seeing my dad at the same age. He will not have anything to do with me now. So don't feel bad about your dad. He could have made some effort to see you.

[Soph]

Prozac made me go a bit weird
I was at uni one day with a guy from the National Autistic Society and everything went funny so I couldn't seee, and my legs felt weak and my heart was going weird and I thought I was going to be sick. And I nearly collapsed at the top of a flight of stairs lol
So I got taken off them. That and they amde me lose my appetite so I wasn't eating and got too thin or something like that.

Yeah my dad was a tosser. I used to see him on Saturdays but I'd just end up playing the Playstation while he talked to his friends or whatever. And he lied about where he was living so he didn't have to pay child support from when I was 5 onwards. That was when my mum had hardly any money and a crap job and he was earning loads more and didn't have any other kids to have to look after. So he could have afforded it. That annoys me. He treated my mum badly. He bought me sweets though and games for my Playstation.