I tried to squat but I hurt my legs and instead took this:
I suppose we should have a "who has the most autistic face" competition.
Love the pic, but you need a large pipe and a leather bound book to complete the image.
I am not taking a piss on you. I am merely adding my insanity to the artistic statement you have made.
... also lower the lighting intensity and make it more directional from the short side, leaving the short side to go into deep shadow.