How much do you want a girlfriend/boyfriend/fuckbuddy? What would your ideal relationship be like?
I won't ask for a mate. I am picky, and selfish, and i know i have no right to be considering what i'm willing to give up. But until I have a mate there is going to always be a persistant pain of loneliness and lack of fulfillment. I don't know everything, so i won't say it is impossible that that person for me will be a man, but it is much easier for me to visualize my perfect person to be a girl. And that is about 85% due to shallow appearence reasons, and 15% because I really don't look forward to having sex with a man(or the guilt of not being interesting in making love to a man when he wants me to). As horny as guys are for women, i'd really not like to have to deal with that.
I'm not interested in a fuck buddy at all. If we have sex it will be because they want to. I'd have to be really stoned to want to actually have sex. Seems what i'm interested in with women is equal parts cuddling and foreplay.
I am looking for an intelligent, confident, and spirited person who has a relatively impressive goal they are working toward. Like I am planning on becoming a teacher, and try to create teaching techniques that will foster peoples curiosity and open mindedness and eagerness to learn. Help people become whatever they want to be. I also plan to become a therapist, and be friends for people who have no other lights of hope in their lives. I want a person who also has a goal, a career which they have decided to undertake because it is the most effective way to change the world in a way important to them. Not just to make money. I plan to look for this person once I have a job as a teacher and i've made some money. I'll be willing to move to the other side of the planet to be with the person who is perfect for me. I just hope their quest will allow us to be together some of the time.
I want them to be playful, and curious, and be interested in the things I am interested in. I'd like it if they were honest, and kind, and patient. I want them to be fascinated in me, and I want them to be fascinating to me. I want them to be an incredibly interesting story that I couldn't read all of in a life time. I'd like if she was laid back(at least some of the time), and was very perverted, and had a dark sense of humor as well as a playful sense of humor. I'd prefer she had her own methods to entertain herself, that I could join in with when i wanted to and she could join me in the things i was doing to entertain myself. I'd want her to accept me when i am totally naked honest before her(we're talkin' figurative here), and she was not cruel to me. And she was willing to share herself totally naked honest before me, and did not fear i'd be cruel to her. We would be each others perfect friends, and perfect support of each other as we fulfilled our quests to change a small part of the world we lived in and was important to us, and we admired each other for our perserverence. I imagine we'd be really really weird people. I'd also prefer we are friends with each other friends, and didn't have to lose them when we were in love with each other.
I'd like to be able to masturbate in my chair for instance, and she'll walk by and tell me the pizza is going to be here in 30 minutes, she wants me to watch some movie with her, and i'll tell her i'll hurry up. Cute fun things like that that are so weird.
She'll be reading, and i'll walk up behind her and pounce her, and ask her what's been happening in her book.
I don't think it is terribly important, and i'd think as intelligent as this person would be, and irreverent they'd probably have no problem with this, but they might misunderstand what it means to me. I would prefer to never get married to this person. I feel like marrying a person is a sign that you dont trust them. It's like they're thinking, "Well harold is the sweetest most perfect man i've ever met, but just incase he does cheat on me, i'll totally fuck up his life."
And i'd prefer that we do not identify with each other as husband and wife. Those words have moral and emotional and dare i say sexist connotations to them that i'm not really interested in adding to my PERFECT relationship. If they are really interested in getting married, i will, but I really don't feel like it is a positive emotional addition. I want to forever know this person as my best friend, my soul mate, not my Wife. I don't ever want to identify her as my wife, i wanna call her by her first name. If we did get married, I'd ask that it be anything but traditional. I want cosplaying, I want unsettling music, i want people playing video games, i want everyone to be blitzed, and we'll hold it in a hotel so people dont have to drive home. And there are gonna be strippers and dancers, and people watchin' horror movies, and i want the preacher to be so flamboyantly gay and cute that both me and my mate want to flirt with him. I'm still debating what to wear.
Also, i'm going to make a small remark about what sexual things i kind of hope she'd be into. I mean, I ask for so much, if she isn't into this, i'm not gonna ask her, but if she genuinely enjoyed sucking cock, and eating cum, with everything else, i'd swore i had gone insane and my hallucinations were by some stroke of luck very very kind to me. But i know most people don't like that or bukkake, so i wont be disappointed if they don't want to.
