ask soph anyfuckingthing

[Sophgay]

I hope it goes well for you
I think I have a fest metabolism as well
I just stay in bed all day and all night now
So I only eat if my mum makes me get up, or if she gets mcdonalds for me or soemthing
I haven't eaten today, or all day yesterday, apart from a couple cookies lol
I've been messed up since November, when I was going 24 hours withut drinking and stuff, but I thought it'd be ok by now :/

[renaeden]

It seems you are letting depression get the better of you. Don't let it, you have come this far and I know you are a fighter. Even if you get up and sit outside for a while and read/listen to music, that is something. I stayed in bed before, it doesn't help at all, doesn't make you feel better in the slightest. Try to get up and have a shower, get dressed and have breakfast. Just that, if you go back to bed it doesn't matter because you have already achieved something and you will feel better about yourself.

Sorry about the rant and stuff. It is just I know what it is like and I don't want anybody else to go through it, especially not you. You don't deserve it. Even though you say you do, you don't ok? And I know because I am right about this.

[Sophgay]

"iI know this because I'm right"
I tried that line on Starbuline, but then she just insisted she was always right and I was wrong lol

My mum just said she's going out and she'll be back in an hour, and to get something to eat, even if I'm going to sleep afterwards
I guess I should
It's so much efffort though, with my OCD stuff, and knowing that when I've done it, I'll still feel like shit and have nothing to look forward to... no motivation whatsoever. I just wish I could fall asleep and wake up in years when everyone's older and I have no responsibilities

[renaeden]

But that won't happen, we both know it.
Going out and getting a bit of fresh air and sunlight will do you some good. You may feel shit at first but you will feel better eventually, trust me. I'm right again.

I wonder how you have helped your OCD in the past. I don't have it, just repetitive thoughts, that's all.

[Sophgay]

In the past my ocd wasn't as bad; it was mostly just counting things and having things in the right place then. Butit's been gettigng worse for a year. I'm getting all the germs stuff, so I have to get loads of showers and can't touch things without washing my hands and stuff. It pisses me mum off as well I think, as I go through clothes too fast from getting changed after shwoers. Sometimes i'll wear something, then get a shower and change into soemthing else, then when i get into my room I'll get changed again because the clothes I'm wearing might have touched the wall before I put them on

Crazy shit
tbh I think I need meds for it, but I dunno which is more important: ocd or depression
the depression gives me my suicidal nights, but the ocd makes the depression even harder to handle

So confusing

Sorry for whining about it

[Sophgay]

In the past my ocd wasn't as bad; it was mostly just counting things and having things in the right place then. Butit's been gettigng worse for a year. I'm getting all the germs stuff, so I have to get loads of showers and can't touch things without washing my hands and stuff. It pisses me mum off as well I think, as I go through clothes too fast from getting changed after shwoers. Sometimes i'll wear something, then get a shower and change into soemthing else, then when i get into my room I'll get changed again because the clothes I'm wearing might have touched the wall before I put them on

And I've had days where I've had 5 showers in one day
Plus I go through loads of towels each time I get a shower
It's a nightmare

[renaeden]

Some medications help both depression and OCD. SSRIs - antidepressants, though they take a while to work. They stopped me from feeling like I had to clean everything at work. I was definitely obsessive over it and got into trouble. So the medication helped there.

I hope you get to find someone to talk with about your OCD - it is a complicated subject.

And you don't whine, you're posting facts and what is true.
And it is your thread to post in!


Your avatar is hypnotizing...

[Sophgay]

It is
I'm not really sure what it's supposed to be...

[ALLDAYGLOWRANDY]

You would be easier to seduce, and probably more fun for yourself if you went through some personal devolpment.

I started with just imagining what I wanted, and the pieces fell in to place.  I don't eat junkfood anymore,  and I don't lay around all day anymore either.  I have mildy devolped abs to, my diet needs a slight overhaul, then I will be humanly perfect.  Just by imagining it, it all happened.

WAKE THE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I am done with my focusing exercise, I feel stronger, it lasts several hours.  It intensifies everything about me.  It helps me be mean to

[renaeden]

I don't think being mean is Soph's way.

Soph, I don't really like that giraffe one. But I do like your current avatar. The rain and the tree.

[Sophgay]

I like this rain/tree one as well. I think it's nice
And I have Lucozade and am having a good OCD night, incase anyone cares

[Tristeza]

I like this rain/tree one as well. I think it's nice
And I have Lucozade and am having a good OCD night, incase anyone cares

I care.  Glad you're having a good night.     I'd like to see you take an SSRI for that OCD - sounds like it sucks bigtime.

[Sophgay]

Yeah it does
It's hard to explaina s well, because I don't understand it at all
And until I can at least put it into words, even just for myself, I don't know how I can go about fixing it
I want meds for it definitely, to try and make it easier
That, Sophie and the stuff going on atm, are the three main things making it hard for me to get rid of the depression
And with it coming from three directions, it's a pain in the ass to get rid of
I really hate my OCD though
Sophie thought hers was good; she said it helped her
But it didn't
It was just really bad
It made her stop listening to Rammstein sometimes, and things like that
Not that that is the worst thing in the world lol
But still, OCD can be such a fucking bitch
I hate it so much

[ALLDAYGLOWRANDY]

I was joking.

SSRI SUCK!

LOTS OF STUPID FUCKS USE THEM AS AN EXCUSE TO BE LAZY.    I used to be like that   What was I thinking

How is the weather where you are?

Are you an only child?

[Sophgay]

It's cold here and it rains a lot
I don't like hot weather though
When it gets really hot, I get migraines
Once I had a migraine and I started vomiting blood though
I didn't care though
I just leaned over the side of the bed, threw up and then went back to sleep
Thought I had TB
Obviously didn't
Was a bit thick
I had my TB jab in year 10
I cried when I got that
Then the bitch sent me back to Physics and people laughed at me
Fucking gays

I have two little brothers
I was an only child till I was 12
My dad has a son and a daughter as well
So technically I have three half-brothers and a half-sister
But I don't really
I have two brothers
I saw my other brother and sister with their mum outside the shop across the road a few months ago
other than that I don't see them