You can't get frostbite just from touching ice - not if it's ice you've just pulled out of the freezer, anyway. Household freezers aren't kept cold enough. The tongue-on-pole thing happens because the environment around the pole and your tongue is much colder... an ice penis in a warm room is going to melt, not freeze the things around it.
I've done my share of ice play... I agree about letting it start to melt first, but it's not anything to freak out about.