I'm sorry that you are feeling depressed and I hope that you feel better soon, Purposeful Insanity.
I think I can see the difference between a competetive streak and a contrary streak. It's like Nomaken wanting to find out things for himself about a subject rather than simply accepting other people's opinions about it, like so-and-so is evil or dangerous, for example. Both of you want to do your own thinking rather than having someone else try to do it for you and both of you don't want someone else telling you what you may and may not do. For example if someone forbade you to post whore, you would want to post whore just to show that you are an independent person who is capable of making her own decisions.
