*sigh* I heard that I should do this...so..yeah. ASK.

[Alex179]

do you love me?

If she does, she's stepping out on me, and then there will be hell to pay.

So Lucifer would have to pay hell?   Is hell her pimp now?   Lucifer practically owns hell, so she wouldn't have to pay anything.

[Lucifer]

don't be such a spoily woily - i'll let you love me too.   

What, again?

Well, I'm not doing anything Saturday.

good - i've been waiting fucking AGES for you to come back and finish the job properly. 


(best book most of sunday too, then).

[Lucifer]

do you love me?

If she does, she's stepping out on me, and then there will be hell to pay.

So Lucifer would have to pay hell?   Is hell her pimp now?   Lucifer practically owns hell, so she wouldn't have to pay anything.

i'm not paying for sex!  well, only in kind - "i shag you, you shag me," sort of thing.  and that was a Phrase Or Saying, not an invitation, alex179. 

[SomeRandomGuy]

good - i've been waiting fucking AGES for you to come back and finish the job properly. 

Yeah baby, that's called 'tantric'

[Lucifer]

good - i've been waiting fucking AGES for you to come back and finish the job properly. 

Yeah baby, that's called 'tantric'

oh, the 35,000 points of pleasure, eh?

i didn't think it was tantric, though.  more like tantamount to not having sex at all.  if i want to breathe at someone for a week, i'll go in for paramedic work, and resuscitate people. 

[SomeRandomGuy]

i didn't think it was tantric, though.  more like tantamount to not having sex at all.

Hush darling, that's just the roofies talking.

[Lucifer]

i didn't think it was tantric, though.  more like tantamount to not having sex at all.

Hush darling, that's just the roofies talking.

gods, but you're filthy.  talk dirty to me some more, big boy.

(p.s. - what's a roofie?    )

[SomeRandomGuy]

(p.s. - what's a roofie?    )

Umm, it's like having charm, grace, tact, good looks, money, and a giant cock.

Except in pill form.

[Lucifer]

can you get them on prescription? 

oh, hang on a minute - i'm not sure i want a giant cock.  it'd never fit in my latex trousers.

[SomeRandomGuy]

oh, hang on a minute - i'm not sure i want a giant cock.  it'd never fit in my latex trousers.

Huh... I haven't had any troubles yet.

[willow]

oh, hang on a minute - i'm not sure i want a giant cock.  it'd never fit in my latex trousers.

Huh... I haven't had any troubles yet.

you liar. what about that time you needed me to come over with baby powder to help you and your latex pants?

[SomeRandomGuy]

you liar. what about that time you needed me to come over with baby powder to help you and your latex pants?

*nod* Smartest purchase of pants two sizes too small evar.

[willow]

you liar. what about that time you needed me to come over with baby powder to help you and your latex pants?

*nod* Smartest purchase of pants two sizes too small evar.

except we wasted a whole bottle of powder and broke two spatulas.

[SomeRandomGuy]

except we wasted a whole bottle of powder and broke two spatulas.

You say 'wasted', I say 'invested'.

[Lucifer]

/sings...

"you say tomato, and i say tomato...
let's call the whole thing off!"

sigh.  you young things will probably never get the reference... 

go for PVC instead, then - less muss, less fuss.  (except when you go out dancing in the middle of january, and the sweat stays inside, and freezes on the way home.  this is true.  don't try it at home, children.  chafing is a nasty experience).