Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.-Steve Martin
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------i called up my girl, at her group home. now heres a mental image of her imagine a elephant in a balarena outfit, no just joking. shes hot imagine angelina joelie and laura bush, anyways her staff was passed out and i snuck the fuck in, (im quiet as a mouse) but the beer i was carring dropped on the floor lucky it was carpet so it didnt make any noise. we enter her room, on the door it says "keep out" because shes a bitter. only when shes mad though i took her helmit off, and tried kissing her but her braces were all in the fucking way and i could see last weeks dinner in them, i say "how about we just get to it you know?" she agrees. i throw her on the bed violently but it doesnt make any noise. since i didnt know if she had a bath yet i kept my pant on, as i humped her she kept looking at her fucking rats she has as pets, i didnt want to ask for eye contact. right before i came i saw an cereal bowl sitting on the counter, not wanting to make a mess in my pants i hopped off her pulled my pants down and shot it in her cereal bowl. my girlfriend didnt even know what it was that came out of me, "whats that white stuff?" this is um blood merle. i said, (yes thats her real name) i zipped up and was outof there like it was 1994. i waould have left out the front door but i was week after humping so i went to go out the window when it was fucking nailed shut. "im trapped! trapped like a rat!!" im thinking i need out of here, (i always want to escape after sex as quickly as possible) merle, i have to go i say. OH OK she sais, almost waking up the whole west cost of america. "not so loud merle" your going to wake up your staff. we both do the phone thing with our hands at the same time. (a universal jesture) for "call me" and i was outta there. on the way home i was almost attacked by a smurf with a police battalion, "give me yer wallet foo" thats when i told him i was police officer and flashed my pretend bage at him, the moonlight caught it at such the right angle that it looked increadibly real. he didnt even wait for me to say i was a pretend cop, he was gone as quikly as he tried to rob me. i had no other delays that nite and went home to sleep like a baby
