I am not sure if it was sexual or not, because she is fuckn pissed at me to a degree. She wants me real fuckn bad, its just having too much shit going wrong that I have no controll over. I asked her before, and she said no, because you will like it. FUCKN SPENT MY BANK ACOUNT TWO TIMES OF OVER $1000, AND COULD HAVE WENT TO MODELING SCHOOL. I CAN'T SEEM TO GET A FUCKN DECENT JOB IN THIS FUCKN TOWN NOW, AND I AM WISHING SO MUCH THAT I DID NOT FUCK AROUND SO MUCH. I AM FUCKN DEAD MEAT NOW. MEDITATION DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT CANNOT TOUCH MY BITCH OR GET ME ANY MONEY, BUT IT DOES PREVENT ME FROM BEING SUICIDAL. SO DOES MY MOM, SHE SAID I WAS ALL SHE HAD LEFT. ITS OK, SHE COMES TO ME, SO I LISTEN TO WHAT HER PROBLEMS ARE.