Educational

Author Topic: boys are better  (Read 12532 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: boys are better
« Reply #345 on: May 08, 2007, 05:44:22 AM »

And the really honest ones will answer something like, "You know me, the spawn of satan," and then if they care about you, keep taking apparently contradictory actions that show concern for you?

what about lying its a cornerstone of manipulative bastards rember. i can not tell if some one is lying, or being nice

what are the actions i should look for
the world tell us to look for things like calling to see how you are, bying you things ect..
these sings dont work for me because i dont demand them.

Watching for "micro-expressions" is what most people do. Micro-expressions are extremely short duration stress relievers, which show up in the face, that liars do, and it gives them away. That is something that would be nearly impossible for some autistic people, who can't even understand what huge melodramatic expressions mean.

If I look at your face long enough to pick up some of that info, I am already being manipulative, but that's me. I was slapped into making eye contact with people, as a child and I can use it effectively when I want to influence or intimidate someone, but I have also studied expressions in my work as a portrait photographer. I am occasionally fooled, still.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2007, 05:49:11 AM by Calamity Jane »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline paradox

  • Constant Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 305
  • Karma: 14
  • Gender: Female
  • babbling randomly in a reality near you
Re: boys are better
« Reply #346 on: May 08, 2007, 06:18:05 AM »

And the really honest ones will answer something like, "You know me, the spawn of satan," and then if they care about you, keep taking apparently contradictory actions that show concern for you?

what about lying its a cornerstone of manipulative bastards rember. i can not tell if some one is lying, or being nice

what are the actions i should look for
the world tell us to look for things like calling to see how you are, bying you things ect..
these sings dont work for me because i dont demand them.

Watching for "micro-expressions" is what most people do. Micro-expressions are extremely short duration stress relievers, which show up in the face, that liars do, and it gives them away. That is something that would be nearly impossible for some autistic people, who can't even understand what huge melodramatic expressions mean.

If I look at your face long enough to pick up some of that info, I am already being manipulative, but that's me. I was slapped into making eye contact with people, as a child and I can use it effectively when I want to influence or intimidate someone, but I have also studied expressions in my work as a portrait photographer. I am occasionally fooled, still.

i have read up on body language and while i understand it, put another person in the room and it is lost. i draw a total blank on it. pluses could never look people in the eyes. i allways look at the mouth
I have never understood why it should be necessity to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or indeed why it should be necessity to prove it at all - Avon

Litigious

  • Guest
Re: boys are better
« Reply #347 on: May 08, 2007, 06:53:24 AM »
If I look at your face long enough to pick up some of that info, I am already being manipulative, but that's me. I was slapped into making eye contact with people, as a child and I can use it effectively when I want to influence or intimidate someone, but I have also studied expressions in my work as a portrait photographer. I am occasionally fooled, still.

I can "read" the persons in my closest family, usually. But I often can't "read" other people very well.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: boys are better
« Reply #348 on: May 08, 2007, 07:07:50 AM »
I look directly at peoples mouths quite often, especially once I have become overstimulated by distractions in the room. It helps me to understand words, but it does nothing to understand expressions.

I also have a way to not focus my eyes. Kind of like when you notice something in peripheral vision, you can actually see it quite well, but without detail. If you want a closer look you turn and inspect for details of what you saw. I will sometimes washout the direct focus of where I am looking and try to see the whole picture instead of becoming bogged down with multiple details. This "not looking" allows me to "see" expressions much better, but it is something that I consciously have to do and I can see several levels of micro-expression.

I may not always know what they mean, but I can notice a contrast between rapid-fire expressions and it is enough to spot many liars who most people think are good at it. I know it sounds contradictory, but I can't really explain it any better. I get too much detail from looking too intently at someone's face, maybe. Looking at a stranger's face is like cleaning up vomit. You know you need to do it and you want to get it done quickly and not get any of it on you. Their emotions mirror strongly in me, sometimes and it can be uncomfortable to actually understand someone too much.

My son and I both seem to "Receive" others emotions if we look too closely and his reaction is to hide, but I have learned to not care or something.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2007, 07:18:47 AM by Calamity Jane »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline McGiver

  • Hetero sexist tragedy
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 43309
  • Karma: 1341
  • Gender: Male
  • Do me.
Re: boys are better
« Reply #349 on: May 08, 2007, 07:10:42 AM »
Quote
I may not always know what they mean, but I can notice a contrast between rapid-fire expressions and it is enough to spot many liars who most people think are good at it.
Dirt Dawg, what about when you are in contact with ASD people who unconsciously shifts their eyes to avoid eye contact.  this could be viewed as lieing.
Misunderstood.

Litigious

  • Guest
Re: boys are better
« Reply #350 on: May 08, 2007, 07:14:07 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.

Offline McGiver

  • Hetero sexist tragedy
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 43309
  • Karma: 1341
  • Gender: Male
  • Do me.
Re: boys are better
« Reply #351 on: May 08, 2007, 07:16:33 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
but smiling is painful if you aren't happy.
Misunderstood.

Offline paradox

  • Constant Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 305
  • Karma: 14
  • Gender: Female
  • babbling randomly in a reality near you
Re: boys are better
« Reply #352 on: May 08, 2007, 07:20:19 AM »
I look directly at peoples mouths quite often, especially once I have become overstimulated by distractions in the room. It helps me to understand words, but it does nothing to understand expressions.

I also have a way to not focus my eyes. Kind of like when you notice something in peripheral vision, you can actually see it quite well, but without detail. If you want a closer look you turn and inspect for details of what you saw. I will sometimes washout the direct focus of where I am looking and try to see the whole picture instead of becoming bogged down with multiple details. This "not looking" allows me to "see" expressions much better, but it is something that I consciously have to do and I can see several levels of micro-expression.

I may not always know what they mean, but I can notice a contrast between rapid-fire expressions and it is enough to spot many liars who most people think are good at it. I know it sounds contradictory, but I can't really explain it any better. I get too much detail from looking too intently at someone's face, maybe. Looking at a stranger's face is like cleaning up vomit. You know you need to do it and you want to get it done quickly and not get any of it on you. Their emotions mirror strongly in me, sometimes and it can be uncomfortable to actually understand someone too much.

thats why i do it to. i can not near some one talk if there is even the slights noise

the not focus thing you talk about, sounds like something I managed do on acid, and am now constantly trying to do off it but just can not. I can only see detales, unless it moves then I have to look at it.

One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
but smiling is painful if you aren't happy.

i smile most when stressed
I have never understood why it should be necessity to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or indeed why it should be necessity to prove it at all - Avon

Litigious

  • Guest
Re: boys are better
« Reply #353 on: May 08, 2007, 07:22:28 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
but smiling is painful if you aren't happy.

I know. I ususally never do it, both because I suck at faking it and that I hate mind games.

Offline Eclair

  • Official Treat of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 9481
  • Karma: 876
  • Gender: Female
Re: boys are better
« Reply #354 on: May 08, 2007, 07:28:00 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
Don't be sexist...I've been to nightclubs and I've watched people all night....guys are the best fakers really.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: boys are better
« Reply #355 on: May 08, 2007, 07:28:40 AM »
Quote
I may not always know what they mean, but I can notice a contrast between rapid-fire expressions and it is enough to spot many liars who most people think are good at it.
Dirt Dawg, what about when you are in contact with ASD people who unconsciously shifts their eyes to avoid eye contact.  this could be viewed as lieing.

Yeah, they talk about shifty eyes in movies a lot, but that is not the whole story. Eyes are only one element of expression.
But, you're right, in that most people would misinterpret eye contact avoidance as lying. As you know, that is bullshit. I don't have much contact with ASD people outside of the kids in our school and their parents. They are definitely more difficult to read, but that is usually because their expressions are either almost non-existent or grotesquely over-done. ASD people are the exceptions to the rules.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline McGiver

  • Hetero sexist tragedy
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 43309
  • Karma: 1341
  • Gender: Male
  • Do me.
Re: boys are better
« Reply #356 on: May 08, 2007, 07:31:57 AM »
Quote
ASD people are the exceptions to the rules.
maybe that is why we abhor all rules.
Misunderstood.

Litigious

  • Guest
Re: boys are better
« Reply #357 on: May 08, 2007, 07:35:14 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
Don't be sexist...I've been to nightclubs and I've watched people all night....guys are the best fakers really.

Maybe NT guys. I'm certainly not.

Offline McGiver

  • Hetero sexist tragedy
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 43309
  • Karma: 1341
  • Gender: Male
  • Do me.
Re: boys are better
« Reply #358 on: May 08, 2007, 07:38:55 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
Don't be sexist...I've been to nightclubs and I've watched people all night....guys are the best fakers really.

Maybe NT guys. I'm certainly not.
yes, Lits eyes say, "hey baby, wanna give me a rimjob and drink spoonfulls of my piss?"
Misunderstood.

Offline paradox

  • Constant Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 305
  • Karma: 14
  • Gender: Female
  • babbling randomly in a reality near you
Re: boys are better
« Reply #359 on: May 08, 2007, 07:42:53 AM »
One typical sign of lying is when someone smiles and the smile looks "painful". It's usually women doing it.
Don't be sexist...I've been to nightclubs and I've watched people all night....guys are the best fakers really.

Maybe NT guys. I'm certainly not.
yes, Lits eyes say, "hey baby, wanna give me a rimjob and drink spoonfulls of my piss?"

I have herd worse. But not from anyone who avoided bleeding
I have never understood why it should be necessity to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or indeed why it should be necessity to prove it at all - Avon