Go get some popcorn!
It started with my bipolar mom, who was ounce a model. She was offered $2000 for posing naked, but now lol, lets just say I feel sorry for her. I thank her partly for the body I have, Its just a dream come true. She had needs to abuse herself to cope to distract herself from her depression. (My dx, and my therapist agrees from what he herd.) She married people who were not quite right in the head when she, herself, had problems. Abuse was allowed back in her day and she got plenty of it. Even her father was heavly abused with starvation and beatings. His father was the same, working on a coffee plantation, as a slave in Brazil. We are portugeese. My mom has rare black person blood in her, but she is white. I suppose she drove my biological dad nuts to the point where he pointed a shot gun at her head. I don't know if it was loaded or not or if the what is said about us is true. She says we tried to hold him back. She then went for another person like that, her second cousin, who was in the special forces of the marines. That guy seemed like he had some problems, I mean fuckn someone with a cracked pelvis and choking to someone almost to death. I had my own problems, which are still unrecognized by medical doctors. I am smart enough to do most of it own my own, thankgod! I had a miserable childhood, of lonelyness, bad mother, bad dad, own issues, and being picked on alot. Mom had a decent base but not in the emotional department, and still does not. Dad is much better, but not sufficent as a father still. My step dad came back asking my mom for consolement about his suicide issue. She was going to help him and he laughed.
Its still a mess and getting worse, but I am better, too late though.
That is one of the reasons I want Carla to stop ignoring me, I don't know what my future will be like or where I am going. I am fucked, but not without a fight. This world does not seem to have room for me, and it seems as though I was never meant to be. Well too bad! Move your fuckn ass over and stop taking up two seats.