Hi esme
Nice pic! you deceived us with all this "ugly" talk. and i agree you don't look 41.
A few things occured to me reading your mini-autobiography - hope you don't mind me making some comments - this is also kind of advice to myself as I sometimes think in the same kind of ways as you've written about.
I met up first with a person called Philip at B'ham station (Philip the Great on AV)
I recognised him from some of the photos of previous AV meets
I said Hi to him and he said 'Oh, I didn't think it was you as you looked too old to be posting on AV'
I met philip at the meet on saturday. To be honest I thought he was a bit of nob as well, one of the only ones i thought that about, but not for the same kind of reasons. He had a slightly irritating pathetic yet arrogant way about him that got on my nerves.
I honestly couldn't give a shit though, as I was just there to enjoy the day for whatever it turned out to be. But here's an example: when we arrived in greenwich people said they wanted to go for a picnic in the park as it was such nice weather. some had brought food but most hadn't so went to M&S to get some picnic ingredients. Arrived at the park, he says that he didn't realise we were supposed to buy food so he didn't have anything to eat. Having ended up buying far too much food, and feeling charitable, I said he could share some of what i had. While everyone went off to sit on the grass, he announced that it was too hot for him and he didnt like sitting on grass so could we go and sit on a bench in the shade. Having offered food i had to join just him and Paul (v nice guy)for a bit but felt i was missing out on chatting to the others so left him with some sandwiches and joined the rest. He didn't really bother to thank me.
How's that for an opening gambit! lol
I realised that he was displaying a typical AS lack of tact and so continued to give him the time of day but I was
VERY offended in all honesty - that totally crushed me!
A similar thing happened with Punctual - she had wandered off and came back and said to Omega female "oh are you the only girl left with all these men?" Susan, who was fairly short hair and who was also there looked pretty pissed off..(guess that proves theories about Omega's looks wrong..)
What am I meant to do?? - take it in good spirit but how can you carry on interacting in a totally natural way when a person has said somthing like that to you!?
Think " it's probably an aspie trait - (not just the tactlessness but having no clue about what age people look.)" or "that guy's an idiot"
then remind yourself of all the people who complemented you about how you look, the experience you've had that he hasn't, then forgive and move on
stations/anywhere in public really really stress me out
I would have been happy to sit at a cafe within the station but oh no, Philip wants to go out of station
Maybe Philip finds stations (incl the cafe) just as stressful as you do?
Something akin to patting a small furry animal on the head and then going 'Anyway, so you were saying Andrew' etc
He probably felt more in touch with Andrew being a more similar age to him and having similar interests..
Andrew.. touch of the 'Head Boy' about him tho,
lol, yes a bit, but i thought he was a very friendly bloke. Can't believe he's only 23. I liked him
Re-read these:
despite it being my f-ing meet
I had HOPED that the meet would be an opportunity to get out of myself more and feel better.....
My meet evidently wasn't 'the main event' for them....
We never had another round.....
Apparently people were 'saving themselves' for the pub when we met up with the other 2 later
...
I was getting decidedly pissed off that we werent drinking
..
as the whole plan initially intended
It sounds to me like you built this day up, and the people going on it, *far* too much in your head. I'm often guilty of this too, but seeing it written down makes it
jump out at me.
You wanted a day when everyone would follow your plan and you'd be in charge because it was your meet in your city.
Punctual did this last week also, wanting to give very specific advice and be the "tour guide" and the centre of attention.
But people just wanted to explore for themselves and get on with it.
If anything didn't go quite to plan you got upset and are now blaming them. I do this also. I go out with people and even though there's a great film/gig/restaurant that i want to see on, and think everyone should go
the majority rule decides to go to some shit club/pub like we always do, and everyone except me is enjoying themselves, while i'm either banging on about how much better the other thing would've been or sulking and thinking "these people are too different from me. i should stick to my other friends who are more into my kind of things..(except it's then the same story with them)"
If instead you'd just relaxed and just gone with the flow without too much expectation you'd probably have enjoyed it more. But it's a tricky one.
And Andrew seemed to be getting p-ed off with me getting p-ed off...
Which p-ed me off even more!
If you'd just chilled and said "what will be will be" everyone would have been less pissed off.
David doesn't greet me in a friendly way, he says hello warily, with a f-ing 'what have we got here?!' type hostile frown on his face and said frown is to be seen on his face whenever I glance at him - like im evidently not what he expected
this is *your* head reading between the lines and saying all this. He might just have that kind of expression. People tell me all the time i look pissed off when i'm not.
This David is definitely a different flava of Aser tho......make of that what you will
...Oh yes, and he's self-diagnosed
here we go again with the NT accusations..
I didn't really talk much to him so can't really comment much but you really have to show that you don't care and give people the benefit of the doubt.. even if they look like they're looking disapprovingly just pretend they aren't and act as if they were being friendly. This way you'll feel better about the interaction and chances are they won't feel so disapproving as they'll see that actually you're ok.