Really Bad Euphemisms for Masturbation

[Arya Quinn]

I'm surprised that no one posted this:

Turning Japanese?

Why, are there tentacles involved? 

[Yuri Bezmenov]

I'm surprised that no one posted this:

Turning Japanese?

Why, are there tentacles involved? 

Do I have to draw you a picture??

[Arya Quinn]

I'm surprised that no one posted this:

Turning Japanese?

Why, are there tentacles involved? 

Do I have to draw you a picture??

Please, dear God. Don't

[Gopher Gary]

You're supposed to say yes. 

[Arya Quinn]

You're supposed to say yes. 

Tentacle porn isn't my cup of tea 

[Yuri Bezmenov]

You're supposed to say yes. 

Tentacle porn isn't my cup of tea 

Who said anything about tentacle porn??

"Turning Japanese" refers to the squint-eyed face you make while jacking off.

Listen to the words of the song. He's talking about looking at pictures of women.

[Arya Quinn]

You're supposed to say yes. 

Tentacle porn isn't my cup of tea 

Who said anything about tentacle porn??

"Turning Japanese" refers to the squint-eyed face you make while jacking off.

Listen to the words of the song. He's talking about looking at pictures of women.

I don't squint when I jack off. 

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Making Kleenex babies.

[Lestat]

Getting bitten by the pet one-eyed trouser serpent.

[Minister Of Silly Walks]

Dolphin waxing

Smack My Bitch Up (song is about wanking, video not so much)

[Arya Quinn]

Doing the Major Kong. Then again, now that I think about it that could also be a bad euphemism for taking a huge shit. 

[Charlotte Quin]

It was in early January I think when a post in a FB group came up about some guy around town wearing undies on his head. Anyway the comments section turned into a live running blog about what he was doing and where he was headed. So on this day I suppose he got kicked off the XPT or something so he was stuck in town badgering random shopkeepers. He stole a shopping trolley for all his belongings and headed down to the river to sit on the grass. And that's when I heard the new to me euphemism for masturbating in regards to what he did next;

"Knocking the top off one"

He fell asleep after that and FB lost interest.

[Lestat]

LMAO, that is beyond hilarious. I wonder if its a nasty euphemism based on the old bottled kind of milk, the inhomogenized kind with cream on top, hence, knocking the top off one. Underpants on his head? I wonder if he was doing that for  a bet, or if his belfry was so full of batshit, the bats had to be relocated by wildlife services.

BTW, apologies CQ, I accidentally reported the post, at least I think I did, but the response was 'LMAO', stupid fucking mouse touchpad is to blame for it, odeon, if that did go through as a report, please disregard it.

Cooking a cream pie without a baking tin....with underpants on his head? what in the name of holy fuck......

[Jack]

I wonder if its a nasty euphemism based on the old bottled kind of milk,

Was thinking of something similar, the practice of scraping the foamy head off draft beer.

[Charlotte Quin]

LMAO, that is beyond hilarious. I wonder if its a nasty euphemism based on the old bottled kind of milk, the inhomogenized kind with cream on top, hence, knocking the top off one. Underpants on his head? I wonder if he was doing that for  a bet, or if his belfry was so full of batshit, the bats had to be relocated by wildlife services.

BTW, apologies CQ, I accidentally reported the post, at least I think I did, but the response was 'LMAO', stupid fucking mouse touchpad is to blame for it, odeon, if that did go through as a report, please disregard it.

Cooking a cream pie without a baking tin....with underpants on his head? what in the name of holy fuck......

It was an interesting holiday season to say the least. Gotta love small town drama