Pathetic

[Nomaken]

I think, for her own good, she should stop obsessing over this guy, and she should realize she is kind of stalking him- But if I were her I would totally not want to admit to myself i've been stalking someone, and later in my life I'd rather not remember that I did, so even if it is better that I should stop obsessing, i'd rather figure out how to do it, and not do it, without having it rubbed in my face.

But I don't really think it is my place to tell her how to live.  And I think it is a little unreasonable to expect people to actively try to become fully functioning individuals.  Besides that, she is probably already trying as hard as she can, as all people do.

Just because currently she is having a terrible time doesn't mean she is trying to have a terrible life.  She is probably having a terrible life despite trying as hard as she can to pull her self out of depression.

When your life sucks you need to divert a huge portion of will to keeping yourself from despair and commiting suicide, and there isn't exactly a huge amount left over to devote to self improvement projects.

[McGiver]

i wonder if Nomaken and Kevv will think that you aren't being fair, yet she has every right.

What the fuck does that have to do with anything? I was specifically attacked, along with my life in general, by some self pitying no-life with a low sense of self worth. I can't just let it go, even though I tried, in an effort to be generous. I have pardoned her several times, already, but she burns people's clemency like lamp oil. I'm done with these magnanimous, big brother efforts.

sorry dawg, maybe i wasn't clear.

they have been arguing from the postion (kevv and Nomaken) that it is ok for her to say whatever she wants, but if someone takes offens....as you and i both have regarding our ability to be a parent, we are not allowed to reeact.  or we should be more kind in our response.  even though she was the first one to puch below the belt.

it seems to me as though their argument is that it is only ok for some people to resond, since the right to speak is selective.

the way i see it, you and i have argued from stated facts.  she has argued based upon speculation.  she has no idea what kind of parent we are.  but we do know several things about her, by her own admission.  and we cared enough to address those issues, whereas she decided to take cheap shots at us about things that are personal, and unstated.

i just figured that they would reserve the right to tell you that you are being unecessarily cruel, dispite the facts that state otherwise.

[ozymandias]

As a parent, who's been "questioned" about my parenting.  I definitely agree that the comments made were a cheap shot.  But, as for the individual that I am, I consider the source of those comments and don't see them as worth the rage expended.

Having said that, you both have the right to flame back, I won't say otherwise.  All I'm saying is "consider the source".  You both have something that "Holier than thou" doesn't.

So I'll get out of the way and let you get the rage out of your systems.

[McGiver]

I think, for her own good, she should stop obsessing over this guy, and she should realize she is kind of stalking him- But if I were her I would totally not want to admit to myself i've been stalking someone, and later in my life I'd rather not remember that I did, so even if it is better that I should stop obsessing, i'd rather figure out how to do it, and not do it, without having it rubbed in my face.

But I don't really think it is my place to tell her how to live.  And I think it is a little unreasonable to expect people to actively try to become fully functioning individuals.  Besides that, she is probably already trying as hard as she can, as all people do.

then why post?
perhaps she just wants to be told that everything is ok when clearly it isn't.

Just because currently she is having a terrible time doesn't mean she is trying to have a terrible life.  She is probably having a terrible life despite trying as hard as she can to pull her self out of depression.

perhaps not.  this statement does nothing to account for the decisions that she is making.  she is sabbatoging herself.  perhaps the role of the martyr is a comfortable place for her.  on that i make no judgement.  because people are free to live their life however they feel comfortable.
i just find it hard to believe, though, that she wasn't reaching out for help.  like the jid who is always getting in trouble on purpose to seek guidance.


by telling her that everything is ok, you are not giving her the help that she is screaming for.
perhaps you are a stalker=no good.
yes, you are a stalker!

perhaps you should consider your living arrangements before you pursue an expensive hobby=no good.
yes, you should consider your living arrangement first!

When your life sucks you need to divert a huge portion of will to keeping yourself from despair and commiting suicide, and there isn't exactly a huge amount left over to devote to self improvement projects.

a decent start would be to begin to make better decisions....self improvement projects aside.

forgive me but i thought that she could handle this.  she did, afterall, have the courage to overcome her eating disorder.  therefore i thought she was a fighter.  i thought she had the ability to take control over her own life.


about the suicide inference;
a couple of years down the road, when she sees not a shred of improvement....because of people like you who are coddling her....you can have yourself to blame for not speaking frank with her.
kindness, in these situations, are destructive.

[McGiver]

As a parent, who's been "questioned" about my parenting.  I definitely agree that the comments made were a cheap shot.  But, as for the individual that I am, I consider the source of those comments and don't see them as worth the rage expended.

Having said that, you both have the right to flame back, I won't say otherwise.  All I'm saying is "consider the source".  You both have something that "Holier than thou" doesn't.

So I'll get out of the way and let you get the rage out of your systems.

as i age, and learn more about myself, ozy, i hope that i, like you, have the courage to ignore the source.

you are right, and i + you for your post.

[SovaNu]

Where is the evidence of this? ... all the whining?  ... or is it the denial?  ... maybe the attack? What supports this view?

i was just giving you my perspective, i don't need to present evidense for it, you can believe what you want. but i've talked to her and she isn't whiny when i talk to her, and she wasn't all negative here either, there are more sides to her than just sadness.

[ozymandias]

As a parent, who's been "questioned" about my parenting.  I definitely agree that the comments made were a cheap shot.  But, as for the individual that I am, I consider the source of those comments and don't see them as worth the rage expended.

Having said that, you both have the right to flame back, I won't say otherwise.  All I'm saying is "consider the source".  You both have something that "Holier than thou" doesn't.

So I'll get out of the way and let you get the rage out of your systems.

as i age, and learn more about myself, ozy, i hope that i, like you, have the courage to ignore the source.

you are right, and i + you for your post.

It's never easy and never will be!  It's not so much courage as practicality, making the decision as to which fights ARE worth fighting and which are only worth the effort to avoid, like a pile of dogshit on the sidewalk!

[ozymandias]

Where is the evidence of this? ... all the whining?  ... or is it the denial?  ... maybe the attack? What supports this view?

i was just giving you my perspective, i don't need to present evidense for it, you can believe what you want. but i've talked to her and she isn't whiny when i talk to her, and she wasn't all negative here either, there are more sides to her than just sadness.

I concur!

[purposefulinsanity]

I'm not even going to go into the whole how do we even know it is her argument and I'm not going to bother attacking her back (because quite frankly it would be a waste of my time). This is some common sense addressed to her and she can take from it what she will:

  I found some of your behaviour you posted about towards this man quite frightening and you really need to take an emotional step back from the situation before it gets you into trouble.  Look at the situation from the view point of an observer:
   He spoke to you  only once.
   He has made it clear he isn't interested in a relationship with you- no-matter how much you want that to be different there is nothing you can do to change his mind, in fact every thing you do to try change that makes it even more unlikely to happen.
   You follow him, leave letters and poems for him.
    You make sure you're always around when he's walking home, when you know he'll be in the supermarket, etc.

If someone was doing all this to you, despite you making it clear you weren't interested, how would you feel about it?   Would you think it was romantic and that maybe you should give him a chance?  Or would it make you feel uncomfortable, like he was trying to pressure you into something that you didn't want?

You've said yourself that he has referred to you as a stalker- doesn't that tell you something about how your behaviour is making him feel?

I don't know how seriously he is taking it all- but consider this- if you want the police to do something about a situation like this you need to collect evidence (maybe that's why he takes your letters?).  You need to write down all the times the person in question was hanging around you and what clothes they were wearing at the time (maybe that explains what you see as him hovering around you).  If someone tells you they're not interested, implies that your behaviour is making them uncomfortable (by calling you a stalker) then you need to take it seriously.  You need to back off before he gets the police involved.


You can all smite me and flame me to death for this, but it really had to be said.
   

[The_P]

Am I the only one who refuses to assume an anonymous poster is someone I know?

check the email, divvy... 

Nomaken, you're truly a muppet: -1

As for Graelwyn, Intensity is not going to be for everyone, so get over it and move on to a more suitable social atmosphere that caters to your needs. Btw, you are also fucking naive to think that autistics are all intrinsically nice people.

Mel, you're spot on.

[odeon]

P+

Sensible advice.

[The_P]

To RobertN: Intensity is not going to be for everyone, so get over it and move on to a more suitable social atmosphere that caters to your needs. Btw, you are also fucking naive to think that autistics are all intrinsically nice people.

Get over your indignancy please, Robert.

EDIT: Should've led Callaway on by mentioning that I am psychic, since she pm'd me about the viewing guest.

[Callaway]

I do not think any of you see how utterly pathetic and infantile you look, forming this little clique called the Anti Emo whatever the hell it is. It is even worse to see you, DD, a man of your age and self admitted sensitivity to be engaging in such bullying tactics...which is exactly what this forum appears to be. Nothing to do with AS, and really, quite honestly, Callaway, Kevv and a few others aside, I do not believe most of you are actually AS. Just using the title as an excuse to behave likt overgrown schoolchildren... I find the whole social skills and wrongplanet comment very interesting... Just how is beliittling and bullying those who are struggling a sign of great social skills? More like a sign of an inability to deal with anything NEARING reality. This is your little haven where you can indulge in ignorant behaviour you would never get away with beyond this site...and where you can wear your naughty little schoolboy and schoolgirl masks. I doubt one of you is actually like this in your day to day life... how does it feel having all these different masks? Pretty gutless, I think. It takes a gutless group of people to single others out and come down on them like a tonne weight of shit. Keep your silly little emo labels...but God forbid you should ever resent it when others label you as a bunch of sex crazed, brainless, judgemental, insensitive, shallow and narrow minded ignoramuses. Because that is my label for you, with a few exceptions. I feel sorry for any offspring, is all I can say, for they are in for a rough time indeed. They deserve to have been born to those more deserving, not to mention, more responsible.

Oh, and as a note to the one who claimed to 'like' me. I do not like liars, or people who say things that they do not mean.

I am well and truly glad I am away from this abysmal excuse for a forum. I read some of the comments and cannot believe I associated with such an ignorant bunch of people and that I was misled into believing there might be some semblance of tolerance for individual differences here. Come on, throw out your worst...it is about all most of you have any talent for, in all honesty... that is why it makes you feel so good. You can say the shittiest, nastiest things you can come up with...and feel as if you have accomplished some great task...and then applaud one another like a load of primitive spectators in a gladiators arena. Sad to say, but most of you are remarkably NT in your behaviours. Is it not supposed to be the NTs who bully those who are different? McJ... I bet your daughters will one day wish they did not have such a poor excuse of a man for a father. I find you the most pathetic of all on here... try a taste of your own medicine, you fucking loser. Imagine the only pleasure your wife gets from you is when you fuck her, God knows, you seem to have little capacity for anything else from what I have seen. It is good you are so thick skinned and insensitive as it means your feelings shall remain intact, unlike those of the others you attack. Or, my God, do you even have feelings? Or is an idiot clown all that you are these days? Hmm    I can spew hate and judgement with the best of them, should it take my fancy... does that make me a member of the club now, or are there suddenly limitations... of course there are, I have to be a member of your gang, your gang.

It is sad that you don't even see it. You can respond with all the bile and acid that you can muster from your little minds, but I have said what I wanted to say and it will be as water of a 's back...because I have realised, the opinions of bullies are exactly that. Have fun, little anti emo brigade... don't forget to get your little badges of honour made up to show you are a part of this oh so intelligent and insightful little group. 

EDIT: Should've led Callaway on by mentioning that I am psychic, since she pm'd me about the viewing guest.

I probably would have fallen for it, P.   

To the people who doubt that Graelwyn is "Holier Than Thou", I refer you to this post she made on WP concerning this:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=454194#454194

I told them at Intensity that I do not believe most of them have AS. I did not say that none of them have AS, as that would be untrue as I know a few are officially diagnosed. I do not really wish to carry over business from another forum to this forum. What occurs on Intensity is for Intensity. 

As usual, my anti-virus firewall software kicked on to scan my computer just after I went there, so I quoted her post for you just in case your anti-virus software is not up-to-date.

I think it is OK for me to link this thread, because anyone can see it.  I am not using her IP address or any other "admin powers" to know who she is.  Besides, the post from "Holier Than Thou" sounds just like Graelwyn, plus you can see the email address for guest posts.

All that said, I am going to address Graelwyn as herself:

I do like you Graelwyn.  I honestly do.  If you can't understand how I can really like you but not condone some of your behavior, then I'm sorry, but I am still going to speak my mind.

Leave Mr. Wears a Tea Cosy on His Head Guy alone.  From what you have written, he thinks you are stalking him, whether you believe you are or not.  All the stuff you are doing to make him notice you is only going to convince him further that you are stalking him and at this point you have already done everything you can do anyway, so please just leave him alone. 

I hate talking about this, but I had a stalker obsessed with me.  I finally had to go to the police to make him stop.  Thank goodness it worked, because the guy was scaring me.  He would not leave me alone or take no for an answer, which is what you are doing to Mr. Wears a Tea Cosy on His Head Guy.

I don't want the object of your obsession to take this to the police like I finally had to, because the consequences to you if he did would be devastating.  So please just leave him alone.  Stop writing messages to him or paying any attention at all to him.  If you know that he is going to be somewhere at some particular time, don't go there then.  Try your best to avoid him, for your own sake.

I take exception to you saying that I and the other parents here are bad parents just because we don't want to set your feelings above everyone else's feelings.  I love my daughter fiercely.  I am an excellent mother and when you say that "I feel sorry for any offspring, is all I can say, for they are in for a rough time indeed. They deserve to have been born to those more deserving, not to mention, more responsible,"  I take it personally.  I think I am a much better mother for my daughter than anyone else could ever be.  I am very responsible and I take excellent care of her.  I would give my life, if it would save hers.  I think we are very good parents here because we can understand our children better, partly because we have dealt with at least some of what our children are dealing with when we were growing up. 

As for the "I do not believe most of you are actually AS" argument, thanks for leaving Kevv and me and a few others out of that number, but I still say 

Where did you get your credentials for diagnosing people with AS, especially over the internet?

[Nomaken]

Mcjagger:
I don't have an argument.  I have a preference.  I am asking you to be nicer to her than everyone else.  Or I was.  There isn't much point now.

then why post?
perhaps she just wants to be told that everything is ok when clearly it isn't.

She could just be bitching.  It hurts even worse when you can't complain about what pisses you off.  This may be an instance in which she doesn't want advice, she just wants someone to listen.  And I don't think she wants to be told everything is okay, I think she just wants someone to acknowledge that she is at least in part right, even if it is a small part, and probably not the main part.

this statement does nothing to account for the decisions that she is making.  she is sabbatoging herself.

Very depressed people, and people who are deprived of any acknowledgement that what they think isn't stupid, and the ability to vent are very prone to sabbotaging themselves.  They prefer to beat people to the punch as it were.  And it is a very difficult(it is addictive) habit to break out of.  Most often it requires people who they dont NEED to beat them to the punch of doing hurtful things to them, so they can get used to the concept that that wont always happen.

i just find it hard to believe, though, that she wasn't reaching out for help.

She probably is reaching out for help, but I don't think she is the type receptive to 'tough love'.

a decent start would be to begin to make better decisions

Making better decisions is a self improvement project.

forgive me but i thought that she could handle this.  she did, afterall, have the courage to overcome her eating disorder.  therefore i thought she was a fighter.  i thought she had the ability to take control over her own life.

I think her eating disorder was overcome pretty coincidentally.  I wouldn't call her a fighter.

It is my belief that when a person gets these kinds of things, they will eventually stop being so pissed off, and start developing the personal strength to not be pissed off by those things in the future, and eventually start up on self improvement projects.

[AscanRobertNOmega]

Well, well, well – what do we have here? Someone accusing IntensitySquared members of bullying? Never! How can that even be conceivable. An absolute abomination that anyone could suggest that they were bullied on such an enlightened website.

Thought police? No. That’s just silly. We all know you have better things to do with your time than go hunting around the internet looking for comments that ex-members have made against the site and link them on here. No, that’s a daft accusation to make against such upstanding, unprejudiced people such as yourselves. And really, I even heard one twat complaining that people were making new threads over the fact they thought he was browsing the site. Honestly, what piffle! How can that possibly be true.