So, what are you ignoring, right now?

[DirtDawg]

I think that what torments people, regarding hope, is when you reach the point of thinking that hope itself is enough to get things done. Hope is not an action. There is no active hope, unless you take that hope and imagine a path through it to get what you are hoping to have.

A-fucking-men.

Though it does have its drawbacks, when they say "you'll never understand what it's like," and you know it to be true.

I will never know what it's like to abandon hope. 

That is absolutely true. 

It is the thinking that we are already defeated that defeats us, the thinking that, no matter what I try next, it won't work either, that  makes hope seem so much a waste.

Hope is the initial stage of the planning of action, used as we begin an action, nothing more.

Hope itself is completely empty if not shouldered through.

[DirtDawg]

And if they're not a jerkoff, and you have no ill will?

... in the case of Soph, for instance?


I honestly know almost nothing about her. She has tiny hands, but that has little bearing on her ability to succeed.

She is young, though. That, in itself, defines opportunity more so than the resources of ninety percent of the people who have given up.


Soph may just need another friend.

[Sophgay]

i was told i have giant hands once
i think my hands are average-sized, but i'm not sure
i don't feel young anymore
i think there's a line that i've past somewhere between leaving high school and getting to where i am now. and that was the time where i had to make something of myself. i'll be 20 soon and i'm going nowhere. it's time i stopped being idealistic and grew up a bit and realised i will be as insignificant as any other person; i just have to exist and survive, like everybody else. i don't think i can grow up until i accept that.

[ozymandias]

And if they're not a jerkoff, and you have no ill will?

I have a lot of pent up ill will, but, if they're not a jerkoff, I'll save the ill will for fantasizing about throttling the jerk offs who so desperately deserve it! 

[Sophgay]

i have a lot of ill will
i do care about people if i like them, but not as much as i should do to be a good person
i only really really care about people as much as i should, if i love them or if i want to have sex with them

[Pyraxis]

And if they're not a jerkoff, and you have no ill will?

... in the case of Soph, for instance?

It was a generalized bitch... I can think of at least three people it's immediately applicable to. It's something I've run into a lot.

Needing a friend probably covers it though. I just struggle when I am said friend, and honestly want to help, but can't say either "yeah, I know what you mean" or "here's what you could do to fix it." But I'm also susceptible to taking it hard when a person says "you're too happy (or too successful, or too competent, or too young, or too alive) to get it." I always feel guilty for walking away - if I'm so successful or whatever, there ought to be something else I could do.

[Sophgay]

i felt like that sometimes with my friend
i mean, i wasn't successful, but i wasn't suffering like she was, and i didn't know what to do to help
i could understand, but i couldn't make it stop
sometimes things just won't get better, and that's why there's no hope for some people

[DirtDawg]

i was told i have giant hands once
i think my hands are average-sized, but i'm not sure
i don't feel young anymore
i think there's a line that i've past somewhere between leaving high school and getting to where i am now. and that was the time where i had to make something of myself. i'll be 20 soon and i'm going nowhere. it's time i stopped being idealistic and grew up a bit and realised i will be as insignificant as any other person; i just have to exist and survive, like everybody else. i don't think i can grow up until i accept that.

It is up to yopu to define that survival.


O FOR fuck"s sake! God DAmnit! I have lost four people to suicide. People who I personally thougght of as close friends. People who I tried my level damnedest to help towards the end. The weakness was theirs, not mine!!!



Realize that at twenty you may eb only one quarter (or with advancing science, one fifth!)  of the way along a path. You do not have to be miserable or insignificant, unless you are already done.

<asshole>

In which case your friend may have had the right idea.

</asshole>

[Pyraxis]

O FOR fuck"s sake! God DAmnit! I have lost four people to suicide. People who I personally thougght of as close friends. People who I tried my level damnedest to help towards the end. The weakness was theirs, not mine!!!

Point taken.

[Sophgay]

which right idea?

[DirtDawg]

O FOR fuck"s sake! God DAmnit! I have lost four people to suicide. People who I personally thougght of as close friends. People who I tried my level damnedest to help towards the end. The weakness was theirs, not mine!!!

Point taken.

No, that was aimed at someone else. Someone who I think needs a bit more time to grieve, but I feel may beat even the best odds if she makes it past her darkest days.

[Pyraxis]

Ah. LOL, told you I was prone to taking it hard. (Haven't lost anyone to suicide yet.)

*backs off and attempts to sort through competing urges*

[DirtDawg]

which right idea?

Soph, I'm just saying that, if you continue to feel that you are already defeated, then the oly viable option you have to look forward to is ...


... well think it down hard, before you make her memory fade that much sooner.

[DirtDawg]

Ah. LOL, told you I was prone to taking it hard. (Haven't lost anyone to suicide yet.)

*backs off and attempts to sort through competing urges*

I truly "hope" that you never do.

(I haven't mentioned the three that cvame as surprises)

[Sophgay]

i don't want to feel defeated, but i don't want to be another one of those people i see deluding themselves, thinking their lives actually mean something (i don't mean you or anyone on here btw, i mean other people)

i am not special and i have no particularly great abilities or talents - if i'm going to get through things and stop being weak, i need to accept that. i see so many people thinking they're going to do something great with their lives, and actually be something. but the reality is, 99.9% of people won't.

i won't let her memory fade away though
i don't know how, but i won't