From the childs POV they will learn that you can hit people who are smaller than you!
Once saw a mother "play" with her kid. Spanking play. She slapped the kid, not hard, no pain, but the movement was there. And the kid was supposed to like it. The moment the kid, a toddler, mimicked his mum, and did to her what she did to him, she told him he was not allowed to do that, because he was just a kid.
I turned out completely wild of course, because of lack of physical punishment.
My kids will turn out just as feral.
Kids hurt themselves enough, when going in the wrong. No need to ad to that with a smack.
My kids did not learn that lesson.
Nor did they turn out traumatised for it.
Nor did they pick on other kids on that basis.
So I am not sure, how them being the recipients of smacks on the bottom when they were naughty, relates to the above. It does not sound causal as it seems to be framed? Is it supposed to be?
I was not talking about your kids. Plenty of kids have had a smack on the bottom and turned out OK.
Have only once see someone do what I described, and I was quite abhorred by it. The mother actively taught her sons that hitting is allowed when you are bigger and have more power. It was as a cartoonesque show of how hitting does have to do with power. Those boys did turn out quite feral on the playground btw.
Of course, disciplining my kids has to do with power too. In the end, I am the parent, and sometimes that is the only reason they have to comply with what I say. Discussion about that can be done later, when heads have cooled and the night is over.
Disciplining differs a lot per kid. For my youngest, I have to let her rage, calm down, realise what she has done, apologise, and, then I let her think up a punishment for herself. She is very harsh on herself, so, I take away a chunk of her punishment, and make half of what is left probational. Works well. For the oldest that would not work at all.
Growling, yes, I do growl, my kids growl at me too, now and then. As long as we can talk and get back to normal, that is OK. They have to learn to defend themselves. And, I as a parent, do make mistakes. Nothing wrong with my kids realising that. They make mistakes too, and I love them no less for that.