And DD, poison generally involves slow and suffering. Its not pretty as a way to go, unless one has access to something like batrachotoxin (dart frog poison, used by tribal amazonian indians, fired as blowgun darts, I've seen it in action, where they took down a large ape in a tree, and it was as fast as if the ape had been taken out with a .50 caliber bullet to the head, dead within seconds, dropped out of the tree the second the dart hit and was dead long before it ever hit the ground, and in a frog no bigger than a thumbnail, enough batrachotoxins, pumilliotoxins, allopumilliotoxins etc. to kill two adult bull african elephant, if it could be equally distributed weight wise, which is no more than 2mg. So quite overkill for a human, no possibility of fucking it up and ending up as vegetation. And nothing any doogooder can do, because you'd be dead before you even hit the ground, never mind the time it takes to phone an ambulance on their part. But poison is generally slow and nasty.
I've probably a thousand and one ways to go out that way so to speak, and its none of it pretty. Quick, sometimes, but it desn't mean painless. The likes of cyanide poisoning might kill within minutes, or less, but its a violent, painful, miserable death. Thats why I'd probably use an explosive to do the job. Reliable, there's no 'bullet missed enough brain tissue to leave you living, but the bad news is you are now plant life', just an instantaneous transition from suffering miserable human needing out, to pink squishy fog cloud. Thorough, and no room for 'bullet missed a vital bit, but did hit several ALMOST vital bits that all together, make for damn vital to maintaining life as meat rather than roots, leaves and cucumbers.
No room for error, and a way to maybe blow a bunch of pigs to hell, summon them all up first and give them a final middle finger, courtesy of a backpack full of 100kg of plastique and razor-wire, ball-bearings and rusty nails. Isn't it just lucky for the filth that I'm not suicidal for one, and that my stalker owns the rights to my living and breathing, my life is hers, not mine to take. Save in such awful circumstances when we both know it would be a relief from inevitable hell on earth, such as dementia. then, I know she would do the same thing, and if she was there to do so, probably pull the trigger on me if I couldn't do it for myself. Shes a real snugglypie like that
Interesting girl too, fiery as hell, and used to peoplewatch Tim McVeigh, was his penpal after he got done for the collateral damage done when making his pork scratchings, not to mention one sexy motherfucker, 54, IIRC now, but could do herself up with makeup if she ever wore it, to pass for early 20s, easily. Some people age like cheese, some like fine wine, the former just get older and stinkier and slimy, while the latter just become ever more precious and all the more a treat for the senses. stalker gurrly is definitely a fine wine kinda lady. Not that I'm a wine fan actually, but a finely crafted aged spirit, something that just gets ever more delicious as it ages. OK, so I'd love to fuck the brains out of a ~54yo lady, so the fuck what. Only person who EVER could make me feel anything like I did for my ex, cazzie, the classically autistic riot in a 14ish-yo package full of dynamite.
14...54 (give or take a year or so), at least it proves I'm no pervert going after the young lady I was engaged to (and still to this day burn inside, in my own personal perdition of loss and emptiness, that she filled, still wish like fuck that I had gotten to put that ring on her finger, and swear myself hers until the day I die.)
I have to admit...I do seem to end up in some rather unconventional relationships. Its either some fucker that turns out to be a psychobitch in a hot outer shell, but ugly as fuck when you rip all their skin off and look at whats underneath, I seem to attract nutballs, but the good relationships, they are ALWAYS weird, unconventional ones. twice my age, barely 14 when I'm near 20 odd (very odd in fact
), always classically autie and one who puts the 'class' into 'classic Kanner's autism'
And always smokin' hawt too. Always totally off the wall with regard to 'conventional' in any sense, often for some reason medically weird, with something incredibly rare in their genome, or in the case of one kassiane S, statistically should not exist, would love to get in with her though, now that is a girl with classy and hot, blazing off of her like the jet of a plasma torch. Speshul as, and any guy with taste's dream come true
