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Author Topic: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR  (Read 21841 times)

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Offline Yuri Bezmenov

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #540 on: October 25, 2018, 12:01:10 PM »
Wal-Mart: The only place on earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life what not to wear episode.

 :lol1:

I almost never shop at Satan's Five and Dime but when I do, I always people-watch to catch the freak show.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #541 on: October 25, 2018, 06:19:25 PM »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Lestat

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #542 on: October 25, 2018, 07:32:34 PM »
Everything I've ever  heard about wal-mart really sounds like they suck dog cock and swallow. Refusing to give patients  the opioid medication legitimately prescribed by their doctors because they decided to play god and decide not to fill opioid painkiller scripts that are above a certain number of  'morphine equivalents' in potency per dose.

Snitching people up for buying lots of pseudoephedrine cold medicine, demanding ID to purchase said feedstock, deliberately selling pills of feedstock that  are gakked to fuck, to make them difficult to extract, and when extracted, difficult to successfully reduce. Even really horrible polyampholyte gakks which are both acid and base-responsive, and  which fuck up the  migration of freebase pseudo or ephedrine  into nonpolar solvents, and even worse, active in TINY amounts, so even traces  remaining after cleaning one's glassware afterwards, can fuck up acid-base extractions of other, unrelated things. Polyampholyte gakks are just evil, noxious, vile fucking shit.

I am really thankful about the  worst we get here are waxes like stearates and povidone, crospovidone in UK pseudo pills, since UK pseudo pills  are far less gakked than in the US.

Not that I tend to make meth from pseudo. It'd be far more economical to make it in bulk via knoevanagel condensation of benzaldehyde and nitroethane, and reduce the corresponding phenylnitropropene. Or react the P2NP with iron powder, a bit of ferric chloride, at 80 'C, either  in hydrochloric acid or glacial acetic acid to make P2P (1-phenyl-2-propanone, phenylacetone) and  reductively aminate this with methylamine to give meth, or ethylamine to give ethylamphetamine. Or form the ketoxime and reduce  with say, zinc dust and ammonium formate, or dissolve in absolutely anhydrous ethanol,under inert atmosphere,and slowly add sodium metal, in little pieces, cut up under paraffin just prior to use, adding the sodium to the ethanolic solution of P2P ketoxime. This, is called a Bouveault-Blanc reduction.

The products from P2NP, reductive amination of P2P  (although it's probably possible to employ some form of chirally directing catalyst for enantioenriched or enantioselective synthesis) produces racemic products however, although the laevo-meth can be removed and recycled to make P2P to be reacted again, crystallization with D-tartaric  acid, selectively forms crystals with the desirable D-isomer of  meth/ethamphetamine, a process called chiral resolution. Rather than solely making D-meth which results from reduction of ephedrine or pseudo.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #543 on: October 26, 2018, 07:14:05 AM »
13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favoUrite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #544 on: October 26, 2018, 08:27:41 AM »
Lestat - not sure of the rest of your post, but it's a federal law to require ID and be entered into a data base for pseudoephedrine purchases.  Obvious reason.
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #545 on: October 26, 2018, 08:28:01 AM »
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee was absent without giving any prior notice. Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whispered, "Hello."

"Is your Daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the little voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mommy and Daddy and the neighbours," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #546 on: October 27, 2018, 09:24:34 AM »
A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
 
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good tea kettle?” The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re small.”

 
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Lestat

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #547 on: October 27, 2018, 02:48:06 PM »
The rest of my post, QV, was an explanation, in brief of quite WHY it makes bollocks  all sense to have pharmacists on a bloody leash, yapping and rolling over on command. And having them play pig without badge.

One doesn't need  ephedrine/pseudo to make  meth. That red phosphorus/iodine (Nagai reduction) technique, its really a technique for end users, making for themselves, maybe a few family or friends, the odd party with hookers for those so inclined, in terms of scaling.

The real flood, is chinese pseudo being diverted or obtained legitimately  via front companies belonging to mexican cartel bosses, in the US at least. And running  mega-labs. They aren't fucking about extracting it from cold pills, they are buying it in the tonnage weights, and they sure as shit  won't be using red phosphorus and iodine, it just wouldn't be economical, or easy to control. Probably a process like going via chloroephedrine and catalytic hydrogenation. with Urushibara nickel, maybe Raney nickel.

That's IF they'd be using pseudo at all, IMO it'd be far easier to go via P2P and methylamine, form the imine and reduce, again, at the scales seen in mexi-meth superlabs, probably reducing the intermediate imine via catalytic hydrogenation.

There's a million and one different ways to skin the cat, so to speak, when it comes to making P2P, it isn't difficult to accomplish, in fact, if you challenged me to do it, I could have it done within a few hours. Add another half hour or so if  you said I make all my materials from the reagents I have to hand, right here, right now, rather than use ready made P2NP.

That does give a racemic product, going from the phenylacetone  (P2P routes) rather than the D-meth formed as an enantiopure product from pseudo/eph as feedstock,  but for those interested in quality over quantity then resolution of the product and recycling to form P2P again from the leftover laevo-methamphetamine (the sought after dopaminergic effects reside in the D-isomer of meth, of amphetamine and of ethylamphetamine, whilst the laevo-amphetamines are not recreational,they are just noradrenergic release-reuptake inhibitors)  is possible by selective crystallization using naturally sourced tartaric acid (natural, plant, animal etc. systems tend to be chirally selective rather than producing racemic forms of biomolecules, it's almost always enantiopure in fact, if you're grabbing it from a biological source, whatever 'it' might be.

Or, hell, to avoid pseudoephedrine purchase, one could go via l-phenacetylcarbinol as the intermediate, produced via a biosynthesis, using benzaldehyde as the starting precursor, and using normal brewer's yeast. Ideally encapsulated in calcium alginate microspheres prepared from a perfluorocarbon-H2O emulsion to improve oxygen transport.

Something like 10g/liter is possible with the right technique, and the resulting amphetamines, would bee enantiopure. In fact I know of at least one Bee who is working on just that, who's done it using biosynthesis with immobilized yeast and benzaldehyde as  feedstock. Benz is a bit hot to buy, although certainly a lot more available than the likes of red phosphorus (to most people), but it is used in synthetic almond essence. OR, one could buy paint strippers based on benzyl alcohol, the newer, more environmentally friendly crap we here in the UK are getting foisted on us instead of dichloromethane (bastards), and distill out the benzyl alcohol, followed by oxidizing it selectively to the aldehyde using activated manganese dioxide, which could be prepared from the manganese dioxide found in zinc-carbon type batteries, alkaline cells etc. Or  for the more adventurous, using reactions like  the Etard rxn, Collins reagent, the Jones oxidation, pyridinium chlorochromate, or, better than the Jones route, the Sarrett oxidation; to oxidize the benzyl alcohol to benzaldehyde.

At 10g product/liter, say you run ten, ten liter capacity fermenters with such a high efficiency process, thats 1kg right there. From benzaldehyde and yeast, plus nutrients, pyruvate, and vitamins, trace elements for the yeast to live on.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #548 on: October 27, 2018, 08:48:58 PM »
I know, Lestat.  I was just having a go at your verbosity.   :-*
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #549 on: October 28, 2018, 10:52:48 AM »
Q: Where do they hold prizefights in Fastfoodland?

A: In an onion ring!
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #550 on: October 30, 2018, 10:22:20 AM »
Dear Abby,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice.  I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'just some friends from work, you don't know them.' I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the golf shop where I bought it?

Thanks Jim
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #551 on: October 31, 2018, 01:26:10 PM »
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine? Because he was having a coffin fit.

What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put a goldfish brain in the body of his dog? I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

Why wasn'tthere any food left after the monster party?' Cos everyone was a goblin.

Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn? It was a stake sandwich.

Dracula decided he need a dog, which breed did he choose? A bloodhound.

What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?Halloween grave jokes A dead ringer.

What do skeletons always order at a restaurant? Spare ribs!

Who was the most famous French skeleton? Napoleon bone-apart.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #552 on: November 01, 2018, 05:26:13 PM »
On July 20, 1969, As Commander Of The Apollo 11 LunarModule, Neil Armstrong Was The First Person To Set Foot OnThe Moon.
His First Words After Stepping On The Moon,'that's One Small Step For Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind,'Were Televised To Earth And Heard By Millions.
But Just Before He Re-entered The Lander, He Made The EnigmaticRemark 'good Luck, Mr. Gorsky.'
Many People At Nasa Thought It Was A Casual Remark Concerning Some Rival Soviet Cosmonaut.However, Upon Checking, There Was No Gorsky InEither The Russian Or American Space Programs.
Over The Years Many People Questioned Armstrong As To What The 'good Luck, Mr. Gorsky'... Statement Meant, But Armstrong Always Just Smiled.
On July 5, 1995, In Tampa Bay , Florida , WhileAnswering Questions Following A Speech, A Reporter BroughtUp The 26 Year-old Question To Armstrong. This Time HeFinally Responded. Mr. Gorsky Had Died, So Neil ArmstrongFelt He Could Now Answer The Question.
In 1938, When Neil Was A Kid In A Small Mid-west Town , He WasPlaying Baseball With A Friend In The Backyard. His FriendHit The Ball, Which Landed In His Neighbor's Yard By TheirBedroom Window.
His Neighbors Were Mr. And Mrs. Gorsky.
As He Leaned Down To Pick Up The Ball, Young Armstrong Heard Mrs. Gorsky Shouting At Mr. Gorsky. 'sex, You Want Sex Now??!!'
You'll Get Sex When The Kid Next Door Walks On The Moon!'
True Story
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #553 on: November 01, 2018, 09:32:13 PM »
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/good-luck-mr-gorsky/

Good luck Mr Gorsky. Unfortunately it's fake news.
“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #554 on: November 01, 2018, 10:10:41 PM »
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/good-luck-mr-gorsky/

Good luck Mr Gorsky. Unfortunately it's fake news.

What does Snopes know?  Trump says he was with Armstrong on the moon and HE says it's true.

Laugh anyway.  :LOL:
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv: