Two things, elle.
one-I was under the impression that we were meant to be treating each other as decent human beings, sans one of us giving the other overt provocation. I for one have gone out of my way to do so and resolve any conflict between us, something which any member who has access to the elders forum will back me up on. And I have done nothing whatsoever to attempt to aggravate you. So don't start shitstirring for the sake of shitstirring. For fucks sake I've even tried to be helpful, in offering what input I could in your depression thread. So there is really no need for that shit.
Considering quite how far out of my way I have gone to resolve conflict between us, and the effort I've put in to doing so, you owe me an apology. And besides, I'm not a fucking junkie in the first place. Or do you just treat any and every chronic pain patient like shit? How about if you ever get a therapy client who's depressed due to enduring severe pain? what would you do then? how would you act towards that person? lie on your back, open your crack and piss between their eyes? Its one thing for somebody to lie, cheat people, steal etc. to fund a habit on something, but quite another, whether they have a recreationally-derived habit, or are physically dependent on pain medication prescribed, or even both yet have done no man any harm as a result.
Do you think I CHOSE to fall on a nearly foot-long upward-pointing spike of broken glass and have it go straight through my patellar tendon and snap off, leaving it right in the joint, and have, when I was young enough not to have a mobile phone for many years, with which I could have called for an ambulance, to pull it out as far as I could and break it off then WALK home with it in there before I could get transport to hospital? you think I asked for that? you think I WANTED to get jumped by a pack of 20-odd chav trash, have my kneecaps and face stamped on and left for dead in the street not long after I got off the crutches from the emergency surgery I had to get the glass out of my knee (or most of it at least, there was some left behind for years, along with fragments of bone, resulting in partial calcification of the tendon)
If that had happened to you, elle, and you'd for many years been denied any pain relief bar paracetamol on grounds of your age (which, if you were unaware, is actually officially advised NOT to be a deciding factor in prescription of pain relief, at least in the UK, in the BNF) and that paracetamol has no effect on you, you think you wouldn't BEG for relief of many years of constant, unremitting, crippling agony? how about when its changed the way you bear weight on that leg, and as a result you end up with trochanteric bursitis in both hips, which is even more painful than the original injury? or if thats not bad enough, what about having surgery to remove the bone fragments and glass flitters that weren't gotten out first time round, which failed and instead left you with nerve damage instead, of a nature that not only leaves your leg without sensation bar the one and only thing you can feel there being severe, constant burning and pain, but causes your lower leg, in the calf muscle to contract without being able to recover from the contractive signal, the consequence being cramp of a severity you've got no idea is even possible until you have experienced it yourself.
Without being on the pain meds I'm on, I'd barely be able to go to the nearest goddamn shop to buy food, I'd not be able to sleep, because otherwise I cannot lie down either on my back, or either side without my hips feeling like somebody was hammering red hot nails into the bone. And thats not even mentioning that I was nearly blinded with corrosive alkali. Know how painful that is? to have your cornea scorched by boiling hot base [a mixture of] with neutral, but gritty ammonium salts in it, blasted into your face hard enough to knock goggles off your face?
Would you tell your doctor 'no, doc, I'd rather not have any respite from my constant horrendous pain and go without sleep, have next to sod all mobility and be in agony all day, every day; than take any pain-meds' ? or would you accept them the first change you got, after more than a decade of exactly that? fucking horse shit you would. In such a situation there is a tradeoff you have to make. Take the med/s and have mobility, not be in so much pain as to be constantly miserable and depressed and have fuck all quality of life, or sacrifice all those things just so you don't become physically dependent on picking up a regular repeat prescription?
Because my injuries aren't going to heal. Paracetamol has never done anything for me for any purpose bar fever reduction, it doesn't do anything for any kind or extent of pain, it never has, even when added to an IV drip line in hospital, I have steroid shots into the joints as often as they are allowed me, and those help some, but mostly with physical mobility of the hips, ability to lie down, mostly. And whilst I can, conditionally on my taking a cocktail of about 8-10 different meds to protect my stomach, use topical NSAID gel [diclofenac], I can't use oral non-steroidal antiinflammatory drugs because of GI tract issues, not halfarsed stomach ache, but issues that have put me in hospital vomiting blood and bile, in the fucking ER.
So before you decide to bitch somebody out, just stop and think for a moment. Especially when they have gone out of their way, big time, to resolve any past conflict, offered the olive-branch of, if not friendship on your part, then at least mutual peace and actively attempt to be helpful. Just because you are suffering from depression does not for a minute justify your projecting; to the effect of your being a total cunt to other people who've done nothing to you. What would you expect if you treated your therapy patients that way, elle?
You'd probably lose your damn job, and whats more you would fucking deserve it. Want to bitch somebody out? pick on somebody that has done something to earn it. And that somebody, is not me.
Point 2- I defy you to counter the statement I made in a factual manner. Go on elle. Present evidence that what I said is not truth. If you cannot, then you are an tool. If you can do so but WILL not, then you are an ignorant fucking whorebegotten bitch.
