I probably need to learn to drive at some point. Any other spazzy people here who
manage to keep it together in traffic? If so, how do you do it? Does practice really help?
I sort of do it. I can drive, but someone once told me I look like a scared deer while doing it. I was in an unfamiliar downtown area with lots of tangled streets, leaning forward and hunched, staring with big eyes out the windshield. I've gotten a lot better with time, but it's a slow process and I still piss off the people I'm with by not being able to parse words and road signs at the same time. ("I told you to turn at the next light! You said okay! So why did you turn down here??")
My recommendation would be to learn from a friend, not a driver's ed instructor, because they won't take the spazziness into account and will try to force you out of your comfort zone too quickly. I first tried to learn from my dad when I was 18 or so. That lasted all of two sessions. He had no patience as a teacher and very little tolerance for mistakes. It's not a good combination when someone is anxious you're going to damage their car. I also had three sessions with a driver's instructor, who took me out on a highway in the second session and scared the shit out of me, but brushed off the fear like it was stupid. So I stopped trying and just kept renewing my learner's permit time after time.
A few years later I tried again with a boyfriend. He was amazingly calm and patient, and basically talked me down like a scared animal, and it was one of the coolest things he did for me. That was when I actually learned and got my license.