Pastor calls women “penis homes”

[Parts]

Evangelical megachurch begins closing branches after pastor calls women “penis homes”

The Washington-based evangelical megachurch Mars Hill is shutting (some of) its doors. Following controversy over founder Mark Driscoll’s well-documented homophobic and sexist remarks, church officials announced over the weekend that they would be closing several of Mars Hills 15 Pacific Northwest branches, citing financial difficulties caused by “negative media attention.” Several staff and clergy members have also been laid off. At the end of last month, Driscoll himself announced that he would be taking a six-week-long leave of absence.

 

   The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may seem, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.

    While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in. Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.

Oh, and in case you’re a dude who finds yourself thinking that your hand or maybe another dude would make for a good home, here’s some Driscoll-authored homophobia to counter that thought:

    Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home. But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.

  Link

 

No it's not an Onion story the link is to  Salon  I thought it was fake too but it checks out.   You just can't make this shit up

[Yuri Bezmenov]

This dude should be made President.   

[Parts]

This dude should be made President.   

I was thinking this would have been a good religion for you if you were not an atheist

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Well, sort of. I would encourage homosexuality because that means more poon for me. 

[Parts]

I found this tidbit while checking to see if it was a real story in another article

This is not your ordinary bad press. In fact, this isn’t even just heathens like me being unfamiliar with the Traditional Christian Ways of the especially holy. This is a dude who told a congregant to apologize to her abusive husband for “failing to bend to his will” by getting on her knees before him and praying, and then giving him a blow job.

Link 

[RageBeoulve]

PASTOR calls WOMEN

Stopped caring when I came across those two words. A dumbass that believes in space zombies tries to put a label on the most melodramatic and trendy "issue" in western society. DA FEMALE GENDER OMG.

Yeah, what the fuck ever. Shutup, pastor. Shutup, feminism. 

YOU. ARE. FAGGOTS.

[Semicolon]

Evangelical megachurch begins closing branches after pastor calls women “penis homes”

The Washington-based evangelical megachurch Mars Hill is shutting (some of) its doors. Following controversy over founder Mark Driscoll’s well-documented homophobic and sexist remarks, church officials announced over the weekend that they would be closing several of Mars Hills 15 Pacific Northwest branches, citing financial difficulties caused by “negative media attention.” Several staff and clergy members have also been laid off. At the end of last month, Driscoll himself announced that he would be taking a six-week-long leave of absence.

 

   The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may seem, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.

    While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in. Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.

Oh, and in case you’re a dude who finds yourself thinking that your hand or maybe another dude would make for a good home, here’s some Driscoll-authored homophobia to counter that thought:

    Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home. But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.

  Link

 

No it's not an Onion story the link is to  Salon  I thought it was fake too but it checks out.   You just can't make this shit up

I found this tidbit while checking to see if it was a real story in another article

This is not your ordinary bad press. In fact, this isn’t even just heathens like me being unfamiliar with the Traditional Christian Ways of the especially holy. This is a dude who told a congregant to apologize to her abusive husband for “failing to bend to his will” by getting on her knees before him and praying, and then giving him a blow job.

Link 

So a mouth is also a penis home? Does that mean that gay blowjobs are encouraged?

[Queen Victoria]

Just one more damn thing we have to keep clean.  Thanks Driscoll.

[Gopher Gary]

A man's home is his penis castle. 

[RageBeoulve]

 

[Lestat]

What a cretinous, inbred sack of fermented dog spunk.

Somebody needs to inject this fuckwit moron with cancer cells and leave him to die in a sewer full of ordure, rotting diapers and diseased, blood-soaked tampons that got flushed down the crapper alongside him.

He is just further polluting the paddling pool section of the gene pool with a frothy, stinking lake of greasy, putrid floaters. Stupid fuckin' demagogic dog-masturbator that he is.


God must have an awful lot of knobends if what this bible-thumping faggot has been carping on about is even a thousandth of a percentage point nearer to accuracy than to being a complete and utter fucking imbecile, then just how many goddamned dicks does He have? if all dicks are gods dicks, judging by the number of both penii and total dicks I alone have noted the existence of, busily infesting the planet with such dick-slobbering septic hemorrhoids  as battyman, politicians and islam-masturbator gobshite freaks then he must have mastered technology able to create and stabilize his own bloody pocket dimension (see what I did there???) within which to store said exponentially expanding (get what I did here too?) collection of severed male organs. Must cost him a fortune in formalin!

We have all heard the phrase 'its the dogs bollocks'. In this case, it must be more a case of 'the gods bollocks'

[Icequeen]

But if you're not married wouldn't that be more like renting? After all you're giving it back.
Vibrators are like...playing house...or are you remodeling the home?


What a nimrod. 

[Pyraxis]

I can't believe there are tens of thousands of people who follow these nimrods.

[Icequeen]

Driscoll’s probably driving a Fiat.

[Queen Victoria]

Driscoll’s probably driving a Flat.

fixed