I think a big think is to be able to listen. Ask questions to people about them and their interests. I became very good listener and rememberer of details. People love that. I also find that being genuine and honest with people is good. People will be ok with you making mistakes if you are honest with them but you be sneaky and deceptive then even accidentally fucking up will hurt them more.
Me too. Being able to remember details also tends to impresse girls (and added plus).
But I slightly disagree with the 'keep yourself to yourself'. I did that a lot, and on the surface my social interactions went along quite well...except that I shifted from crowd to crowd with "too much" ease (I felt guilty about getting close, and then abandoning groups). I realized one day that I tend to get in a position where I know a shitton more about the company I keep than anyone knows about my real interests, and things important to me.
That sucks because if I ever want to have a frank conversation I don't know how...
So on the one hand, if you can get real good at mirroring other people then the social interactions go well, but on the other hand if you don't learn how to initiate an honest exchange about yourself, you may end up feeling constantly out of place and unsure of your footing in any 'relationship' (by relationship I am talking about friends, acquaintances, etc).
That's pretty much where I am at...trying to be more open and honest...without being "too honest". I have
not struck the balance yet.
Just to clarify...my social interactions tended to be: I could listen and remember many things, so I could always ask the other person about things, and I like finding things (news stories, facts, etc) that I feel would interest them. I tend to learn about their interests on the side because I am curious, and then come back to them and make some comments about it in conversation. I also, during conversation, tend to do the sheldon factoid thingy, where I will say random things. This actually seemed to amuse people.
BUT, I can go a whole year knowing a person on a biweekly basis having nothing but those sorts of interactions...after a year suddenly they call me a good friend, and suddenly I realize they have no idea about me. When I started feeling lonely because of this, I decided I needed to foster better friendships...well fuck me because I was like a cat in water- skimpering and skampering all around, quickly noticing that things I experienced emotionally were not at all like things people expected or understood, and vice versa. (this was pre-aspie diagnosis). Naturally, those new types of relationships were stressful and disastrous. So then, thinking I would never 'figure it out', I just got depressed.
Well, after all that, I am now in the position where I am more optimistic, and much more careful about interactions...but as stated...I have not struck the balance and I have big issues with self-confidence.
I typed more than I thought I would...hopefully it is constructive.
