2012 - a retrospective

[odeon]

Adam, Butterflies and Shleed.

I've been starting what I thought were interesting/thoughtful/intense threads that might appeal to a younger crowd.  Evidently I'm way out of touch.  How about helping a rapidly aging Queen out here and start some threads that you think would work?

My apologies, Schleed, for misspelling your name.

Shleed is the correct spelling.

Okay?  Then why does it say Schleed?

Because I have an old account that was banned, which is named "Shleed".

What is "Shleed" anyway?

[odeon]

QV has pretty much nailed it.

And no. I havent pushed for another off-forum meet-up, although Schleed has created one, and I am a member.


Beyond that, what does it matter? MLA created graphs that showed the huge drop in activity. I gave my opinion on what I felt was part of the problem.
Are my opinions really so important that they warrant this level of scrutiny? Most of the time, when people cant understand the point Im trying to make, they give up after a couple of minutes and smile politely. Youre still going strong after a couple of days

You gave your opinion of MLA's graph and I've tried to understand what you were saying ever since. Do you think it's wrong of me to want that clarified? This is a site based on opinion and argument, in addition to boobs. What did you expect?

I'm glad you've finally admitted to pretty much what I said all along: it's about people, not age.

[odeon]

If we stop using the age thing, will that put an end to this ridiculous argument? I'm surprised any of you PREFER to be called boring than old - personlly I thought we were being more polite with "old"

I stick with the Retirement Home thing though, as that has struck me as being an accurate description of what this place generally is for quite a long time. I cant be arsed explaining it though as this isn't an argument Im particularly interested in, and I don't see why it matters

For what it's worth, I've found this place a little more interesting over the last few days than I have over the rest of the last yeaer, but still not enough for me to stick around or get drawn into it if I wasn't already so used to being here

It matters because if you are a member of something you used to love but no longer really bother about, maybe, just maybe, things can be changed. Regardless of what some might think, I have no wish to unintentionally drive away people from this place.

For the record: I have no idea of what you people mean by "old-farty". If it's more or less what I label as "grumpy", then fine. With age seems to come cynicism, and that's what it is.

I am what I am, not much I can or want to do about it, but I don't expect anyone else to change either.

[odeon]

Beyond that, what does it matter?

I don't get why this has turned into such a big deal either. Im sure we allhave our opinions on why a forum dies down or gets boring (in our eyes). What's so controversial about saying it seems more like a retirement home?

If you think that is what it is about, you've missed pretty much the whole point.

[odeon]

I cant help but feel that this would have died down ages ago if it wasnt the fact that it was me who made the comment.

Pot kettle black. Would you have continued if it had been somebody else than me and Les replying?

[Queen Victoria]

Well, let me put my two cents in again.

Back in the old Intensity days we had nudes, dicks, sexual innuendo, teasing, etc.  Sort of a locker room mentality.  We also bashed (rightly or wrongly) richard, penty, razorbeard, etc.  We posted less about problems (Adam excepted) and had a more light-hearted attitude about the site. 

Could this be in part what people are missing? 

In my memory you posted quite a lot about your OCD and transexuality struggles.  Perhaps because I was new I wasn't aware of earlier members posts or names have changed and I'm just not connecting the new and old names.   

[bodie]

At times there has been a tendency to over analyse comments and pick them apart.   I know i will get accused of siding with the youth here so i am not going to go on about it too much.  However you justify the callouts, reprimands, or whatever i do feel it puts people off commenting.  Young people who may be on the spectrum or who may be nervous about voicing their opinions anyway just won't bother if they think they will get torn apart.

Perhaps i just mean  'lighten up, everyone'

When i joined spasticity there was one person that really shocked me.  Crip.  She hardly said a word here, and was very reserved.  However,  she was totally different on spasticity.  She proved to be a real Miss Personality.  A real lively, bright young person who was full of ideas and new posts.  So, why was she not like that here?

[Al Swearegen]

Just so i think I know what you mean Butterflies.
The problem that you three members of this site have is that their are older people here, but some of those older people are fine.
That there has been some younger members who have left for various reason but not as to the age of people on here.
That you want it to change but do not wish to actually do anything to change it or suggest ways in which it ought to change
You believe that myself and Odeon are antagonistic towards you and ought not be...for some reason.
You believe that asking to have vague positions clarified is akin to being antagonistic
You seem to be pushing for another off-forum meet up for the younger members (like Spasticity and Zomgaspies) and denouncing IntensitySquared
You seem to say that You, Adam and Shleed may leave or cut back on posting....and we need to make things better for you if we want you to post more.
Is that the crux?

If so....I gotta say i am quite happy with the place. If you can give constructive advice on this place and be less vague that would be super. If you and whomever else want to leave or reduce your posting then OK.

Is that what I should have got out of all of this?

QV has pretty much nailed it.

And no. I havent pushed for another off-forum meet-up, although Schleed has created one, and I am a member.


Beyond that, what does it matter? MLA created graphs that showed the huge drop in activity. I gave my opinion on what I felt was part of the problem.
Are my opinions really so important that they warrant this level of scrutiny? Most of the time, when people cant understand the point Im trying to make, they give up after a couple of minutes and smile politely. Youre still going strong after a couple of days

I dunno.

I think that a big part of the reason was that it was an opinion on the viability and value of the site which will always get my attention. Normally it is someone like Meadow saying "You guys are shit and your site is shit and it will burn in hell" kind of thing, which will get a reaction but a fairly dismissive one.
Something a little bit more reasoned will get a bit more input from me.

Another big part of it is that it was you and it was you seeming to indicate or infer something as what you were saying looked vague. So I was "(antagonistically"?) asking to clarify what you were saying and what you weren't.

A further part to things of course is I was having a bit of a deja vu moment.
It felt to me vaguely familiar.
You , Adam, Shleed.
Saying something against the oldies or the established senior members here or the site in general - due to these members
Promoting the younger members here
Suggesting an alternative to spending time elsewhere
Suggesting change here because the site is no good
All of this seemed like it happened once before. I trying to remember. I vaguely remember Squiddy and Bint were involved and it was not quite as cordial.

All good though. That is just an answer to what you asked.
I guess if anyone leaves they can. I guess if anyone wants to post the kind of things they like posting, then that is ok too. I guess if anyone wants to do their own thing that is cool too. No one here is responsible for anyone else or is ultimately responsible for anyone's enjoyment.
I think if someone wants to see more jokes they ought to start posting more and get the ball rolling
If someone wants to see more nudes, then they ought to star posting more and get the ball rolling
If someone wants to see more teasing then they should start......you could start teasing me for example. 

[bodie]

All good though. That is just an answer to what you asked.
I guess if anyone leaves they can. I guess if anyone wants to post the kind of things they like posting, then that is ok too. I guess if anyone wants to do their own thing that is cool too. No one here is responsible for anyone else or is ultimately responsible for anyone's enjoyment.
I think if someone wants to see more jokes they ought to start posting more and get the ball rolling
If someone wants to see more nudes, then they ought to star posting more and get the ball rolling
If someone wants to see more teasing then they should start......you could start teasing me for example. 

I can dig this!

[Al Swearegen]

At times there has been a tendency to over analyse comments and pick them apart.   I know i will get accused of siding with the youth here so i am not going to go on about it too much.  However you justify the callouts, reprimands, or whatever i do feel it puts people off commenting.  Young people who may be on the spectrum or who may be nervous about voicing their opinions anyway just won't bother if they think they will get torn apart.

Perhaps i just mean  'lighten up, everyone'

When i joined spasticity there was one person that really shocked me.  Crip.  She hardly said a word here, and was very reserved.  However,  she was totally different on spasticity.  She proved to be a real Miss Personality.  A real lively, bright young person who was full of ideas and new posts.  So, why was she not like that here?

I dunno. Have you asked her? I reckon that is probably best, because I can't guess.

I am fine Bodie, I do not need to lighten up. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I am analytical by nature. Some older aspies are like that. Some older aspies love challenging and being challenged for their beliefs. It is part of their nature and personality.
Consider  someone who is fairly intelligent, a bit of a control freak, unable to easily negotiate abstract concepts, an information seeker, perhaps a little inflexible and not that empathetic. Imagine someone like this may have grown up in a time where diagnosis were not prevalent and they grew to be confident and assertive, yet with these deeply entrenched traits
Imagine they found a site encouraging the challenging and defending of ideas.

This is - I would have thought - pretty textbook adult aspie behaviour. Yes?
Does it go both ways that attaching possible personality traits, because of aspergers, in the young, to point fingers at the older, apply equally in the example I just gave of an older adult with aspergers?

[bodie]

I don't really care to be honest.  I don't spend that much time here.  I was just making a suggestion as to why young people don't seem to be coming here in droves.

It really is the membership that is here that dictates the atmosphere.  If that is not an atmosphere that suits young people then i guess they need to find somewhere else.  As they have been trying to.

I see it as a kind of like it or lump it thing and i can't muster any energy to try and change it.  So, am lumping it i guess.  My two penneth worth.  Nearly didn't bother.  Just killing some time.

[Al Swearegen]

I don't really care to be honest.  I don't spend that much time here.  I was just making a suggestion as to why young people don't seem to be coming here in droves.

It really is the membership that is here that dictates the atmosphere.  If that is not an atmosphere that suits young people then i guess they need to find somewhere else.  As they have been trying to.

I see it as a kind of like it or lump it thing and i can't muster any energy to try and change it.  So, am lumping it i guess.  My two penneth worth.  Nearly didn't bother.  Just killing some time.

Ok. But why are they "leaving in droves"?

Was that why binty left? No.
Was that why Calvera left? No
Was that why Eris left? No.

Who are the young people leaving in droves? If this place does not suit everyone, fair enough. If it is more than this, ought we ask questions and examine or is asking such questions bad form? Is vague answers worth clarifying or are they better left?
Is it suggestable that the older people are somehow at fault for younger people leaving and if so, how? (By being old, is not any constructive answer nor is by behaving their age that helpful.)
I am actually finding that the more that is alluded to the more questions it opens. None of it seems really that clear.
It is all about a person's age....but it really isn't.
It is the type of threads that are posted....but then were that really the case then the person wanting those threads would have posted.
It is about young people leaving over the same reason (older members?)....but they seem to leave for a variety of different reasons
Then when I question these kinds of things I am spending too much time on it or being overly analtyical or antagonistic.

What gives?

[Pyraxis]

I don't get why this has turned into such a big deal either. Im sure we allhave our opinions on why a forum dies down or gets boring (in our eyes). What's so controversial about saying it seems more like a retirement home?

If you think that is what it is about, you've missed pretty much the whole point.

What are you saying it's about?


Edited to fix the quotes

[bodie]

Heyyy, i never said 'leaving in droves'  i did say they weren't joining in droves.  It was in the thread that members see when they become elders.  I forget the name of it.  I know someone posted in there just to say how quiet it was.

I really don't think age is relevant.  Or a problem.   Not even sure about what the problem is or if it even exists.   Just responding as it seems to be there for some.

I am off to play some fb games.

[Al Swearegen]

Heyyy, i never said 'leaving in droves'  i did say they weren't joining in droves.  It was in the thread that members see when they become elders.  I forget the name of it.  I know someone posted in there just to say how quiet it was.

I really don't think age is relevant.  Or a problem.   Not even sure about what the problem is or if it even exists.   Just responding as it seems to be there for some.

I am off to play some fb games.

I am frustrated. I will not lie. I am not frustrated with you or Butterflies or Adam.
I am not angry nor am i upset.
I really kind of hoped that this would have made some sense to me. Not any one post but perhaps 6 or 7 pages later after having read everything, thought hard about it, compared it to what had previously been written, knowing the history of what had happened before, and in being a members here....still no fucking clue.
My tenacity is the reason I am still trying to nut it out.
I don't even know if there is more than one premise or a main issue. No fucking idea.