Reddit’s “What Secret Could Ruin Your Life if It Came Out?” Thread

[El]

A recent AskReddit thread titled Throwaway time! What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out? got people creating temporary accounts, then confessing their deepest, darkest secrets. The results ranged from creepy-but-cute, to fascinating, to horrifying.

I hope to walk you through that gigantic thread, because there were so many weird confessions, and browsing the comments on Reddit is time-consuming. Consider this a highlight reel of car crashes, I guess. I’m your Virgil, guiding you through Hell and Purgatory. I’m not condoning any of this, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t fascinating.

Another thing about this thread: It’s uncommon to see this level of honesty anywhere. People created (relatively) anonymous accounts and dumped their secrets onto the internet for everyone to see, with many posters saying they’d never shared their secrets with anyone before. This thread was exhausting to read, and with recent research suggesting that we, as people, carry secrets not just as emotional burdens, but as physical ones as well, at least now I understand why.

From here on out, things are about to get dark and/or gross. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.  Read the whole thing here.

["couldbecousin"]

 When I was 13, I owned, and wore, a disco scarf.  Please don't tell anybody! 

[Zippo]

i once had sex with a sheep.


i know someones going to quote this and its going to come back and bite me in the ass later.

[Queen Victoria]

i once had sex with a sheep.


i know someones going to quote this and its going to come back and bite me in the ass later.

Don't worry.  If the sheep does come back and bite you in the ass you can't catch anything from a sheepbite.  Now cows on the other hand............

[Zippo]

i once had sex with a sheep.


i know someones going to quote this and its going to come back and bite me in the ass later.

Don't worry.  If the sheep does come back and bite you in the ass you can't catch anything from a sheepbite.  Now cows on the other hand............

oh i invite the resedent cow to bite me on the ass... after all i doubt shes desiesed. i dont think she is the town bycicle.

["couldbecousin"]

i once had sex with a sheep.


i know someones going to quote this and its going to come back and bite me in the ass later.

Don't worry.  If the sheep does come back and bite you in the ass you can't catch anything from a sheepbite.  Now cows on the other hand............

oh i invite the resedent cow to bite me on the ass... after all i doubt shes desiesed. i dont think she is the town bycicle.

 It's human bites you have to watch out for, they are the dirtiest! 

[Zippo]

i once had sex with a sheep.


i know someones going to quote this and its going to come back and bite me in the ass later.

Don't worry.  If the sheep does come back and bite you in the ass you can't catch anything from a sheepbite.  Now cows on the other hand............

oh i invite the resedent cow to bite me on the ass... after all i doubt shes desiesed. i dont think she is the town bycicle.

 It's human bites you have to watch out for, they are the dirtiest! 

its true!

[Kapkao]

I wonder if any of these anonymous posters realize a 'confession' of a crime is hardly enough to convict a person with.

It doesn't establish a guilty criminal "beyond reasonable doubt" because of how easy it is to give a false confession to protect a friend or to put Double Jeopardy into effect by the time the cops and feds figure out you aren't the actual perp behind a given crime. So... confessions are rarely enough to go to trial.

Frankly, if I killed someone because they abused me or did something I took violent exception to, I wouldn't bother with concealing my identity before confessing about it.

As it happens, I have nothing on my hands, not even a single drop of blood. Doesn't mean I couldn't take part in an event like this, but I've yet to kill or let anyone die from their own illness.

[Icequeen]

Started reading the original thread. Very interesting.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/

 

[Peter]

I approve of this.

[Jesse]

I read a little bit of it.

[Callaway]

That story about the landlord's son who had stuffed a rag in the end of the water heater vent but forgot to remove it and the whole house died of CO poisoning was really interesting, especially when someone looked up the story online and found that someone had accidentally left the car running in the garage and that was the cause of the CO poisoning, not him leaving the rag stuffed in the water heater vent.  He had been blaming himself for the tragedy.

[Peter]

I've got 2,226 comments left to read.

[TheoK]

That I'm a Bolshevik in disguise

[Trigger 11]

Being someone who basically doen't give a shit about his own image, there is nothing I have done in my life that I feel would ruin me. Mistakes? Sure! But I own my mistakes.

Now if anybody wants to use me to do somwthing that would embarrass them horribly, just give me a call:

1-212-498-1043