Funny Hate Mail

[Bastet]

One of the the things I am obsessed with is funny hate mail. I love unintentional humor. It is the best kind.

Hatemail from ebaumsworld:

Dear EBaum -- Now I don't want to sound rude, but I think that your rude comments toward fat people are out of line. Your unkind remarks really make me wonder what kind of person you really are. Have you ever heard of being politically correct? I am a large woman, and all my life I have been tormented by people like yourself. I have finally begun to come to terms with it, and now you once again make me shutter with feelings of doubt for myself. If you spent less time insulting large woman with your derogatory insinuations and more on overcoming your macho chauvinistic complex then I promise you will be a better person. Unfortunately people like you would never admit to such a loathsome acquisition and at the same time tear at my self confidence. I resent you and your web site for intruding upon my civil liberties and if you don't stop being so obsene I will be forced to take further action. Yours sincerely, Ms Lardley.

i rally tink dat your site ish offenzive anD i tink u shuld rally tone it down little bit you know what im say? i dink dat yor shite iz fery fery stopid and it shald be taakn down. i am a serios !! u a fokin porvert!!!! u a modda fokka!! dan you ebaum!! u fookkin suck!! dere are many very tingz wrong with yor site!! nekked girrllies is one!! wy yor site have many nekked nekked garrlies?!? dar are meny meny nekkid mans too!! your of homosekshual too!?! u stopid!! i hate u!! wy do u fun make ugly people?!!? wy?!?! i say to my bestfriend go to yor site and he think it is sick very very!!! YOO BAGHSNIGA NAGGA KALKA MIIKO LAGGOKTA!! MOGA NAGKAL UP SHEEK!! ha ha yor of englichE language, no standunder burman!! gay gay gya gyagayayay!! im go now!! fok u beech!! kiss ass mine!!

I am ashamed to be a member of the human race after viewing your site. You are a very sick, destined for hell individual. I would pray for you, but that would be a complete waste of my time. I am a pastor of a church (Gospel Outreach Christian Assembly) and am going to start a campaign against your site. I cannot help to refrain from saying that Satan just might hold your heart and one day you will reap the rewards from what you now sew. The question I ask myself is how could you or any human being watch a video based on human excrement and feces. You must have had a very hard childhood. Think of all the small children you are offending? I was shown in a dream that you will die this year, a painful death, and then be transported to hell. If you want forgiveness, just ask. Or else meet your fate this year. Judging by your website, you obviously do not have the mental capacity to mount any sort of defense against me, so I will not bother to go on. Do the world a favor and mend you ways.

let's see ...you don't like reggae....the Mexican guy stunk by a bee is suddenly a black guy....U think it wouldn't be as funny if it was any other person who got stunk....but a Negro with extra big lips will surely be funny..: Its a funny world we live in when people like you (u know what i mean) start to make fun of others. Listen carefully you pathetic genetic garbage.....: I am a negro...who occasionally get a w**** bitch to suck my dick....I also have few like you working for me....and u know what ...I didn't even know how to speak English 5 years ago.........:.....Know your negroes apart fool....cause this one just left his little village in Africa and come to claim you hard working sheeps......I would have quietly stayed in my little village......but nooo ....you ...numerous rounded up cowards from all over Europe in dog's uniform had to ruin the my party.....you even managed to slave some of my brothers for a while....(remember the Jewish were slaved for milleniumssssss.....they were white*....).................Now am pierced offf...I want nothing more than my dick up your **************.......pregnant them and .......NEXT!!!!!...... You are thinking....they are physically stronger soooo they cannot be smarter.........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU ARE AS MENTALLY WEAK AS YOU ARE PHYSICALLY ............. REMEMBER THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please feel free to post any more you find on the internet!

[Parts]

People who write hate mail need to take a step back and read it when they are not so worked up or it turns out like this

[Bastet]

This one was particularly precious. Written by an ex Clay Aiken fan after his coming out.

From The Clayboard:

This is an extremely upsetting time for me, so this will be my last post on this board, or any other Clay board... because the music and a part of me died yesterday.

Like so many of his fans, I have invested over five years of promoting him in every way I knew how, especially to young people, including my three young nephews and four teenage nieces. But he lied to us for those five years... presenting himself as someone that he is the very opposite of.

I have lost all respect for him... I will never be able to look at him the same again.

I will never be able to listen to him sing, "O Holy Night," knowing he desires unholy nights.

And watching him "come out" while hiding himself behind that poor little baby was utterly disgusting.

For all his talk about his personal life being off limits, he the one who has put it out there front and center, and has become just another advocate for legitimizing this abomination.

Every day families across this country are bombarded with this so-called alternative lifestyle being shoved down our throats... on television, in music, and in print. But it will forever be abnormal, perverse, and a subject of ridicule. And all the charity work in the world won't change that fact.

Today, if you say homosexual behavior is wrong, some people will label you homophobic, or say that you are judgmental. So be it, I know Who has the last word on this, and that word won't change with the times.

And he may be hailed by the majority of his fanbase, as well as the media, and Hollywood... but I can guarantee you that there are many families in this nation who are devastated by this "coming out."Mine is one of them. They don't post on boards and forums, but they were his fans just the same.

And my family have thrown away our massive amount of Clay CDs, DVDs, and memorabilia, which we had accumulated since he was AI. I've deleted the many Gbs of his videos from my computer, and I'm now in the process of saying goodbye to the Clay boards where I am a member.

My family and I have taken and defended our last "revelation" from Clay Aiken.

Mods, please delete my account immediately... thank you.

In bold is my favorite part.

This one was from a Clay Aiken fan before his coming out.

Galleryoftheabsurd.com:

If your intent was to demonstrate some 'slap-stick' type of humour at the expense of Clay Aiken and Clay's fans, you blew it, IMHO. You have now put yourself in the ranks of Perez Hilton, John Paulus, the National Enquirer ..and, that 'dlister' of infamy, Kathy Griffin...as well as the entire gay community. Congratulations. Not bad for a representative of the New York Times [huh?] I'm sure your paper is happy to share this exciting image with those wondrous personages mentioned above. [my paper? what is she talking about??]

If you based this story on 'this dlisted entry', as you claimed at the end of your article..and which is very obvious...you've contributed to inciting hate and perversity and directly, quite likely, to the traumatization of young teens who could very likely be attracted to this article...innocently linked to your spoof. Again, I must congratulate you. You must feel really clean inside exposing them to the mechanics of 'gay sex' as the responders to your 'article of inspiration' so explicitly described.

The offending piece mentioned in the letter.
http://www.galleryoftheabsurd.com/2008/08/clay-aiken-fans.html

[RageBeoulve]

I have a cache of this kind of stuff somewhere. I can't remember what I did with it, but when I do, it'll be in this thread.

[Meadow]

There is no bigger sin than saying the word fat in front of a fat person. And fat bullies are the worst. I've been bullied by a few in real life. They absolutely hate thin people or those I have met do. I'm no longer sympathetic to their self-indulgent cause. For every other misfortune, I do sympathize. Fat people do after all bring it upon themselves, and want a lot of pity for it too.

[Tequila]

There is no bigger sin than saying the word fat in front of a fat person.

Or in saying the word 'Paki' in front of a Pakistani?

[Meadow]

There is no bigger sin than saying the word fat in front of a fat person.

Or in saying the word 'Paki' in front of a Pakistani?

That's racist. I'm opposed to racism.

[Meadow]

Hey DFG, what about posting that pic? I'm sure that person wouldn't appreciate that, either.

[Bastet]

Hey DFG, what about posting that pic? I'm sure that person wouldn't appreciate that, either.

That picture is already viewable on ebaumsworld.com. Idk who the guy is, never met him. He's been stung all over his face and is unrecognizable.

[Meadow]

Hey DFG, what about posting that pic? I'm sure that person wouldn't appreciate that, either.

That picture is already viewable on ebaumsworld.com. Idk who the guy is, never met him. He's been stung all over his face and is unrecognizable.

I guess he put the pic up himself, who knows. It looks seriously painful.

[Bastet]

There is no bigger sin than saying the word fat in front of a fat person. And fat bullies are the worst. I've been bullied by a few in real life. They absolutely hate thin people or those I have met do. I'm no longer sympathetic to their self-indulgent cause. For every other misfortune, I do sympathize. Fat people do after all bring it upon themselves, and want a lot of pity for it too.

Not all fat people are like that, but an AFF member Violet Yoshi is really pushy about "fat acceptance" and tends to shove it down people's throats. She hates fat jokes. Vampslord who is also fat has no problem with jokes no matter how off color. His view is if we get so pc about stuff like that it is like showing that group that is being made fun of is some baby who needs to be coddled. I don't care about fat jokes. I also make jokes about skinny people. Same thing really. Why should it only be ok to make jokes about skinny people, anyway?

[Meadow]

There is no bigger sin than saying the word fat in front of a fat person. And fat bullies are the worst. I've been bullied by a few in real life. They absolutely hate thin people or those I have met do. I'm no longer sympathetic to their self-indulgent cause. For every other misfortune, I do sympathize. Fat people do after all bring it upon themselves, and want a lot of pity for it too.

Not all fat people are like that, but an AFF member Violet Yoshi is really pushy about "fat acceptance" and tends to shove it down people's throats. She hates fat jokes. Vampslord who is also fat has no problem with jokes no matter how off color. His view is if we get so pc about stuff like that it is like showing that group that is being made fun of is some baby who needs to be coddled. I don't care about fat jokes. I also make jokes about skinny people. Same thing really. Why should it only be ok to make jokes about skinny people, anyway?

I'm not a big fan of jokes to begin with. I like comedians and good comedy though.

[Bastet]

There is no bigger sin than saying the word fat in front of a fat person.

Or in saying the word 'Paki' in front of a Pakistani?

Or worse yet to an Afghan or an Indian.