Authentic Roman humour, translated poems by
CatullusHere he ridicules some of Caesar's male lovers:
54. Oh Caesar! : of Otho’s headOtho’s head is quite tiny,
and it’s owner’s legs loutishly unclean,
soft and delicate is Libo’s farting:
if not with all that, then let me displease you
with Sufficio, old age renewed...
again let my worthless iambics
rile you, our one and only general.
Here he shows his despise for some guy who gets plenty of women although being disgusting and having a very foul mouth:
97. Disgusting: to AemiliusI did not (may the gods love me) think it mattered,
whether I might be smelling Aemilius’s mouth or arse.
The one’s no cleaner, the other’s no dirtier,
in fact his arse is both cleaner and nicer:
since it’s no teeth. Indeed, the other has
foot long teeth, gums like an old box-cart,
and jaws that usually gape like the open
cunt of a pissing mule on heat.
He fucks lots of women, and makes himself out
to be charming, and isn’t set to the mill with the ass?
Shouldn’t we think, of any girl touching him,
she’s capable of licking a foul hangman’s arse?
Another guy with a terrible breath:
98. Well Armed: to VictiusAbout you, if anyone, Stinking Victius, can be said
what they say of the verbose and fatuous.
With that tongue, if the need arose,
you could lick arses, and leather-soled sandals.
If you want to destroy us completely, Victius,
gape at us: what you desire you’ll wholly achieve.
