2
« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 72 73 [74] 75 76 ... 143   Go Down

Author Topic: make someone laugh, pt 2  (Read 51690 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1095 on: August 19, 2015, 04:57:47 PM »
boob joke and hungry baby
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Gopher Gary

  • sockpuppet alert!
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *
  • Posts: 12681
  • Karma: 652
  • I'm not wearing pants.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1096 on: August 19, 2015, 09:00:58 PM »
Logged
:gopher:

Offline renaeden

  • Complicated Case of the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 26159
  • Karma: 2536
  • Gender: Female
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1097 on: August 20, 2015, 11:36:36 PM »
^Makes me glad I don't have vocal tics.
Logged
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline QuéOnda

  • Frequent Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 176
  • Karma: -29
  • Gender: Male
  • Spam hunter
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1098 on: August 21, 2015, 02:58:23 PM »
More Anti-jokes:

What is black and white and red all over?
A pile of dead, mixed race babies.

Why did the blonde cross the road?
She was running from the man who was trying to rape her.

Knock knock
Who's there?
The police. I'm here to inform you that your entire family has been killed.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn?
First of all, neither dragons nor unicorns exist; so a dragon could not say anything to a unicorn. Second, in the fictitious stories in which dragons and unicorns exist, they do not talk, except in the most childish of cartoons. Thirdly, even if dragons and unicorns existed and talked, what would a purple even say to a unicorn? "Hello, I'm a purple dragon"? Give me a break.

What did the police officer say to the black man?
"Hello, I'm a police officer."

An Irishman walks into a bar and then realizes that he'd walked into the wrong establishment; so he left. (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

In other news, 100 posts. Yeah!
Logged
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)

Offline Arya Quinn

  • The Mad Queen
  • Elder
  • Dedicated Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 4126
  • Karma: 181
  • Gender: Female
  • UwU
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1099 on: August 22, 2015, 07:37:02 AM »


Following a hate group around with a comically large musical instrument.  :zoinks:
Logged

Offline Gopher Gary

  • sockpuppet alert!
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *
  • Posts: 12681
  • Karma: 652
  • I'm not wearing pants.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1100 on: August 22, 2015, 08:10:29 AM »
 :lol1:
Logged
:gopher:

Offline QuéOnda

  • Frequent Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 176
  • Karma: -29
  • Gender: Male
  • Spam hunter
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1101 on: September 06, 2015, 03:05:28 PM »

What's the difference between a truck full of ice cream and a truck full of 1,000 dead babies?
One is a truck full of a fun treat for kids. The other is a truck that is carrying away the product of a terrible accident.

Why didn't little billy cross the road?
Because he was dead.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is something that's fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
There was a pile of 1,000 dead babies blocking his way across the road.

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch?
six if you pack them in real tight!

Why was the boy sad?
There was a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.


Logged
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)

Offline QuéOnda

  • Frequent Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 176
  • Karma: -29
  • Gender: Male
  • Spam hunter
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1102 on: September 06, 2015, 05:50:19 PM »
How do you turn a broken skateboard into a Rolls Royce?
Magic.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Snickers bar?
About 500 calories.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.
Logged
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)

Offline MLA

  • Elitest Aspie of the Aspie Elite
  • Modulator
  • Dedicated Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 2847
  • Karma: 192
  • Gender: Male
  • The internet isn't a library, it's a stage.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1103 on: September 08, 2015, 08:47:15 AM »
I'm laughing on the inside  :M
Logged

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31602
  • Karma: 2544
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1104 on: September 08, 2015, 03:01:14 PM »
I laughed at this:
Logged
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 108911
  • Karma: 4482
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1105 on: September 08, 2015, 11:49:17 PM »
 :lol1:
Logged
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Bastet

  • Psychotic Mentally Deficient Deranged Bitch
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6007
  • Karma: 633
  • Gender: Female
  • MeOW!
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1106 on: September 09, 2015, 09:44:49 PM »
Logged
:kitten: OBSESSIVE AILUROPHILE :kitten:


It is far better for people to hate you for doing the right thing than for people to love you for doing the wrong thing. Never ever forget that.

Offline QuéOnda

  • Frequent Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 176
  • Karma: -29
  • Gender: Male
  • Spam hunter
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1107 on: September 10, 2015, 11:45:36 AM »
Why did the boy fall off the bicycle?
Someone threw a fridge at him.

How do you make a baby make a sound like a dog?
Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change it and one to hold the ladder steady while the other one is changing it.
Logged
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1108 on: September 10, 2015, 11:55:34 AM »
Ah, that reminds me. I need to change a light bulb, while there is still daylight. No idea where I left my torch.
Logged
Quote from: DirtDawg on July 05, 2016, 01:04:21 AM
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline QuéOnda

  • Frequent Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 176
  • Karma: -29
  • Gender: Male
  • Spam hunter
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1109 on: September 11, 2015, 08:48:38 PM »
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Drown it in vinegar

What is white and would kill you if it were dropped on you from a tree?
A refrigerator.

My mom always said it was fun to jump in a pile of leaves and play around. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 1,000 foot scorpion.
Logged
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)
Pages: 1 ... 72 73 [74] 75 76 ... 143   Go Up
« previous next »