The Importance of Being Jack

[Parts]

Do stay it's nice having you around 

[Osensitive1]

Adam made no such decision.

Ah, shit, wait. I thought you knew. I did make the decision to shut down zomg. About a month or so later, the host removed it as well (for "adult content" lol). I don't know if that was as a direct consequence of your report, but I doubt it. Either way it would have made no difference as I wouldn't have brought the site back afterwards. I might have considered it at the time, but with hindsight I can say I wouldn't have done

I dunno if you were around when Flake was attacking the site, but iirc he tried to report the place shitloads of times too, and nothing happened from it. I reckon unless someone reports cp, then they don't take it too seriously .

Regardless, whether you'd sent the report or not, I still would have shut down the site when I did. I'm genuinely sorry for the person who really did get a lot out of the place at the time, but it needed to end. It ran its course and went to shit long before I shut it down. I could name a few people who possibly contributed to that, including myself (for neglecting it towards the end), but I wouldn't include you in that list.

I don't think you are in any way responsible for the end of zomg, and I should know.

Thank you, Adam. There's really no around the fact, I'm responsible for your site being taken down. You maybe have made the decision to not bring it back, but it does me no good to speculate on what might have been different or the same if I hadn't been involved.

I know Sophie's words were immortalized there for you. It's so very sweet that you don't want me feel to blame. It means a lot to me that you feel that way; so I'll try to not dwell on that thought too much.

[Osensitive1]

I'm in a better frame of mind for responses today, so I'll get to those I missed yesterday, as well as the new posts in a bit.

[odeon]

Sorry, jack, but I just don't see it. Do you read what Adam wrote so differently from the rest of us? Do you feel it's necessary to punish yourself because you may have had a part in what Adam would have done anyway?

[Adam]

But even if you hadnt been involved, what would have been different? I still would have shut it down. In fact, irrc you were one of the good posters there when you were on it, so if anything surely things would have been WORSE if you hadnt been there?

No one can ever know how different things would have been, or what exactly their impact is on anything, however big or small, for better or worse. Maybe if I'd gone out today I'd have been hit by a bus. Or maybe I'd have had a great day and met someone cool. Maybe if I'd never met Sophie she wouldn't have ended up killing herself, or maybe she'd have done it earlier. You can never know how things would have been under different circumstances. But there's absolutely no reason to think that zomg would have stayed up if you hadn't been there

[Adam]

Sorry, jack, but I just don't see it. Do you read what Adam wrote so differently from the rest of us? Do you feel it's necessary to punish yourself because you may have had a part in what Adam would have done anyway?

Exactly. it would have happened anyway.

I think there are 3 important points here:

1. It was me who closed the place down, and not because of anything you said or did

2. even if it had been down to you - which it wasnt - your INTENTION when you reported it wasn't malicious towards me or any of the "innocent" members there. and that is what counts imo

and 3. it doesn't matter anymore. It's over

[Osensitive1]

Sorry, jack, but I just don't see it. Do you read what Adam wrote so differently from the rest of us? Do you feel it's necessary to punish yourself because you may have had a part in what Adam would have done anyway?

Not sure what was read differently. Adam said he had already made the decision. However, he didn't act on that decision; his site was taken down, then he made a decison. I think adam's very kind.

[odeon]

He would have. Don't you trust him to tell you the truth?

[Osensitive1]

If someone wrote out details of their fantasy of you being raped and murdered and you made a complaint about it, I think that if this caused a problem it would have been caused by the person doing that to you, not by you for complaining about it.

Also, I think that you absolutely have as much of a right to be here as anyone else does and I and many others would miss you if you left.

If it was Sol who said that about you, he said something similar about my daughter here, I think primarily to get a reaction from me and hoping I would ban him for it.  When he wasn't banned for that, he threatened the site.

Thanks, Callaway. I can't blame others for my reaction to them though, it's not my way.

[Adam]

No. No. No.

I DID take the site down.

Sorry, Jack, I wish I'd been clearer. I think you misunderstood.

What happened was I made the decision to take it down AND I then took it down. I didn't totally delete it, but I took it offline.

The host then deleted it a couple months later. Possibly because of your report, possibly not. I don't think it matters anymore though.

I did take it down myself though and I'm 99% sure I never would have put it back up.

[Osensitive1]

He would have. Don't you trust him to tell you the truth?

Of course I think adam's telling me the truth. In hindsight, he certainly would have.

[Osensitive1]

No. No. No.

I DID take the site down.

Sorry, Jack, I wish I'd been clearer. I think you misunderstood.

What happened was I made the decision to take it down AND I then took it down. I didn't totally delete it, but I took it offline.

The host then deleted it a couple months later. Possibly because of your report, possibly not. I don't think it matters anymore though.

I did take it down myself though and I'm 99% sure I never would have put it back up.

That scenereo isn't much better. It only brings this down to me and you. Did you still have access to read it when it was down and not deleted?

[Adam]

I only say in hindsight, because I can't know for sure that things would have changed, but I'm pretty certain I never would have brought back zomg.

And tbh, them deleting it probably did me a favour, because it took that ability away from me. It was hard to totally let go from the place because of the emotional investment I had in it, even though I had moved on from the past in a lot of ways.

But as Bint said, I don't need to keep records of old conversations to remember someone by. I have what I need and more. zomg may have had some good memories, but it also had a whole lot of shit ones, and I don't wanna feel tied down to something like that. I shut it down becuase I wanted to. I'm 99% sure I never would have brought it back, but even so, the deletion afterwards was probably a good thing as it took that out of my hands

[Osensitive1]

I know I've already told you, but if I were young I'd want to be your best friend. Thanks again, Adam.

[Adam]

No. No. No.

I DID take the site down.

Sorry, Jack, I wish I'd been clearer. I think you misunderstood.

What happened was I made the decision to take it down AND I then took it down. I didn't totally delete it, but I took it offline.

The host then deleted it a couple months later. Possibly because of your report, possibly not. I don't think it matters anymore though.

I did take it down myself though and I'm 99% sure I never would have put it back up.

That scenereo isn't much better. It only brings this down to me and you. Did you still have access to read it when it was down and not deleted?

No. But I don't need to. I have memories, I have communication with family members, I have letters I've kept and things like that. For me, it would be a bad sign if I started re-reading over old posts from 4 years ago now. I don't need all that.

Totally different situation but, earlier this year I was helping an older relative go thru some of her stuff in her house, and came across a box of things she'd kept from when her husband died. It included things like his unfinished bar of mints and a broken watch. She didn;t need to keep holding onto everythjing like that by then. She just kept the most important things. At the time when you're emotionally completely devastated, people feel like they need to hold onto every little thing, as if they're losing part of that person when they lose anything related to them. As the time goes on and that pain eases, you can look at it more rationally and realise that those things don't actually help you remember them or keep them closer to you. Maybe some of the most important ones do, like a photo or a letter. But not every bit of junk you have.

Like I said, that isn't the same thing. But I hope it helps get across what I'm saying. I don't need zomg. I might have done a few years ago, but not anymore and i didnt do by 2010.

Anyway, I mean this. You really have no reason to feel bad. I hope this post gets across what I'm tryin to say. I didn't wanna get to personal with the family stuff and the Sophie stuff, but I'm hoping that it helps you realise I genuinely hold absolutely nothing against you and can't see any way in which you've hurt me or will hurt anyone else here