Spotted richard (Not to be confused with the Spotted Dick suet pudding)
Take one black pudding (see below):
![](http://lukehoney.typepad.com/the_greasy_spoon/images/2007/10/21/wholeblackpudding_6.jpg)
Add two spuds (potatoes for those that don't know) at one end.
Post a youtube of yourself rubbing it, and there you go:
Spotted richard, or a
BIG FUCKING PETER.