Well, I'm not going to give in. I'm going to try active listening (not to be confused with corporal punishment, lol) and say that I know she's lonely and wants a pet, but there are other ways she can get companionship.
Hedwig is in the computer room now since she insisted on chirping while the PR watched TV. Hedwig was actually bought as a pet for Chirp when the other parakeet died. The PR took Hedwig for a while, but I took her back because of the chirping complaints.