siblings

[bodie]

Just wondering about the influence of siblings when raising a child?  Does it make any difference if
that child is on the spectrum?  If so,  would brothers and sisters be an advantage or a disadvantage?

I been reading about different groups in society and the idea that autistic kids are better off  in large
families.   Not sure what i make of it,  but most of you know i am raising an only child on the spectrum
and just wondered what you  think.         

['andersom']

I've seen a massive family where I suspect some of the kids to be on the spectrum.
The mother used to tell me she had lots of autistic traits. (That was before I realised and found out I was on the spectrum). She's got plenty of spectrum family relatives, both severe and more mild. The big, very structured, family does work well. Somehow for all the kids, there is a kind of safety in numbers. And, they are valued, no matter how they are. All kids are welcome, none is seen as defective. There is less individual attention possible though. And a lot less personal space too.

For my oldest, it was a good thing to get a little sister. Now she's a teen, she's not always that happy with her younger sister. Guess that that is true for a lot of teens. But, her sister did help her find courage for a lot of things.

I mostly loved having siblings.

Like my oldest, I did find courage because of the brother under me being more daring, and taking me with him.
And now, I love to talk to my second brother, who is very much like me.

Would I have been unhappy, or off worse had I been on my own? Don't think so.

On the other hand, depression seems to happen more when you have no close relationships.

Having rotten relationships with siblings, because of being the only one in the family on the spectrum would not be helpful though.

[bodie]

@ Hyke

i agree

you always make perfect sense!

['andersom']

@ Hyke

i agree

you always make perfect sense!

My kids would disagree with you on that.

And they would be totally agreeing with eachother on that too. Siblings united.  :lol:

['Butterflies']

I have 2 NT sisters. One older, one younger. I wouldnt say they made growing up any easier. I had a bad relationship with my older sister. It is worse now than it was when we were kids. She hasnt even let me see her baby.
The relationship with my younger sister wasnt bad, but I didnt have much to do with her. I just found her annoying, and I moved out when she was only 11, and hardly saw her in years. We recently got close again, and she moved over to stay with me in Ireland.
I dont think my childhood would have been too different if Id been an only child.

[odeon]

I was better off with siblings, I think. I'm close to both of them, they've helped and influenced me, and I've probably influenced them. My older brother married an autistic person. My younger sister works with autistic kids. Coincidences? Don't know. Maybe they both curse me now.

[Icequeen]

I think I would have tried shipping them to another country and forgetting to poke air holes in the box first if I had any.

Every adult that used to ask me "wouldn't you like a little brother or sister?" used to get the shock of their lives when even at the age of four I would scream "NOoooo!".

I didn't like other kids when "I" was a kid, it wasn't until I had my son that things changed. He wanted a brother or sister when he was younger, now that he's older and after going over his friends houses that have them , no way.

[Osensitive1]

Was an only child in an accepting and lenient home; it was nice. Not sure if siblings would have made a difference.

[odeon]

As a parent, I tend to think that having siblings is a good thing. Helps the kid understand that no, s/he isn't necessarily the centre of the universe.

[Calavera]

My siblings are the reason I still have some form of social life with other people.

Without them, I'd probably be a hermit in my own cave with my computer as my only friend and partner.

[odeon]

I had endless talks with my sister to understand why people behave the way they do, so yes, I know what you're talking about.

[Charlotte Quin]

I'm the youngest sibling with two older brothers. I get along ok with both of them but we've never been "close" in any sense. We barely know what's going on in each others lives unless we hear it from other people. They did tease me a bit during my younger years, but I'm still not as thick skinned as I should be for someone with older male siblings. I was left alone a lot apart from that, as they did their own boy things (backyard cricket etc). Would have liked a sister or two to keep me company on the sidelines watching

[Frolic_Fun]

I've 2 older brothers, both have pissed me off to no end. Always very condescending and disapproving. Even if I got a Noble prize, they'd still treat me like I'm 8 years old. The weird thing is though that I seem to have more sense than them two. They're the ones with criminal records.

It's even more unsettling that they've made out I'm more of a retard than I am to others to taint any hope of me being socially accepted. This caused living in Carrickmacross (where I was until 2-3 years ago) to be much more difficult especially in later years. Even worse is that it's a small town, there's only one main street and you have to walk past these people all the time and put up being ridiculed.

I gave up trying to please them long ago, got the fuck out of that shithole of a town and now I'm much happier.

[Icequeen]

As a parent, I tend to think that having siblings is a good thing. Helps the kid understand that no, s/he isn't necessarily the centre of the universe.

OMG No. Tell me it isn't true.

Seriously I know what you mean though, but it can happen with kids in a second marriage or from being the "only" boy/girl, youngest, etc. Many parents tend to pick "favorites" which sucks.

[odeon]

It's not true. You really are the centre of the universe.