Well i don't know why i am here posting at 4.30am
I feel really good.
I used to have lot's of fires in my back garden before the urchin came along. I used
to love it. Have had many perfect evenings spent just me and my dogs sitting
round a fire. I could watch fire for hours. Fascinating.
Stopped doing it when i was pregnant (worried about fumes) then didn't do it
when he was little as the baby monitor didn't work that far up the garden. I made a
fire last year on bonfire night but the urchin wouldn't come anywhere near it so
i put the whole fire thing out of my head.
My brother rang me earlier to ask if i had any wood, as he was doing a fire. Yeah i got
stock piles of wood and old shit to burn. When he came to collect it, he said 'why
don't you and the urchin come round' I hesitated, but the urchin (he loves my brother)
kept saying 'i wanna go to uncle colin's to see his fire' So we went. Oh god i only
expected to be out an hour but we didn't get home til 11.30pm! Am i a bad mommy?
He was having so much fun, i just wanted it to last. He quickly got over the fear (maybe
it was having my brother around) and was as close to it as i was. He was happily throwing
stuff on the fire with my brother and he loved it.
We had a storm too, thunder, lightening etc and it's the first time i ever seen him not
put his hands over his ears and cry! I felt really happy tonight watching him. He had
his 'fireman sam' outfit on, but when the storm came he had my brother's wax jacket
on which nearly came down to his ankles. I watched him running up and down
with this old shopping trolley carrying bits of wood, with a silly firemans hat on and
i thought 'hobo' If he hadn't already got a very suitable nickname, i would be
calling him hobo now!
So now i feel really good but a bit guilty a) because he went to bed so late and
b) should i have really introduced him to fire?
Oh and he said 'i love mommy' first time he ever said that! So i am feeling like a
dog with two cocks. I love my little urchin too.
