How are you feeling right now? (Pt 2)

[bodie]

Well i don't know why i am here posting at 4.30am

I feel really good.

I used to have lot's of fires in my back garden before the urchin came along.  I used
to love it.  Have had many perfect evenings spent just me and my dogs sitting
round a fire.  I could watch fire for hours.  Fascinating.

Stopped doing it when i was pregnant (worried about fumes)  then didn't do it
when he was little as the baby monitor didn't work that far up the garden.  I made a
fire last year on bonfire night but the urchin wouldn't come anywhere near it so
i put the whole fire thing out of my head.

My brother rang me earlier to ask if i had any wood, as he was doing a fire.  Yeah i got
stock piles of wood and old shit to burn.  When he came to collect it, he said 'why
don't you and the urchin come round'   I hesitated, but the urchin (he loves my brother)
kept saying 'i wanna go to uncle colin's to see his fire'  So we went.  Oh god i only
expected to be out an hour but we didn't get home til 11.30pm!   Am i a bad mommy?

He was having so much fun, i just wanted it to last.  He quickly got over the fear (maybe
it was having my brother around) and was as close to it as i was.  He was happily throwing
stuff on the fire with my brother and he loved it. 

We had a storm too,  thunder, lightening etc and it's the first time i ever seen him not
put his hands over his ears and cry!  I felt really happy tonight watching him.  He had
his 'fireman sam' outfit on,  but when the storm came he had my brother's wax jacket
on which nearly came down to his ankles.  I watched him running up and down
with this old shopping trolley carrying bits of wood,  with a silly firemans hat on and
i thought  'hobo'   If he hadn't already got a very suitable nickname,  i would be
calling him hobo now!

So now i feel really good but a bit guilty a) because he went to bed so late  and
b)  should i have really introduced him to fire?

Oh and he said 'i love mommy'  first time he ever said that!  So i am feeling like a
dog with two cocks.  I love my little urchin too.

[Queen Victoria]

Bodaccea - what a wonderful evening.  A fire and those precious words from you son.  Everyone progresses in their own time as you have seen.  I hope you have many more memorable evenings.

[odeon]

Feeling hung over.

[ShyOne]

Awful. My grandad died this morning and whilst I did cry for a few minutes I just pretended not to be upset and I've been joking around with my sisters all day. What the hell is wrong with me, so disrespectful.

[renaeden]

Nothing is wrong with you, it is just the way you cope.

Hope your grandad rests in peace btw.

["couldbecousin"]

Nothing is wrong with you, it is just the way you cope.

Hope your grandad rests in peace btw.

     I have the same problem of not being able to summon up the "appropriate" emotions at sad times.



  Anyway, I think what's more important is how you treat people when they are alive. 

[lutra]

My neck and shoulders hurt. Feel tired cos of it.

(Shower for the second time?)

[Al Swearegen]

Awful. My grandad died this morning and whilst I did cry for a few minutes I just pretended not to be upset and I've been joking around with my sisters all day. What the hell is wrong with me, so disrespectful.

[Queen Victoria]

Awful. My grandad died this morning and whilst I did cry for a few minutes I just pretended not to be upset and I've been joking around with my sisters all day. What the hell is wrong with me, so disrespectful.

  on your family's loss. 

Don't  about the jokes.  Humour about the departed is one way of remembering them and acknowledging their role in our lives (Remember the time he caught that fish and fell into the water? = I remember the times he took us fishing.)  Humour not about the departed can be simply a way of helping to cushion the blow (Sister tells a joke about the undertaker's daughter and the traveling salesman) or just normal laughter (Sister walks into a door, everyone laughs).

[P7PSP]

Awful. My grandad died this morning and whilst I did cry for a few minutes I just pretended not to be upset and I've been joking around with my sisters all day. What the hell is wrong with me, so disrespectful.

Sorry crip.

[bodie]

sorry about your grandad crip.

[ShyOne]

Thanks everyone

Feeling a lot better now, and full. Despite losing both parents within just months my dad's coping well and we had a family barbecue and everyone was in good spirits. So yeah, feeling good.

['andersom']

Well i don't know why i am here posting at 4.30am

I feel really good.

I used to have lot's of fires in my back garden before the urchin came along.  I used
to love it.  Have had many perfect evenings spent just me and my dogs sitting
round a fire.  I could watch fire for hours.  Fascinating.

Stopped doing it when i was pregnant (worried about fumes)  then didn't do it
when he was little as the baby monitor didn't work that far up the garden.  I made a
fire last year on bonfire night but the urchin wouldn't come anywhere near it so
i put the whole fire thing out of my head.

My brother rang me earlier to ask if i had any wood, as he was doing a fire.  Yeah i got
stock piles of wood and old shit to burn.  When he came to collect it, he said 'why
don't you and the urchin come round'   I hesitated, but the urchin (he loves my brother)
kept saying 'i wanna go to uncle colin's to see his fire'  So we went.  Oh god i only
expected to be out an hour but we didn't get home til 11.30pm!   Am i a bad mommy?

He was having so much fun, i just wanted it to last.  He quickly got over the fear (maybe
it was having my brother around) and was as close to it as i was.  He was happily throwing
stuff on the fire with my brother and he loved it. 

We had a storm too,  thunder, lightening etc and it's the first time i ever seen him not
put his hands over his ears and cry!  I felt really happy tonight watching him.  He had
his 'fireman sam' outfit on,  but when the storm came he had my brother's wax jacket
on which nearly came down to his ankles.  I watched him running up and down
with this old shopping trolley carrying bits of wood,  with a silly firemans hat on and
i thought  'hobo'   If he hadn't already got a very suitable nickname,  i would be
calling him hobo now!

So now i feel really good but a bit guilty a) because he went to bed so late  and
b)  should i have really introduced him to fire?

Oh and he said 'i love mommy'  first time he ever said that!  So i am feeling like a
dog with two cocks.  I love my little urchin too.

Awesome.

And sometimes kids just need the night. Don't worry about that.  It's a special and marvelous treat. Some of my earliest and good memories are about being awake at night, and about fires.

[odeon]

Awful. My grandad died this morning and whilst I did cry for a few minutes I just pretended not to be upset and I've been joking around with my sisters all day. What the hell is wrong with me, so disrespectful.

Nothing is wrong with you. It's called coping and only one of many ways to do it.

['andersom']

Thanks everyone

Feeling a lot better now, and full. Despite losing both parents within just months my dad's coping well and we had a family barbecue and everyone was in good spirits. So yeah, feeling good.

Sorry about your granddad.