Fucking seizures. Whilst waking up and just-post woken up (enough to be certain as certain can be, for I managed to crawl up the stairs to grab a syringe loaded with an injectable anticonvulsant) that is was NOT sleep paralysis. But woken up, initially myoclonic seizures, then passing into episodes of near complete paralysis. Could breathe and could with great difficulty, make gross-scale movements of my hands, like openiing and closing a fist or splaying fingers, but nothing fine, then would fall asleep again very quickly, having taken a double dose of the benzodiazepine I've been using for anxiety, as well as an extra capsule of chlormethiazole, two instead of one. Broke a support on the banister railings dragging myself up the stairs on all fours/on my stomach so I couldn't fall arse over tit another time (did once after smashing my head on a sink several times during the myoclonic phase, tried to get downstairs to my meds and went from top of the stairs to the bottom, missing the rest on the way down, if you get my drift. Next thing I knew then I was in hospital, coming round, having knocked myself out cold.
This time, the meds didn't work. Those two together, plus doses of morphine, gabapentin and oxycodone together should have prevented most anything. It was almost one continuous seizure, only separated by moments to a minute or so at most of moderate myoclonus, of a level that I could carefully as could be done considering, to the floor and crawl towards my med bag and manage to get a couple of chlormethiazole caps down me, the fastest acting of the lot, and manage to get a nitrazepam tablet out of the blister packs and swallow it, even that, along with a strong dose of morphine didn't stop it keeping returning again the moment I began to drift off into sleep. It WASN'T a withdrawal from the meds, that would in any of those cases make itself painfully (literally) and terrifyingly obvious. That sort of a combination would not unlikely bring many people out of status, never fucking mnd preventing this kind of shit. Managed to get an emergency appointment. its really pretty scary when it happens like that, and it just kept happening and happening again, 5-6-perhaps 7 in almost unbroken succession. Trying to call for help but being unable of more than a hoarse croak, and nobody in hearing range.
It always seems if its going to happen that it happens when I am just beginning to come out sleep or immediately after waking and becoming fully conscious but not fully wide awake, well awake just, not warmed up and ready to move again. Was stuck lying there on the sofa asleep, woke up inyo a seizure, and then another, and another and another almost unbroken in series, and almost completely paralyzed; fully aware of everything but powerless to stop it in their tracks, without the meds working. and due to the strong sedative
Nature of all the meds it just sent me back to sleep, yet despite their being powerful anticonvulsants (minus the pain medication, although, for whatever reason, presumably it generally decreasing overall excitatory tone within the central nervous system it too, as a welcome side effect, tends to decrease on the long term, overall frequency of, and in the short term, if I am having a seizure and manage to get enough of a short break to grab a needle and jam it into a muscle, without wasting time finding a vein, just stick it in like a dart from a tranq gun and get it in their fast, it also seems to help prevent further ones. Not the CAUSE of them happening being in withdrawal, because I'd know about it if I was in withdrawal from such a class (classES) of drug, and only those, piled on top of EACH OTHER made any impact.
