Author Topic: I reveal my true identity.  (Read 692 times)

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DukeNukem

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I reveal my true identity.
« on: April 01, 2011, 12:53:13 PM »
Ever since I have registered here, I have used false names and pictures of myself. Some of you might know me as Andrew or that retarded fat snaggletoothed 19 year old kid who showed his mantits to ya'll. Well, that is false. My real name is John Thomas and in my avatar is a real picture of myself. Handsome guy, eh? Well, your accusations of me buggering hogs are true. But that's only a small part of my story. 5 years ago, I was released from prison on child sexual abuse related charges, I was put on the national sexual offender registry, and I'm still on probation. Since I couldn't just go out by myself anymore, I had to find a way to satisfy myself. But in the remote area where I am, there were no children, but there was a farm nearby, so one night, I sneaked out of my house and into the farm. One thing led to another and I was in the pig pen. The sight of pigs' tight, fat, dirty asses with that cute little corked tail just above the anus turned me on far harder than any brat's flat ass. I took off my clothes and started fucking one of the hogs in the ass. But first, I put an apple in its mouth. You see, I love apples and I carry some with me whenever I go somewhere. I came in the hog's anus and snuck back to my house, washing my body and my clothes. I kept on doing that during nights until I got caught one morning by one of the people on the farm. I was going to stab him with my knife, but he had his gun pointed at me. If I moved, I would have been dead. The police were called and when I had my trial for violating my probation, I pleaded insanity, and was committed into a mental institution. I'm still there. This is where I really am typing this from. I have Internet privileges. My favorite food is pork. Because it reminds me of pigs. And I love masturbating to the Muppets show because of Ms. Piggy. I can't get enough pig porn! Someone please post some good pig porn!

DukeNukem

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2011, 12:58:39 PM »
Oh, and I kind of forgot to tell ya'll that I killed some pigs in some cool ways. That really turns me on. One night, I took my knife and gutted out a pig after it bit me. I ate the contents of its stomach and masturbated into it with one of its intestines. But please don't tell anyone!

Offline Squidusa

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2011, 01:03:08 PM »
Dats so hawt  :autism:
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.  

P7PSP

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2011, 01:04:10 PM »
Ever since I have registered here, I have used false names and pictures of myself. Some of you might know me as Andrew or that retarded fat snaggletoothed 19 year old kid who showed his mantits to ya'll. Well, that is false. My real name is John Thomas and in my avatar is a real picture of myself. Handsome guy, eh? Well, your accusations of me buggering hogs are true. But that's only a small part of my story. 5 years ago, I was released from prison on child sexual abuse related charges, I was put on the national sexual offender registry, and I'm still on probation. Since I couldn't just go out by myself anymore, I had to find a way to satisfy myself. But in the remote area where I am, there were no children, but there was a farm nearby, so one night, I sneaked out of my house and into the farm. One thing led to another and I was in the pig pen. The sight of pigs' tight, fat, dirty asses with that cute little corked tail just above the anus turned me on far harder than any brat's flat ass. I took off my clothes and started fucking one of the hogs in the ass. But first, I put an apple in its mouth. You see, I love apples and I carry some with me whenever I go somewhere. I came in the hog's anus and snuck back to my house, washing my body and my clothes. I kept on doing that during nights until I got caught one morning by one of the people on the farm. I was going to stab him with my knife, but he had his gun pointed at me. If I moved, I would have been dead. The police were called and when I had my trial for violating my probation, I pleaded insanity, and was committed into a mental institution. I'm still there. This is where I really am typing this from. I have Internet privileges. My favorite food is pork. Because it reminds me of pigs. And I love masturbating to the Muppets show because of Ms. Piggy. I can't get enough pig porn! Someone please post some good pig porn!
Sir_Les was right all along.

Binty

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2011, 01:06:01 PM »
 :yawn:

Offline SBI_Patience

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2011, 01:08:54 PM »
Mmmm here is something to get you started then. ;)

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Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2011, 01:30:42 PM »
Up until you started talking about your love of children I thought this might be an April Fools joke :P

Offline Semicolon

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2011, 01:35:30 PM »
 :clap: :laugh:
I2 has a smiley for everything. Even a hamster wheel. :hamsterwheel:

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Jesus died on the cross to show us that BDSM is a legitimate form of love.
There is only one truth and it is that people do have penises of different sizes and one of them is the longest.

Offline bodie

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2011, 01:40:41 PM »
are you the guy with the 'rasher's' around your groin???
blah blah blah

Offline Semicolon

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2011, 01:43:07 PM »
are you the guy with the 'rasher's' around your groin???

Yes, that's him.
I2 has a smiley for everything. Even a hamster wheel. :hamsterwheel:

Quote from: iamnotaparakeet
Jesus died on the cross to show us that BDSM is a legitimate form of love.
There is only one truth and it is that people do have penises of different sizes and one of them is the longest.

Offline Squidusa

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2011, 01:44:56 PM »


Or am I getting the wrong end of the stick?  :zoinks:
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.  

midlifeaspie

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2011, 01:50:19 PM »
You are Ben Affleck after he went on a bacon bender?

Offline odeon

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #12 on: April 01, 2011, 01:52:28 PM »
:yawn:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline bodie

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Re: I reveal my true identity.
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2011, 01:53:44 PM »
blah blah blah

Offline Squidusa

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I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.