Being a bit introspective here.

[eris]

i think this all shows that you are maturing and growing up





As for ME, introspection as of late is, " They are very young, you could really hurt them. Be gentle"

[Icequeen]

My hardest thing has been learning how to tell people "no", I've let people physically and mentally zap me until the point of overload, and then when I finally blow like a small volcano, they stand in the lava flow and wonder WTF just happened. I'm getting better at it, but that's a skill that still needs work.

I've needed to make some changes in my life, but health, financial issues, taking care of others and the fact that I'm a spazz who sometimes can't stand to leave the house and be around anyone somedays hasn't helped with the progress. I've come to the realization that most trainwrecks are the result of poor choices and are sometimes unavoidable once the engine starts flying down the track and other factors come into play. You can make the best of things, wallow in it, or find an institution that serves cake. 

["couldbecousin"]

My hardest thing has been learning how to tell people "no", I've let people physically and mentally zap me until the point of overload, and then when I finally blow like a small volcano, they stand in the lava flow and wonder WTF just happened. I'm getting better at it, but that's a skill that still needs work.

I've needed to make some changes in my life, but health, financial issues, taking care of others and the fact that I'm a spazz who sometimes can't stand to leave the house and be around anyone somedays hasn't helped with the progress. I've come to the realization that most trainwrecks are the result of poor choices and are sometimes unavoidable once the engine starts flying down the track and other factors come into play. You can make the best of things, wallow in it, or find an institution that serves cake. 

   and a big homemade cake for a turn of phrase worthy of being embroidered on every throw pillow in this great land!

[RageBeoulve]

Schleed. 

Much respect, pal. It takes balls to look objectively at onesself.

[bodie]

oh and by the way shleed,  you say you are friendlier IRL than on here?  sometimes your posts are a little blunt, but can honestly say you seemed cool when i spoke to you in chat the other day.  it came as a surprise really,  on the boards you seem rude at times.  In chat, i thought you were friendly, and chatty and ....erm ...well...even nice

i think i probably speak differently in chat too...wonder if its cus its more IRL???

['andersom']

Thanks for this thread Schleed.

I'm moving in an opposite direction.

From a very young age saw way too many shades of grey. I was aware from age 6 or 7 that I would never be able to know if someone thought or saw the same as I did. Did have my rigidity though.
I've been raised with lots of patience, in a very sweet way. My parents always were prepared to show me a different possible perspective on a rigid view I had. So, I became a "rigid" looker for as much as perspectives as possible. I am a master in finding possible parameters in someone's thinking, and can think up possible perspectives with those parameters as a starting point. I am always aware that I might be wrong, and that there is another perspective possible.

Made it really hard for me to stand up for my own ideas and thinking, made it hard to know what I was thinking or what I wanted. Made it hard to stand up for my rights, I could think up the wants of the other way too good. Made it hard to be cuntish. On top of that, I was a perfectionist, so very afraid to make a mistake. Not helpful in a situation like that.

But, learning. And that is about time.

Having a teenage kid, and another on the brink of being a teenager helps. You have to be firm and aware of your own needs to get through that. 

I was extreme the other way. And that is not a way that leads to friendships either. Made myself a doormat. And I am way too good for that.

[earthboundmisfit]

I find myself putting up a 'dumb' front and acting less intelligent than I actually am. I've realized it is an outdated defense mechanism dating back to grade school when I was beaten and brutalized by certain children who were older that I was because I was much smarter than they were.


Decided to stop doing that. I'm big enough to fight back now.

[RageBeoulve]

Yeah, despite our differences schleed, I have been going through a similar experience.

[eris]

oh and by the way shleed,  you say you are friendlier IRL than on here?  sometimes your posts are a little blunt, but can honestly say you seemed cool when i spoke to you in chat the other day.  it came as a surprise really,  on the boards you seem rude at times.  In chat, i thought you were friendly, and chatty and ....erm ...well...even nice

i think i probably speak differently in chat too...wonder if its cus its more IRL???

Yes, I also  think you're nice.  Some people are just too sensitive.

[RageBeoulve]

oh and by the way shleed,  you say you are friendlier IRL than on here?  sometimes your posts are a little blunt, but can honestly say you seemed cool when i spoke to you in chat the other day.  it came as a surprise really,  on the boards you seem rude at times.  In chat, i thought you were friendly, and chatty and ....erm ...well...even nice

i think i probably speak differently in chat too...wonder if its cus its more IRL???

Yes, I also  think you're nice.  Some people are just too sensitive.

I get mad at him sometimes, I have to admit. 

[Frolic_Fun]

Rage, you are easily pissed off though.

There is an issue that some people are indeed too sensitive for their own good. I will be improving myself but there's a fucking limit when said person does a giant emo fit because you did the most trivial thing ever.

[RageBeoulve]

I'm rage.