Those of you with children

[Adam]

Do you raise your kids to be religious?

What would you do if you found out they'd been looking at porn?

What level of privacy do they have (ie would you read their diary, look through their things etc)

If they're getting overweight, what would you do?

How would you respond if they told you they wanted to be a different sex?

Do you have a gun in your house and is it loaded?

If they wanted to refuse medical treatment, under what kind of circumstances would you force it?

(I know all these depend on the age of your kid, but you can incorporate that into your answers_)

[Queen Victoria]

Do you raise your kids to be religious?
YES.  IN FACT I WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK HER TO CHURCH AND CONFIRMATION CLASSES.  WHEN SHE WENT TO A RELIGIOUS SCHOOL FOR SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN THEY HAD WEEKLY MASS, SO I SUBSTITUTED IT FOR SUNDAY SERVICE.  SHE WAS ONLY ALLOWED TO STOP GOING TO CHURCH WHEN SHE GRADUATED IN MAY.

What would you do if you found out they'd been looking at porn?
OOH, CAN I HAVE A PEEK?  NO PROBLEM, IT'S HUMAN NATURE.  IN ALL PROBABILITY SHE WOULDDN'T LOOK AT PORN, SO I WOULD SAY THAT PORN IS OKAY AND THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO LOOK AT IT.

What level of privacy do they have (ie would you read their diary, look through their things etc)
MY CHILD HAS NO PRIVACY.  SORRY, THAT'S MY WAY.

If they're getting overweight, what would you do?
TOUGH ONE BECAUSE I'M OVERWEIGHT TOO.  ONE DAY WE'LL FIGHT IT TOGETHER

How would you respond if they told you they wanted to be a different sex?
ASK HER WHY SHE WHAT EXACTLY SHE MEANS AND THINKS THIS IS AND TALK TO HER.  IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE SOMETHING SHE SAW ON TV OR IN A MOVIE.

Do you have a gun in your house and is it loaded?
SEVERAL.  NO THEY'RE NOT.

If they wanted to refuse medical treatment, under what kind of circumstances would you force it?
WE ARE GRADUALLY LETTING HER HAVE MORE SAY IN HER MEDICAL CARE, BUT OPERATIONS WOULD BE OUR DECISION.

(I know all these depend on the age of your kid, but you can incorporate that into your answers_)

The Pricess Royal is 21, but has a functional level of a 9 or 10 year old on her best days. 

[Adam]

I think she should be entitled to some privacy personally ^

Also if I'm being honest I think forcing religion on a child is abhorrent

[Adam]

I understand she is mentally much younger though, but still - are you even legally allowed to veto her on medical decisions?

[Queen Victoria]

I think she should be entitled to some privacy personally ^

Also if I'm being honest I think forcing religion on a child is abhorrent

Will disagree with you on privacy until the day each of us dies.

Religion can be a comfort to children.  

[Adam]

Religion being a comfort is no excuse. Don't you want your daughter to have freedom over what she believes? Don't you want her to understand the world as it IS, rather than as some delusional people say it is?

Why do you believe she should ha\ve no privacy?

btw what do you think your answers would be if she wasn't 9/10 mentally?

[Queen Victoria]

Yes.  We have legal and medical powers of attorney for her.  She understands that this gives the right to make decisions she doesn't want to make.  

My husband and I would certainly listen to her opinion, but in the end we would explain to her why we think the way we do and make the decision.  Getting her into the car and to the hospital might be another battle however - lol.

[Adam]

What kind of life does she have? - as in does she go to school, have friends etc (if you're ok talking about her - I'm just asking because I'm trying to understand why you answered the way you did btw, obviously I would have different views on raising kids if they're in completely different situations)

[Queen Victoria]

Religion being a comfort is no excuse. Don't you want your daughter to have freedom over what she believes? Don't you want her to understand the world as it IS, rather than as some delusional people say it is?

Why do you believe she should ha\ve no privacy?

btw what do you think your answers would be if she wasn't 9/10 mentally?

Unless she is exposed to religion she will not have the freedom over what she believes.  She hasn't been exposed to Bhuddism, Judiasm, Shintoism, Voodoo, etc.  We chose to let her be taught my husband's religion. 

Since she cannot always express what she wants to say fully I use the clues I find to help me guide conversations with her. 

If she were able to function on an older level I would probably say that when she reached high school she could decide on whether to continue church.   Privacy would continue to be at my discretion until she left for college.

BTW, a dear friend has a daughter the Princess Royal's age with similar problems.  This girl had brain surgery to reduce epileptic seizures.  Unfortunately when the surgery was performed they removed part of her impulse control.  Every time they leave a store the mom pats the daughter down and returns any items to the shelves.  Also her room is examined every so often and missing things returned to school or church as appropriate.  No privacy there either.

[Queen Victoria]

What kind of life does she have? - as in does she go to school, have friends etc (if you're ok talking about her - I'm just asking because I'm trying to understand why you answered the way you did btw, obviously I would have different views on raising kids if they're in completely different situations)

I'll pm you.

[Adam]

ok thanks, it sounds like your daughter is much more different than your average kid I'd ben assuming (I knew she had bad epilepsy and possibly was autistic ? but didn't know it was this severe. Your approach makes more sense to me now. Although I definitely disagree on the religious stuff

I mean you can choose what you belieeve without ever going to church. Forcing kids to go to church is wrong imo. Why not let them read the bible/koran etc and let them decide that way? We'd have a lot less religious people if more parents did that

[Al Swearegen]

Do you raise your kids to be religious?

Nope. I think my boy believes in little baby Jesus and so on but I basically make no deal about it. I preface any questions with "Some people believe that.." He can believe what he likes in this respect. If I think a belief is harmful I will strongly interject myself.


What would you do if you found out they'd been looking at porn?

I think that it would embarrass both of them and I would not expose them to it. There is a time and place and things that will be highly embarrassing and more than they want to know about will at some time become more interesting and enticing. Porn then would be OK as long as it was in private and not exposing others to it.

What level of privacy do they have (ie would you read their diary, look through their things etc)

Yup a lot of privacy and communication channels open and a lot of ground rules and values in place. Abuse will result in taking away such freedoms...and a grumpy Father.

If they're getting overweight, what would you do?

Keep nutrition up and up exercise.

How would you respond if they told you they wanted to be a different sex?

Ask why and what that means to them. Tell them I think they are fine the way they are and why. Ultimately it is their choice I guess.

Do you have a gun in your house and is it loaded?

Nope

If they wanted to refuse medical treatment, under what kind of circumstances would you force it?

Always. I would do what I thought best for them. They were in pain  and needed an operation to fix it I would do it. What kind of situation are you meaning here?

(I know all these depend on the age of your kid, but you can incorporate that into your answers_)

Kids are 13 and 10

[Adam]

That sounds pretty much how I would think I would raise kids if I had them, except maybe the trans question, but that's not surprising I guess

Medical treatment - I wasn't thinking of anything in particular at the time. I'm guessing most situations like this would be pretty extreme, ie when they're extremely ill and don't want to risk an operation which could kill them/make them worse, but could also improve their life expectancy

[Al Swearegen]

That sounds pretty much how I would think I would raise kids if I had them, except maybe the trans question, but that's not surprising I guess

Medical treatment - I wasn't thinking of anything in particular at the time. I'm guessing most situations like this would be pretty extreme, ie when they're extremely ill and don't want to risk an operation which could kill them/make them worse, but could also improve their life expectancy

Until they are adults and can make and take adult responsibility then I will make the best call I can and advise them of why

[Icequeen]

Do you raise your kids to be religious?

No. I do encourage him to be tolerant of the religious choices of others (his 3 cousins are JW's).

What would you do if you found out they'd been looking at porn?

He's going to be curious as he get older I'm sure, it's human nature. I have to agree with Sir Les on this one.

What level of privacy do they have (ie would you read their diary, look through their things etc)

I'm a big believer in privacy, and we talk alot. That said, if the communication broke down completely and I really thought he was in danger of hurting himself or someone else, I might peek. I'd risk losing his trust before I'd risk losing him.

If they're getting overweight, what would you do?

Probably make some better food choices for both of us without saying anything, try to exercise together more.

How would you respond if they told you they wanted to be a different sex?

I'd think I'd ask him if he was really sure and really knew that was what he wanted and what was involved. If he was sure of his decision, than I'd stand behind him all the way. I'll always love the person he is inside, changing the body wouldn't ever change that.

Do you have a gun in your house and is it loaded?

No

If they wanted to refuse medical treatment, under what kind of circumstances would you force it?

If I knew it was something necessay, and it was something that could be fixed than yes, I would force it. If we're talking about something more serious, without good odds, then the choice would ultimately be his.