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Author Topic: I feel very bitter.  (Read 4479 times)

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Osensitive1

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #30 on: January 16, 2011, 06:07:17 PM »
You're not really bitter unless there's bile involved. Maybe it's another emotion instead.
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Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #31 on: January 16, 2011, 06:15:30 PM »
Quote from: hykeaswell on January 16, 2011, 06:05:01 PM
Duke, life is not fair, and it never will be.

You are on the spectrum, and you don't have the most optimistic way to look into the world. You also have moods that can make it hard to connect with people on top of that.

So, life is hard. Making friends will be hard. It's not impossible though.

I think it is time you start to take serious where life is hard for you. Whining for a while is OK. But then it is time to make an inventory of good and bad things. And also a list of what you need help with, and what kind of help.
Stopping to whine doesn't mean you should stop taking your problems serious. It means that you should stop wallowing in feeling sorry, and take the problems really serious. Take them serious and try to find the support you need.

There will be support there to help students. Go there, lay your cards on the table. You are on the spectrum. You have sensory issues. You find it hard to connect with people. You want to have some connections with people. You can have moments of rage and lashing out. You need to get some grip on that. Investigate what you need. And go for it. Don't be ashamed to ask for help.

It will never be easy. But, don't let that keep you from trying.

And do bring your expectations down to something realistic. Making friends the first week would be a miracle. Give it time, and do make an effort. 

Hyke is very right. She said it better than I would have.

If you want to be friends with these people you CAN NOT lash out at them. If someone lashes out at me in real life I will not be their friend.
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DukeNukem

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #32 on: January 16, 2011, 09:19:14 PM »
I do not lash out at people IRL. I can't get angry anymore. I just get even more depressed.
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Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #33 on: January 16, 2011, 09:34:35 PM »
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:19:14 PM
I do not lash out at people IRL. I can't get angry anymore. I just get even more depressed.

That is a good start. Although you must not show them that you are depressed. Remember, your classmates are probably not aspie, they just want to make friends with people who are fun. I know that maybe isn't how you feel, but if you want to make friends with NTs you will have to do a bit of acting. People always tell you to be yourself. That is not true for me. I find it easiest to be what they want you to be. #I have been to college a few times, and the best advice I can give is to hide any negative emotions you might feel. Be fun, cool, and happy. You might feel like shit on the inside, but do not let them see that. If you project negative emotions people will avoid you like the plague.

Be sweet, nice, and helpfull. You are probably not stupid compared to some of your classmates, always be ready to help anyone who needs help. Not all of those people will want to be your friend, but maybe one will.
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DukeNukem

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #34 on: January 16, 2011, 09:59:55 PM »
I just went on a rage and broke some shit. I don't know what the fuck anymore.
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Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #35 on: January 16, 2011, 10:01:02 PM »
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:59:55 PM
I just went on a rage and broke some shit. I don't know what the fuck anymore.

Did you do this at college?
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #36 on: January 16, 2011, 10:02:05 PM »
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:59:55 PM
I just went on a rage and broke some shit. I don't know what the fuck anymore.

Take some deep breaths and slow yourself down.   :hug:
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Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #37 on: January 16, 2011, 10:02:31 PM »
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:59:55 PM
I just went on a rage and broke some shit. I don't know what the fuck anymore.

Well, that is not helping you any. Just...I don't know, sit still if you can, try to calm down.  :-\
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DukeNukem

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #38 on: January 16, 2011, 10:13:41 PM »
Quote from: Butterflies on January 16, 2011, 10:01:02 PM
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:59:55 PM
I just went on a rage and broke some shit. I don't know what the fuck anymore.

Did you do this at college?

No. It was at home.
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Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #39 on: January 16, 2011, 10:27:21 PM »
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 10:13:41 PM
Quote from: Butterflies on January 16, 2011, 10:01:02 PM
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:59:55 PM
I just went on a rage and broke some shit. I don't know what the fuck anymore.

Did you do this at college?

No. It was at home.

That's not too bad then. I do promise you, that your best chance of making friends is to let them see that you're a sweet guy. Trust me, nobody is going to want to be friends with somebody that is mentally unstable. You have shown me that you can be sweet. If you want to make friends you must be like that 100% of the time you are around them. If you need to go home and smash things up, then so be it. Just never let your classmates see that side of you.

One thinng I might advise you to do is look at the positives in your life. I'm guessing most of your classmates are kids. You might be one of the few who has their own accomodation. If you become close-ish to some of your classmates, inviting them home for a drink might help you bond. I know it has worked for me before. If I was struggling to make friends, I would bring them out for drives in my car, and bring them home to spend the night, and help them get drink. I know this is not the perfect solution, but under the right circumstances it can help you to get to know some of them.
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Offline Adam

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #40 on: January 17, 2011, 01:57:03 AM »
Shut up moaning you fucking emo faggot
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #41 on: January 17, 2011, 04:14:02 AM »
Spend a few bucks at a yard sale on the most ugly crockery you can find.
When raging, throw a plate, and afterwards carefully pick up the pieces.
The whole process of both destruction and clearing up can be very calming.

The uglier the plates and mugs, the more satisfying to destroy them.
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Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #42 on: January 17, 2011, 04:19:23 AM »
Quote from: Butterflies on January 16, 2011, 09:34:35 PM
Quote from: Pentagram on January 16, 2011, 09:19:14 PM
I do not lash out at people IRL. I can't get angry anymore. I just get even more depressed.

That is a good start. Although you must not show them that you are depressed. Remember, your classmates are probably not aspie, they just want to make friends with people who are fun. I know that maybe isn't how you feel, but if you want to make friends with NTs you will have to do a bit of acting. People always tell you to be yourself. That is not true for me. I find it easiest to be what they want you to be. #I have been to college a few times, and the best advice I can give is to hide any negative emotions you might feel. Be fun, cool, and happy. You might feel like shit on the inside, but do not let them see that. If you project negative emotions people will avoid you like the plague.

Be sweet, nice, and helpfull. You are probably not stupid compared to some of your classmates, always be ready to help anyone who needs help. Not all of those people will want to be your friend, but maybe one will.

i may sound like a bit of an aspie-elitist saying this, but, its true for NT's, cus "theyre all alike.... "
seriously tho, you dont see THAT much of a variation between various personalities, out there, so its true for them, "be yourself" means "be charming, happy, outgoing, and fond lover of parties and masses of people, such as an ibiza-beach party."
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DukeNukem

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #43 on: January 17, 2011, 12:12:23 PM »
I got my textbooks today from Amazon! Now it's time for me to buckle down and read Chapter 1 in each of these three books. :2thumbsup:
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Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: I feel very bitter.
« Reply #44 on: January 17, 2011, 12:25:11 PM »
Quote from: Pentagram on January 17, 2011, 12:12:23 PM
I got my textbooks today from Amazon! Now it's time for me to buckle down and read Chapter 1 in each of these three books. :2thumbsup:

There you go. Onward and upward!  :viking:
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"I'm finding a lot of things funny lately, but I don't think they are."
--- Ripley, Alien Resurrection


"We are grateful for the time we have been given."
--- Edward Walker, The Village

People forget.
--- The Who, "Eminence Front"
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